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   People say that they curse but when they took surveys. Candidates got 1/2 and the non cursing got 3/2. This is proof that candidates don't curse. When they curse they bleep it out. But other people who got surveyed got 4/2 about getting bleeped. This shows that people curse, even candidates. There is a betting site about this, and this weeks Democratic debates are very good. People can bet on doing lots of stuff if a candidate curse. There can also be a malfunction during the CNN broadcast and people surveyed, yes 6/1 and no 1/12. This can show that candidates curse.  
 
   People say that they curse but when they took surveys. Candidates got 1/2 and the non cursing got 3/2. This is proof that candidates don't curse. When they curse they bleep it out. But other people who got surveyed got 4/2 about getting bleeped. This shows that people curse, even candidates. There is a betting site about this, and this weeks Democratic debates are very good. People can bet on doing lots of stuff if a candidate curse. There can also be a malfunction during the CNN broadcast and people surveyed, yes 6/1 and no 1/12. This can show that candidates curse.  
 
1/9/20
 
1/9/20
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Edits: This needs a source, so whoever is reading or editing this can go back to the original source and make sure it goes along the lines of what the article is talking about.
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Would a Candidate Curse?
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**I reworded the title so it captures the reader’s eyes. Also, make sure your spelling is correct.
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It is said that people curse, but would a candidate? Well, surveys show that one in every two candidates curse while those who don’t curse are three chances out of two.
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**I reworded the first and second sentence as they didn’t make sense grammatically. Also numbers below ten should be written out. Additionally, the lack of a source makes it harder for one to edit as best as they can while sticking to the article.
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This is evident that candidates don’t curse as much as the average person would.
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**I reworded this for better clarity of the argument being made.
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In fact, when candidates curse, they are censored.
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**Again, rewording this sentence for better clarity and avoiding vagueness. I also recommended removing the fifth and sixth sentence since it’s extra information that may be unnecessary.
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There is actually a betting site on this, where people can bet on certain things if a candidate does curse.
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**I merged the first part of the seventh sentence with the eighth sentence to provide fluidity for a singular idea.
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This week’s Democratic debates have been going very well.
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**I made the latter part of the seventh sentence its own sentence.
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 +
There could be a lot of things that could go wrong in this debate, such as a malfunction during a CNN broadcast.
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**I rearranged the wording of this sentence and made it go along with the idea of the Democratic debates.

Revision as of 23:09, 14 January 2020

Tenzin's Analysis Page

Chinese Mothers
  Chinese are superior according to this article. Amy Chua,the article creator, explains why Chinese mothers are superior. Chinese mothers tell there kids to do many math whizzes and music prodigies. Chinese kids are raised so stereotypical and successful because of there mother. Chinese mothers make there kids very smart and they can't attend sleepovers. Also they can't tell there friends to come to there house because of there Chinese parents. This is why Chinese mothers are superior

www.wsg.com

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/jul/30/will-any-candidate-say-a-curse-word-bookies-take-w/

Fortnite Article

Kyle won a fortnite competition and he got $3 million dollars. Teenagers get extra cash usually by mowing lawns but Kyle said no to all other teenagers. He went to a competition and he practiced before the world cup. He won it and now he is rich. He said he played games before the world cup and lasted about 23 minutes in each game. He was competing against 99 other players that are really good. Also practice equals success.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/29/us/fortnite-world-cup-winner-bugha.html

China Not Trustworthy on Trade

  President Trump says that China is untrustworthy in trade. His top negotiators were in Shanghai trying to make a trade deal. This might mean that we won't have rice, since rice comes from China. Also many other foods we eat from China will not be here since China is untrustworthy. China would prefer to deal with a democratic contender, which is Joseph R. Biden and Sen. Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and U.S. Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer are in China this week, trying to find out differences about the Asians and find a way trade that doesn't conflict global markets. After the talk in May, they didn't trade but now there going back to where they were before.

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/jul/30/donald-trump-china-not-trustworthy-trade/

Just 1 Hour of Playing A Game

    Scientists from the University of Electronic Science say that 1 hour of playing games help the brain be active. The scientists got 29 males to play a game called, League Of Legends. Some of the kids have been playing for at least 2 years, the rest of them have been playing fewer than 6 months. The group of 2 years were in the top of the players, this is relevant because this proves that the kids that have more experience are better. And this can help the brain because the brain focuses more. But the people that has less experience only got to the bottom 11%. The reason why they came at the bottom was because they weren't focused. This shows that playing a game in 1 hour can help your attention and help you focus more. 

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320943.php

Ice Cream

   Ice cream is made by milk, flour, and camphor. The Persians made ice cream by putting grape juice and put snow on top. That was in 500 BC. Now the recipe changed over the years. Europeans found out how to make ice cream in the 16th century while US found it in 1744 when  Maryland Governor Thomas Bladen served strawberry ice cream to people. Now there are over 1000 varieties of ice cream flavor. The common flavors are vanilla and chocolate, and adding ingredients such as sprinkles. There also is a thing that if you like a specific type of ice cream. For example, people that like vanilla, they are impulsive risk takers. 

https://www.dogonews.com/2019/7/6/national-ice-cream-month-has-begun 12/20/19

Fortnite Article

Kyle won a fortnite competition and he got $3 million dollars. Teenagers get extra cash usually by mowing lawns but Kyle said no to all other teenagers. He went to a competition and he practiced before the world cup. He won it and now he is rich. He said he played games before the world cup and lasted about 23 minutes in each game. He was competing against 99 other players that are really good. Also practice equals success.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/29/us/fortnite-world-cup-winner-bugha.html 1/3/20

Pele

Pele was a very good soccer player. He made it in the World Cup when he was just 17 and a half. He said a very popular quote, such as, “When you have the responsibility to carry the name of your country, the World Cup is different." He was born in October 23, 1940. (right now he is 79 years old). What he was famous for is he was the greatest soccer player. He was part of the Brazilian team in the World Cup, and also won three World Cup Championships. One game was a popular match where his team was losing but all of a sudden, he started to catch up and made goals. Then around the end of the game, he made it a tie, he took a single shot and made a goal, and won the match by a measly 4-3. https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/06/sports/soccer/06vecsey.html 1/3/20

Will A Cadidate say a curse word?

  People say that they curse but when they took surveys. Candidates got 1/2 and the non cursing got 3/2. This is proof that candidates don't curse. When they curse they bleep it out. But other people who got surveyed got 4/2 about getting bleeped. This shows that people curse, even candidates. There is a betting site about this, and this weeks Democratic debates are very good. People can bet on doing lots of stuff if a candidate curse. There can also be a malfunction during the CNN broadcast and people surveyed, yes 6/1 and no 1/12. This can show that candidates curse. 

1/9/20

Edits: This needs a source, so whoever is reading or editing this can go back to the original source and make sure it goes along the lines of what the article is talking about.

Would a Candidate Curse?

    • I reworded the title so it captures the reader’s eyes. Also, make sure your spelling is correct.

It is said that people curse, but would a candidate? Well, surveys show that one in every two candidates curse while those who don’t curse are three chances out of two.

    • I reworded the first and second sentence as they didn’t make sense grammatically. Also numbers below ten should be written out. Additionally, the lack of a source makes it harder for one to edit as best as they can while sticking to the article.

This is evident that candidates don’t curse as much as the average person would.

    • I reworded this for better clarity of the argument being made.

In fact, when candidates curse, they are censored.

    • Again, rewording this sentence for better clarity and avoiding vagueness. I also recommended removing the fifth and sixth sentence since it’s extra information that may be unnecessary.

There is actually a betting site on this, where people can bet on certain things if a candidate does curse.

    • I merged the first part of the seventh sentence with the eighth sentence to provide fluidity for a singular idea.

This week’s Democratic debates have been going very well.

    • I made the latter part of the seventh sentence its own sentence.

There could be a lot of things that could go wrong in this debate, such as a malfunction during a CNN broadcast.

    • I rearranged the wording of this sentence and made it go along with the idea of the Democratic debates.