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Tedh's Writing Page  
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Tedh's Writing Page (2020)
  
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'''Original:'''  
  
 
        
 
        
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July 21
 
July 21
  
The monkey played the song the scarecrow on his fiddle the music was sooooo bad that the wolf admired that the fiddle was not actual his and that the bow and arrow belonged to the monkey.
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The monkey played the song the scarecrow on his fiddle the music was sooooo bad that the wolf admired that the fiddle was not actual his and that the bow and arrow belonged to the monkey.       
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July 29
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In my opinion the farmer was surprised because he actually did all the work and then the crow was on the bulls head and the crow told the farmer it was a hard day and then the farmer asked why afterwards the crow said because i did all the work the farmer said really and the crow said yeah and flew of laughing.

Revision as of 18:20, 29 July 2020

Tedh's Writing Page (2020)

Original:


     The boy was able to get out of the Stomach of the fish by cutting of a piece of the liver, therefore, the fish vomited up the boy. According to the text,”... he became very hungry, the boy looked around and saw the fishes liver hanging right over his head. Thinking it was dried meat, he tried to cut of a piece with a muscle shell he had been playing with before and still held in his. Wile the operation sickens in the stomach it vomited the boy out. So, the boy got hungry and cut a piece of the fishes liver and the fish vomited him out. In conclusion, the boy was able to get out of the fish because it vomited him out.


Corrections:

  The boy was able to get out of the Stomach of the fish by cutting of a piece of the liver, therefore, the fish vomited up the boy.
      • Change "the" liver to "its liver." Try: "

According to the text,”... he became very hungry, the boy looked around and saw the fishes liver hanging right over his head.

      • Edited for spelling. The plural for fish is still fish, not fishes. Additionally, the liver "belongs" to the fish, therefore it's possessive. It should be changed to: "fish's..."

Wile the operation sickens in the stomach it vomited the boy out. So, the boy got hungry and cut a piece of the fishes liver and the fish vomited him out

      • I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say here. Let's change it to: "The boy made the fish sick when his liver was cut open and it vomited the boy out."

Fully Edited Version: The boy was able to get out of the fish's stomach by cutting off a piece of its liver, which caused the fish to vomit up the boy. According to the text,”... he became very hungry. The boy looked around and saw the fish's liver hanging right over his head. Thinking it was dried meat, he tried to cut off a piece with a muscle shell he had been playing with before and still held in his hand. The boy made the fish sick when his liver was cut open and it vomited the boy out. So, the boy got hungry and cut a piece of the fishes liver and the fish vomited him out.

July 21

The monkey played the song the scarecrow on his fiddle the music was sooooo bad that the wolf admired that the fiddle was not actual his and that the bow and arrow belonged to the monkey.

July 29

In my opinion the farmer was surprised because he actually did all the work and then the crow was on the bulls head and the crow told the farmer it was a hard day and then the farmer asked why afterwards the crow said because i did all the work the farmer said really and the crow said yeah and flew of laughing.