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<br> '''Original Article'''<br />
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I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First, rockets are a reaction-propulsion device that hold all of its propellants internally.Second, it has been around for almost a millennium since its invention in China. Third ,in the twentieth-century saw a technological explosion of new rocket-propulsion systems they have been using both solid and liquid propellants. Fourth, Rocket-powered vehicles were developed for two primary purposes: spaceflight and weaponry. In conclusion , this is what I learned from after reading this article.
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Thank yoouuuu
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Source: https://www.si.edu/spotlight/rockets-missiles
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<br> '''Original Article'''<br  
 
<br> I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First,Apollo mission is also called the blue marble because it shows how Earth is about 28,000 miles away.Second,Earth is unique in having water most planets are awash.Third,Photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power, its way of making use of all that light energy that comes from the Sun. Fourth,Modern solar cells do this with semiconductors, and the harvest consists of electrons, which flow after they are excited by photons of light.Inconcousloin this is what I learned  from after reading the article. <br />
 
<br> I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First,Apollo mission is also called the blue marble because it shows how Earth is about 28,000 miles away.Second,Earth is unique in having water most planets are awash.Third,Photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power, its way of making use of all that light energy that comes from the Sun. Fourth,Modern solar cells do this with semiconductors, and the harvest consists of electrons, which flow after they are excited by photons of light.Inconcousloin this is what I learned  from after reading the article. <br />
 
thank you
 
thank you

Revision as of 22:20, 29 July 2020

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First, rockets are a reaction-propulsion device that hold all of its propellants internally.Second, it has been around for almost a millennium since its invention in China. Third ,in the twentieth-century saw a technological explosion of new rocket-propulsion systems they have been using both solid and liquid propellants. Fourth, Rocket-powered vehicles were developed for two primary purposes: spaceflight and weaponry. In conclusion , this is what I learned from after reading this article.

Thank yoouuuu Source: https://www.si.edu/spotlight/rockets-missiles













Original Article<br
I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First,Apollo mission is also called the blue marble because it shows how Earth is about 28,000 miles away.Second,Earth is unique in having water most planets are awash.Third,Photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power, its way of making use of all that light energy that comes from the Sun. Fourth,Modern solar cells do this with semiconductors, and the harvest consists of electrons, which flow after they are excited by photons of light.Inconcousloin this is what I learned from after reading the article.
thank you
***You're welcome!

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-did-plants-develop-photosynthesis-21138044/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good.

First,Apollo mission is also called the blue marble because it shows how Earth is about 28,000 miles away.

***Make sure to hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: First, Apollo mission is also known as "blue marble" because it shows Earth, from 28,000 miles away, as a blue sphere.

Second,Earth is unique in having water most planets are awash.

***Again, make sure to hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: Second, Earth is unique for having water because most planets don't.

Third,Photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power, its way of making use of all that light energy that comes from the Sun.

***Again, make sure to hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: Third, photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power; it makes use of the light energy that comes from the Sun.

Fourth,Modern solar cells do this with semiconductors, and the harvest consists of electrons, which flow after they are excited by photons of light.

***This sentence is too similar to the one in the article. Let's try: Fourth, modern solar cells practice photosynthesis with semiconductors, and the harvest is made up of electrons.

Inconcousloin this is what I learned from after reading the article.

***Conclusion is spelled incorrectly, and we also need to separate 'in' and 'conclusion'. Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, Apollo mission is also known as "blue marble" because it shows Earth, from 28,000 miles away, as a blue sphere. Second, Earth is unique for having water because most planets don't. Third, Photosynthesis is nature’s take on solar power; it makes use of the light energy that comes from the Sun. Fourth, modern solar cells practice photosynthesis with semiconductors and the harvest is made up of electrons. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First,neanderthals and modern humans existed in Europe between 44,000 and 30,000 years ago.Second,when the plaque occured, they found starch grains from wild grass, legumes, roots, tubers, palm dates and other plants they have not identified yet. Third,in the Neanderthals they cooked plants to see their edibility and nutritional quality.Forth,Piperno has been honing a method to study the diets of early humans from the food particles.In conclusion, this is what I learned from after reading the article.
Thank you
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/neanderthals-noshed-on-plantsand-cooked-28390214/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good.

First,neanderthals and modern humans existed in Europe between 44,000 and 30,000 years ago.

***Spacing issue; you must hit the space bar as you're about to start another sentence. Edited sentence: First, Neanderthals and modern humans existed in Europe between 44,000 and 30,000 years ago.

Second,when the plaque occured, they found starch grains from wild grass, legumes, roots, tubers, palm dates and other plants they have not identified yet.

***Edited sentence: Second, in the plaque they found starch grains, legumes, roots, tubers, palm dates, and other plants.

Third,in the Neanderthals they cooked plants to see their edibility and nutritional quality.

***Let's say: Third, the Neanderthals cooked plants to determine their edibility and nutritional quality.

Forth,Piperno has been honing a method to study the diets of early humans from the food particles.

***Spacing issues: you need a space between the period of the last sentence and the beginning of this sentence. You also need a space between the comma and the word that comes after it. Edited sentence: Forth, Piperno has been honing a method to study the diets of early humans from the food particles.

In conclusion, this is what I learned from after reading the article.

***Good.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, Neanderthals and modern humans existed in Europe between 44,000 and 30,000 years ago. Second, in the plaque they found starch grains, legumes, roots, tubers, palm dates, and other plants. Third, the Neanderthals cooked plants to determine their edibility and nutritional quality. Forth, Piperno has been honing a method to study the diets of early humans from the food particles.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First, Short-beaked dolphins are called common dolphins they are the most common cetacean species in warm Atlantic waters.Second, Living in the sea requires a lot of energy dolphins require high-energy fuel to keep going.Third, Boa dragonfish are much more abundant, the dolphins tended not to eat these low-calorie meals.In my opinion I believe that dolphins are hard working creatures.In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.
Thank you
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/dolphins-are-efficient-eaters-30664876/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good.

First, Short-beaked dolphins are called common dolphins they are the most common cetacean species in warm Atlantic waters.

***Hit the space bar before starting another sentence! Edited sentence: First, short-beaked dolphins are called common dolphins as they are the most common cetacean species in warm Atlantic waters.

Second, Living in the sea requires a lot of energy dolphins require high-energy fuel to keep going.

***Again, make sure to hit the space bar before starting another sentence. The 'l' in 'living' doesn't need to be capitalized! Edited sentence: Second, living in the sea requires a lot of energy.

Third, Boa dragonfish are much more abundant, the dolphins tended not to eat these low-calorie meals.

***Edited sentence: Third, although boa dragonfish are very abundant, dolphins tended not to eat these low-calorie meals.

In my opinion I believe that dolphins are hard working creatures.

***In formal writing, we want to avoid phrases like 'I think', 'I believe', or 'In my opinion'; just say what you feel, it'll make your argument a lot stronger. Edited sentence: Dolphins are hard-working creatures.

In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

***Good. My last comment is that you've got to keep an eye out for the spacing of your sentences. Whenever you conclude one sentence and are about to start another, you've got to hit the space bar. With the following example, I'll show you right from wrong. Wrong: I walked my dog on Monday.My dog is so cute. Right: I walked my dog on Monday. My dog is so cute.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, short-beaked dolphins are called common dolphins as they are the most common cetacean species in warm Atlantic waters. Second, living in the sea requires a lot of energy. Third, although boa dragonfish are very abundant, dolphins tended not to eat these low-calorie meals. Dolphins are hard-working creatures. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.First, food and technology aren’t supposed to go together but food companies see if there is a possibility that it can. Second, food companies locally raise food grown organically, and completely unprocessed. Third, to reduce sodium and added sugars and eliminate trans fats from many private-label foods.In addition time reduce sugar and salt levels stop consuming trans fat.In conclusion ,this is what I learned after reading the article.
Thank you.
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/can-technology-save-breakfast-88382438/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

First, food and technology aren’t supposed to go together but food companies see if there is a possibility that it can.

***Again, make sure to hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: First, food and technology don't usually go together, but food companies want to see if they can.

Second, food companies locally raise food grown organically, and completely unprocessed.

***Edited sentence: Second, food companies grow food organically and unprocessed.

Third, to reduce sodium and added sugars and eliminate trans fats from many private-label foods.

***Let's say: Third, food companies want to reduce sodium and added sugars, and eliminate trans-fat from many private-label foods.

In addition time reduce sugar and salt levels stop consuming trans fat.

***Let's make sure we add a comma after 'In addition'. Edited sentence: In addition, it's time to reduce sugar and salt levels and stop consuming trans-fat.

In conclusion ,this is what I learned after reading the article.

***You've got a space before your comma, so let's watch out for that. Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, food and technology don't usually go together, but food companies want to see if they can. Second, food companies grow food organically and unprocessed. Third, food companies want to reduce sodium and added sugars, and eliminate trans-fat from many private-label foods. In addition, it's time to reduce sugar and salt levels and stop consuming trans-fat. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know rocks have multiple different sizes and ages?First, tens of miles beneath the surface of the earth, garnets are more than gems.Second,the oldest rock, was most active around 20 million years ago.Third, Catlos has multiple different rock collections. She has sampled and observed multiple different rocks. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Thank you
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/rock-of-ages-168687715/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good.

Did you know rocks have multiple different sizes and ages?

***Small edit: Did you know that rocks come in different sizes and ages?

First, tens of miles beneath the surface of the earth, garnets are more than gems.

***Let's make sure you hit the space bar before starting another sentence (notice how the word 'First' is attached to the period of the last sentence). Edited sentence: First, there are more than just gems beneath the surface of the earth.

Second,the oldest rock, was most active around 20 million years ago.

***Again, make sure you hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: Second, the oldest rock was most active around 20 million years ago.

Third, Catlos has multiple different rock collections.

***Edited sentence: Third, Catlos has multiple different rock collections.

She has sampled and observed multiple different rocks.

***Good.

In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

***Good!

This article is about how inhaling pure oxygen can make your brain younger. One fact is that although biologists have discovered how to reprogram the processes of aging in yeast cells, they have yet to fully understand aging in the human brain. Second, neuroscientists are trying to turn back the biological clock with just oxygen. In addition, hyperbaric oxygen therapy involves inhaling pure oxygen. Lastly, if you breathe pure oxygen, the blood flow in your brain will increase. In conclusion, inhaling pure oxygen makes your brain younger.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know that rocks come in different sizes and ages? First, there are more than just gems beneath the surface of the earth. Second, the oldest rock was most active around 20 million years ago. Third, Catlos has multiple different rock collections. She has sampled and observed multiple different rocks. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I learned multiple things after reading this article. First , beetles have various colors sizes weights and different hairs. Second, Not all insects are bugs some of them can just be called as animals.Thirdly, bedbugs aren’t an insect they will be called as a night creature.Lasty, Bedbugs torments Celts to suspect they were being assaulted by supernatural forces. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/bugs-brains-and-trivia-94523993/

The Edits

I learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Small edit: I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

First , beetles have various colors sizes weights and different hairs.

***You've got an extra space before and after your comma. Edited sentence: First, beetles come in various colors, sizes, weights, and hairs.

Second, Not all insects are bugs some of them can just be called as animals.

***The 'n' in 'not' doesn't need to be capitalized. Edited sentence: Second, not all insects are considered bugs; in fact, some of them can just be named as animals.

Thirdly, bedbugs aren’t an insect they will be called as a night creature.

***Make sure you hit the space before starting another sentence. Edited sentence: Third, bedbugs are called night creatures.

Lasty, Bedbugs torments Celts to suspect they were being assaulted by supernatural forces.

***Lastly is spelled incorrectly and 'bedbugs' doesn't need to be capitalized! Edited sentence: Lastly, when Celts were bit by bedbugs, they suspected they were being attacked by supernatural forces.

In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

***Good!

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, beetles come in various colors, sizes, weights, and hairs. Second, not all insects are considered bugs; in fact, some of them can just be named as animals. Third, bedbugs are called night creatures. Lastly, when Celts were bit by bedbugs, they suspected they were being attacked by supernatural forces. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know thats paper clothes are a thing? First,the German word ersatz, for “substitute” or “replacement,” was introduced to the everyday American vocabulary;this means that there was a new vocabulary in the english dictionary. Second,during the time January 1917, the New York Sun noted that the Germans had devised paper-based threads for making “sacks and bags, girdles etc. Third,the inventors have discovered a way to give the ‘paper cloth’ great resistance to dampness. Lastly,The advantage of paper-based products is that there produces is inexpensively. In conclusion,this is what i learned after reading this article.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/when-paper-clothing-was-perfect-fit-180969159/
i appreciate it you are really helping me
***You're so welcome :)!


The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

Did you know thats paper clothes are a thing?

***Good. It should be 'that' instead of 'thats'.

First,the German word ersatz, for “substitute” or “replacement,” was introduced to the everyday American vocabulary;this means that there was a new vocabulary in the english dictionary.

***You always need a space between a comma and the word that comes after it. Since you're referencing a German word, let's put that in quotation marks: "ersatz". Edited sentence: First, the German word "ersatz"–which means “substitute” or “replacement"–was introduced to the everyday American vocabulary.

Second,during the time January 1917, the New York Sun noted that the Germans had devised paper-based threads for making “sacks and bags, girdles etc.

***Edited sentence: Second, during January 1917, the New York Sun noted that the Germans had devised paper-based threads for making “sacks, bags, and girdles."

Third,the inventors have discovered a way to give the ‘paper cloth’ great resistance to dampness.

***Edited sentence: Third, the inventors have discovered a way to give the ‘paper cloth’ great resistance to dampness. (All I added was a space between 'Third,' and 'the'. You have to watch out for this!).

Lastly,The advantage of paper-based products is that there produces is inexpensively.

***Let's try: Lastly, the advantage of paper-based products is the production of them is very inexpensive.

In conclusion,this is what i learned after reading this article.

***Small edits: In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading this article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know that paper clothes are a thing? First, the German word "ersatz"–which means “substitute” or “replacement"–was introduced to the everyday American vocabulary. Second, during January 1917, the New York Sun noted that the Germans had devised paper-based threads for making “sacks, bags, and girdles." Third, the inventors have discovered a way to give the ‘paper cloth’ great resistance to dampness. Lastly, the advantage of paper-based products is the production of them is very inexpensive. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading this article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Multiple companies locally raised food grown organically, completely unprocessed, delivered by hand or mule-driven cart; which means they organically grown food from scratch.Second,food companies care about—whole grains, fiber, and vitamins, minerals and antioxidants—convenient and accessible. Third, Salt levels can be high in Multiple cereals. Fourth, General Mills, is the world’s sixth-largest food company .Inconclusion this is what I learned in the article.

And thank you
***You're welcome!


The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

Multiple companies locally raised food grown organically, completely unprocessed, delivered by hand or mule-driven cart; which means they organically grown food from scratch.

***Let's delete the last half of this sentence as it's a bit repetitive. Edited sentence: Multiple companies grow food organically, meaning it's completely unprocessed; after it's grown, it is delivered by hand or by a mule-driven cart.

Second,food companies care about—whole grains, fiber, and vitamins, minerals and antioxidants—convenient and accessible.

***Make sure you hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Also, make sure to hit the space bar after you use a comma! Edited sentence: Second, food companies care that your daily intake of whole grains, fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants are convenient and accessible.

Third, Salt levels can be high in Multiple cereals.

***See with this sentence, it looks like you may have hit the space bar twice before writing; be careful with that, too! 'Salt' and 'multiple' don't need to be capitalized. Edited sentence: Third, salt levels can be high in many cereals.

Fourth, General Mills, is the world’s sixth-largest food company.

***You don't need a comma after 'General Mills'.

Inconclusion this is what I learned in the article.

***Make sure you hit the space bar before starting another sentence. Separate 'In' and 'conclusion' and makes sure you put a comma after 'conclusion'. Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Multiple companies grow food organically, meaning it's completely unprocessed; after it's grown, it is delivered by hand or by a mule-driven cart. Second, food companies care that your daily intake of whole grains, fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants are convenient and accessible. Third, salt levels can be high in many cereals. Fourth, General Mills is the world’s sixth-largest food company. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/costa-rica-turtles-and-birds-37400679/

Original Article

I have learned multiple things from the article.First,multiple tourists travel to Costa Rica to enjoy the tropical climate and Arenal volcano, but the real attraction is the country's wildlife.Second, Tortuguero is also one of the hotspots for bird-watching.Third, bird watching can be a very peaceful when you are stressed. Fourth, It’s spectacular if you every get the chance to witnessing the birth of turtles or birds. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the text.

The Edits

I have learned multiple things from the article.

***Small edit; change 'the article' to 'this article' (it's more specific because 'the article' could be any article!)

First,multiple tourists travel to Costa Rica to enjoy the tropical climate and Arenal volcano, but the real attraction is the country's wildlife.

***Make sure you hit the space bar before you start another sentence, and you'll need one after you place a comma. Edited sentence: First, multiple tourists travel to Costa Rica to enjoy the tropical climate and Arenal volcano, but the real attraction is the country's wildlife.

Second, Tortuguero is also one of the hotspots for bird-watching.

***Again, hit the space bar before you start another sentence. Edited sentence: Second, Tortuguero is one of the hotspots for bird-watching.

Third, bird watching can be a very peaceful when you are stressed.

***Again, hit the space bar before you start another sentence. This sentence is perfect other than that!

Fourth, It’s spectacular if you every get the chance to witnessing the birth of turtles or birds.

***The 'i' in 'it's' doesn't need to be capitalized. Edited sentence: Fourth, it's spectacular if you ever get the chance to witness the birth of turtles or birds.

In conclusion, this is what I learned from the text.

***Good!

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things from this article. First, multiple tourists travel to Costa Rica to enjoy the tropical climate and Arenal volcano, but the real attraction is the country's wildlife. Second, Tortuguero is one of the hotspots for bird-watching. Third, bird watching can be a very peaceful when you are stressed. Fourth, it's spectacular if you ever get the chance to witness the birth of turtles or birds. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the text.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/are-baked-mushroom-shoes-future-fashion-180969152/

Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, Over the past three years, the fashion industry has stared using biodegradable and renewable fabrics.Second, Somebody named Jillian Silverman, recently crafted a prototype shoe that combines mushrooms, agriculture waste and fabric scraps!Thats very unexpected. Third, Jillian Silverman her reason for this was there was a good chance it could be grown into fashion products to replace other unsustainable materials in the fashion industry.Lastly, Mycelium naturally binds together materials.This is what I learned from the article.
Thank you
***You're very welcome! :)

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

First, Over the past three years, the fashion industry has stared using biodegradable and renewable fabrics.

***The 'o' in 'over' doesn't need to be capitalized. I think you meant to use the word 'started' instead of 'stared'; that's what makes sense in this context, at least :). Edited sentence: First, over the past three years, the fashion industry has started using biodegradable and renewable fabrics.

Second, Somebody named Jillian Silverman, recently crafted a prototype shoe that combines mushrooms, agriculture waste and fabric scraps!

***Let's make sure we hit the space bar before we start another sentence. Edited sentence: Second, a woman named Jillian Silverman recently crafted a prototype shoe that is made from mushrooms, agricultural waste, and fabric scraps!

Thats very unexpected.

***I think we can delete this sentence. It's filler information/commentary.

Third, Jillian Silverman her reason for this was there was a good chance it could be grown into fashion products to replace other unsustainable materials in the fashion industry.

***Edited sentence: Third, Jillian Silverman said her reason for this is that there is a good chance it could be grown into fashion products to replace other unsustainable materials in the fashion industry.

Lastly, Mycelium naturally binds together materials.

***Good, but remember to hit the space bar before starting another sentence (see how the word 'Lastly' is attached to the period from the last sentence; it shouldn't look like that.

This is what I learned from the article.

***Let's say: In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, over the past three years, the fashion industry has started using biodegradable and renewable fabrics. Second, a woman named Jillian Silverman recently crafted a prototype shoe that is made from mushrooms, agricultural waste, and fabric scraps! Third, Jillian Silverman said her reason for this is that there is a good chance it could be grown into fashion products to replace other unsustainable materials in the fashion industry. Lastly, Mycelium naturally binds together materials. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/burn-calories-just-wearing-new-sports-gear-180957016/

Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, your gym clothes will help you get a better burn but, this new brand called Physiclo does better.Second, Yao has designed the pants with strategically placed stretchy bands to create resistance for certain muscle groups.These pants are beneficial.Third, these special resistance bands can help you in your in physical therapy.Fourth of all these bands stems are convenient, ergonomic form.”This is what I learned from the article.

And by the way thank youuuu for helping meeeeeeee Kelli Hoeppner
***You're so welcome! You're doing great! :)


The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good.

First, your gym clothes will help you get a better burn but, this new brand called Physiclo does better.

***Small edits: First, your gym clothes help you burn during a workout, but a new athletic brand–called Physiclo–does it better.
Second, Yao has designed the pants with strategically placed stretchy bands to create resistance for certain muscle groups.

***Good. But let's make sure you hit the space bar before you start another sentence!

These pants are beneficial.

***Let's delete this sentence as it functions as filler information/commentary.

Third, these special resistance bands can help you in your in physical therapy.

***Again, hit the space bar before you start another sentence. Edited sentence: Third, these special resistance bands can help with physical therapy.

Fourth of all these bands stems are convenient, ergonomic form.”

***Again, hit the space bar before you start another sentence. You'll also need a comma after your transition word (Fourth,). I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say here, so, I'm going to edit this sentence as: Fourth, these bands are convenient and designed for efficiency.

This is what I learned from the article.

***Good.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, your gym clothes help you burn during a workout, but a new athletic brand–called Physiclo–does it better. Second, Yao has designed the pants with strategically placed stretchy bands to create resistance for certain muscle groups. Third, these special resistance bands can help with physical therapy. Fourth, these bands are convenient and designed for efficiency. This is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know that chocolate comes from Cocoa trees with chocolate fruit pods? First,I have learned that in chocolate industries for example the North Pole of Cacao it’s the coldest place in the world where cacao can be grown! It is very unexpected! Second, Cacaocan be grown in humid tropical climates 10 degrees anywhere in the world.Some temperatures range from 65 to 90 Fahrenheit. Another thing I have learned is cacao farming isn’t exactly a tradition of Hawaiian culture. It was introduced to them.Lastly, some manufacturers grow their cacao on other farms throughout the island of Hawaii. In Conclusion this is what I learned after reading the article.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/hawaii-north-pole-cacao-chocolate-tours-180967951/

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

Did you know that chocolate comes from Cocoa trees with chocolate fruit pods?

***Cocoa doesn't need to be capitalized. This is good otherwise!

First,I have learned that in chocolate industries for example the North Pole of Cacao it’s the coldest place in the world where cacao can be grown!

***Edited sentence: First, I have learned that the North Pole of Cacao is the coldest place in the world where cacao can be grown!

It is very unexpected!

***Good!

Second, Cacaocan be grown in humid tropical climates 10 degrees anywhere in the world.

***Separate 'Cacao' and 'can'. Edited sentence: Second, Cacao can be grown in humid tropical climates 10 degrees anywhere in the world.

Some temperatures range from 65 to 90 Fahrenheit.

***Let's attach this sentence to the last one by using a semicolon: Second, Cacao can be grown in humid tropical climates 10 degrees anywhere in the world; some temperatures range from 65 to 90 Fahrenheit.

Another thing I have learned is cacao farming isn’t exactly a tradition of Hawaiian culture.

***Small edit: Another thing I have learned is that cacao farming isn't exactly a tradition of Hawaiian culture. You tend to put extra spaces in your sentences so watch out for that as you type!

It was introduced to them.

***Again, with a small sentence like this, we can attach it to the last sentence by using either a comma or semicolon: Another thing I have learned is that cacao farming isn't exactly a tradition of Hawaiian culture; it was introduced to them.

Lastly, some manufacturers grow their cacao on other farms throughout the island of Hawaii.

***Good! Make sure to hit the space bar before you start another sentence (notice how the word 'Lastly' is attached to the period of your last sentence).

In Conclusion this is what I learned after reading the article.

***Conclusion doesn't need to be capitalized and we'll need a comma after that word. Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Did you know that chocolate comes from cocoa trees with chocolate fruit pods? First, I have learned that the North Pole of Cacao is the coldest place in the world where cacao can be grown! It is very unexpected! Second, Cacao can be grown in humid tropical climates 10 degrees anywhere in the world; some temperatures range from 65 to 90 Fahrenheit Another thing I have learned is that cacao farming isn't exactly a tradition of Hawaiian culture; it was introduced to them. Lastly, some manufacturers grow their cacao on other farms throughout the island of Hawaii. In conclusion, this is what I learned after reading the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Firstly, the growth of spurting fish are swimming in pens in many states. For example Massachusetts. Secondly GM foods is what this planet needs.What I mean by this is with the world’s population of 7 billion expected to climb at least another 2 billion by mid century, using science specifically DNA manipulation it make crops harder to grow, More Productive and less vulnerable to pets and weed killing.Lastly , Earlier this month scientists have discovered that they have created calf whose milk can be druken by lactose and tolerent.Which is pretty cool.This is what i learned from the article.

The Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article.

***Good!

Firstly, the growth of spurting fish are swimming in pens in many states.

***Change 'Firstly' to just 'First'. This sentence doesn't make all that much sense to me. Let's try: First, spurting fish are growing in many states, such as Massachusetts. (I combined this sentence with the next one).

Secondly GM foods is what this planet needs.

***Change 'Secondly' to just 'Second' and we'll need a comma after that. Edited sentence: Second, GM foods is what the planet needs.

What I mean by this is with the world’s population of 7 billion expected to climb at least another 2 billion by mid century, using science specifically DNA manipulation it make crops harder to grow, More Productive and less vulnerable to pets and weed killing.

***There is too much going on this sentence. So, I'm gonna shorten it in the best way that I can. Also please make sure to hit the space bar before you start another sentence! Edited sentence: To clarify, with the world population expected to climb at least another 2 billion, DNA manipulation makes it harder for crops to grow.

Lastly , Earlier this month scientists have discovered that they have created calf whose milk can be druken by lactose and tolerent.

***'Earlier' shouldn't be capitalized, used 'drank' instead of 'drunken', and it's 'lactose intolerant'. Edited sentence: Lastly, scientists have created a calf whose milk can be drank by those who are lactose intolerant.

Which is pretty cool.

***Let's just delete this sentence.

This is what i learned from the article.

***Capitalize 'I'.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, spurting fish are growing in many states, such as Massachusetts. Second, GM foods is what the planet needs. To clarify, with the world population expected to climb at least another 2 billion, DNA manipulation makes it harder for crops to grow. Lastly, scientists have created a calf whose milk can be drank by those who are lactose intolerant. This is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple things in the article. Firstly ,processed cheese had solved multiple problems of the dairy products ,going bad.People had eaten pasta and cheese together for hundreds of years.So that where it started it with box Mac and cheese. Secondly, on the internet if you ever search up macaroni and cheese there are over 5 MILLON HITS. that shows that people really do like there Mac and cheese.In addition boxed macaroni and cheese was one outcome of the pasta and cheese but in the box it’s preservers longer. In conclusion this is what I learned from the article.

The Edits

I have learned multiple things in the article.

***Small edit: I have learned multiple things from this article.

Firstly ,processed cheese had solved multiple problems of the dairy products ,going bad.

***Let's change 'Firstly' to just 'First'. Also noticed how your comma is attached to the word that comes after your transition word (Firstly); the comma needs to be attached to the transition word. You have this same issue at the end of your sentence. Edited sentence: First, processed cheese has solved multiple problems, such as the rapid pace at which dairy products go bad.

People had eaten pasta and cheese together for hundreds of years.

***It should be 'have' and not 'had' because people still eat pasta and cheese together, right? We want to avoid past tense. Edited sentence: People have eaten pasta and cheese together for hundreds of years.

So that where it started it with box Mac and cheese.

***I want to combine this sentence with the last one: People have eaten pasta and cheese together for hundreds of years; which is how box mac and cheese originated.

Secondly, on the internet if you ever search up macaroni and cheese there are over 5 MILLON HITS. that shows that people really do like there Mac and cheese.

***There are a few mistakes in this sentence. Let's change 'Secondly' to just 'Second'. You also have a period right in the middle of your sentence that shouldn't be there. How does this sound: Second, if search macaroni and cheese on the internet, you will find that it is extremely popular and that many people really enjoy it. (I took out '5 MILLION HITS because it sounds as if you're talking about a song or video).

In addition boxed macaroni and cheese was one outcome of the pasta and cheese but in the box it’s preservers longer.

***Make sure that you hit the space bar when you start another sentence; we don't want the beginning of our next sentence to be attached to our last. Edited sentence: In addition, compared to regular pasta and cheese, box mac and cheese is preserved much longer.

In conclusion this is what I learned from the article.

***Good, you're just missing a comma after 'In conclusion'.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things from this article. First, processed cheese has solved multiple problems, such as the rapid pace at which dairy products go bad. People have eaten pasta and cheese together for hundreds of years; which is how box mac and cheese originated. Second, if search macaroni and cheese on the internet, you will find that it is extremely popular and that many people really enjoy it. In addition, compared to regular pasta and cheese, box mac and cheese is preserved much longer. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple things in the article. Firstly, I have learned some athletes don't drink sports drink they drink cow milk. Cow milk outperforms commercial drinks by 13 to 17%. Secondly, most grocery store milks come from Holstein cows that is higher in protein than regular commercial drinks. Thirdly, I learned in order to keep milk fresh it is to be kept in the refrigerator over 200°. In conclusion this is white I learned from the article provided below.



https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/chocolate-milk-next-sports-drink-180956293/


The Edits

I have learned multiple things in the article.

***Edited sentence: I have learned multiple things after reading this article. Sounds a little better :).

Firstly, I have learned some athletes don't drink sports drink they drink cow milk.

***Let's change 'Firstly' to just 'First'. In order to make this sentence make sense/sound better, we're going to need a semi colon. Edited sentence: First, I have learned that some athletes don't drink sports drinks; they drink cow milk.

Cow milk outperforms commercial drinks by 13 to 17%.

***You need a percentage sign after the 13 too! Edited sentence: Cow milk outperforms commercial drinks by 13% to 17%.

Secondly, most grocery store milks come from Holstein cows that is higher in protein than regular commercial drinks.

***Change 'Secondly' to 'Second'. There's a lot going on in this sentence. Let's fix it by changing a few things and adding in some punctuation. How does this sound: Second, most grocery milk comes from Holstein cows; a cow that a holds a higher percentage in protein than commercial drinks.

Thirdly, I learned in order to keep milk fresh it is to be kept in the refrigerator over 200°.

***Change 'Thirdly' to just 'Lastly'. Edited sentence: Lastly, I learned that in order to keep milk fresh it must be kept in the refrigerator with a temperature of over 200°.

In conclusion this is white I learned from the article provided below.

***I'm assuming you mean 'what' instead of 'white', so let's fix that. There's also an extra space between this word and the rest of your sentence, so be careful with that! Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article provided below.

Final Edits

I have learned multiple things after reading this article. First, I have learned that some athletes don't drink sports drinks; they drink cow milk. Cow milk outperforms commercial drinks by 13% to 17%. Second, most grocery milk comes from Holstein cows; a cow that a holds a higher percentage in protein than commercial drinks. Lastly, I learned that in order to keep milk fresh it must be kept in the refrigerator with a temperature of over 200°. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article provided below.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned many things about snakes and how deadly they can be. One of the first things I have learned is venom is so Potent it can kill a person in 30 minutes! Secondly, a type of snake called Burmese python can mostly downed a rat. This type of snake is probably can be the most longest snake in the world. Lastly, the green anaconda is the biggest of the snakes and perhaps the bulkiest of all snakes. These snakes can give birth to 20 inch babies. In conclusion this passage contain multiple information which is quite interesting. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/snakes-the-good-the-bad-and-the-deadly-58395991/

The Edits

I have learned many things about snakes and how deadly they can be.

***Good!

One of the first things I have learned is venom is so Potent it can kill a person in 30 minutes!

***Good! But potent doesn't need to be capitalized.

Secondly, a type of snake called Burmese python can mostly downed a rat.

***Change 'Secondly' to just 'Second'. The last half of the sentence doesn't make much sense. Let's try: Second, a type of snake–known as a Burmese python–can down the majority of a rat's body.

This type of snake is probably can be the most longest snake in the world.

***Edited sentence: This type of snake is probably the longest snake in the world.

Lastly, the green anaconda is the biggest of the snakes and perhaps the bulkiest of all snakes.

***Delete 'of all snakes' at the end of the sentence and leave it as: Lastly, the green anaconda is the biggest of the snakes and perhaps the bulkiest.

These snakes can give birth to 20 inch babies.

***Good!

In conclusion this passage contain multiple information which is quite interesting.

***Edited sentence: In conclusion, this passage contains interesting information about snakes.

Final Edits

I have learned many things about snakes and how deadly they can be. One of the first things I have learned is that venom is so potent it can kill a person in 30 minutes! Second, a type of snake–known as a Burmese python–can down the majority of a rat's body. This type of snake is probably the longest snake in the world. Lastly, the green anaconda is the biggest of the snakes and perhaps the bulkiest. These snakes can give birth to 20 inch babies. In conclusion, this passage contains interesting information about snakes.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Original Article

I have learned many things about coral and coral reefs.One of the first things i learned is coral reefs are the most unique and diverse part of the whole ecosystem.One quarter of the whole oceans depend of the reefs.Secondly i learned coral reefs are very important to us human beings.Without coral reefs the state would not have 30 billion U.S dollars.In addition it provides food protection of shorelines,jobs based of shorelines and even medicine.Lastly i learned that us as human beings pose as the greatest threat to oceans/coral reefs.We do this by destructive fishing,pollution,warming,and changing ocean ocean chemisty.in conclusion this is what i learned from smithsonian.org

The Edits

I have learned many things about coral and coral reefs.

***Good.

One of the first things i learned is coral reefs are the most unique and diverse part of the whole ecosystem.

***Awesome sentence overall, but there are a few minor mistakes. The first being that before you start another sentence, you have hit the space bar. Notice how your first and second sentence are practically glued together. The second and last is to make sure you capitalize 'i'. That is very important grammatical rule!

One quarter of the whole oceans depend of the reefs.

***Let's omit the word 'whole' and change the word 'of' to 'on'.

Secondly i learned coral reefs are very important to us human beings.

***Again, you need to hit the space bar before you start this next sentence. Capitalize 'i'. You'll also need a comma after 'Secondly'.

Without coral reefs the state would not have 30 billion U.S dollars.

***Space before you start this sentence. You probably could explain this idea a little better. Let's try: The United States greatly profits off of coral reefs; 30 billion dollars worth.

In addition it provides food ,protection of shorelines,jobs based of shorelines and even medicine.

***Space before you start this sentence. You'll need a comma after 'In addition'. The commas in your sentence need a little shaping up. It should look like: In addition, it provides food, protection of shorelines, job based off shorelines, and even medicine. With 'job based of shorelines', I changed the 'of' to 'off' because it didn't make sense with what you were saying.

Lastly i learned that us as human beings pose as the greatest threat to oceans/coral reefs.

***Space before you start this sentence. Capitalize 'i' and add a comma after 'Lastly'.

We do this by destructive fishing,pollution,warming,and changing ocean ocean chemisty.

***Space before you start this sentence. You also need space between those commas in the sentence. It should look like: fishing, pollution, warming, and changing ocean chemistry. You also repeated the word ocean twice, so I took that out, and the word chemistry was misspelled.

in conclusion this is what i learned from smithsonian.org

***Space before you start this sentence. You'll need a comma after 'In conclusion'. Capitalize the first letter of the first word in the sentence (in this case, the word 'in' should be 'In'. Capitalize 'i'. You also need a period at the end of your sentence.

Final Edits

I have learned many things about coral and coral reefs. One of the first things I learned is that coral reefs are the most unique and diverse part of the whole ecosystem. One quarter of the oceans depend on the reefs. Secondly, I learned that coral reefs are very important to us human beings. The United States greatly profits off of coral reefs; 30 billion dollars worth. In addition, it provides food, protection of shorelines, jobs based off shorelines, and even medicine. Lastly, I learned that us as human beings pose as the greatest threat to oceans/coral reefs. We do this by destructive fishing, pollution, warming, and changing ocean chemistry. In conclusion, this is what I learned from smithsonian.org.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Original Article

I have learned multiple information and facts about the article written by Daniela hall. One of the first things I found out is penguins pacifically tuxedo birds have strong identities and interesting traits. For instance, these unique birds are clumsy, comical on lands and have high standards below the ocean. Secondly, there are several sizes in various species of penguins, like the largest/tallest penguin is approximately 4‘5“. In addition, penguins are birds of the ocean. They spent about 75% of their lives in the water! Swimming is what penguins Excel at. In conclusion this is what I have learned from the website being provided below.

https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/invertebrates/corals-and-coral-reefs


The Edits

I have learned multiple information and facts about the article written by Daniela hall.

***Let's delete and change the phrase "multiple information" and shorten the sentence a bit. You also need to capitalize Daniela's last name. Edited sentence: I have learned several facts from the article by Daniela Hall.

One of the first things I found out is penguins pacifically tuxedo birds have strong identities and interesting traits.

***There's a few things I want to change about this sentence. Instead of saying, "One of the first things I found out" let's say "One of the first things I learned." Let's make the other half of the sentence easier to understand; to do so, I'll be adding hyphens. Also, it would "specifically" instead of "pacifically" (I get it though, the words sound very similar!). Altogether it might look like this: One of the first things I learned is that penguins–specifically tuxedo birds–have strong identities and interesting traits.

For instance, these unique birds are clumsy, comical on lands and have high standards below the ocean.

***Pretty good! A few small corrections: 'lands' should just be 'land'. You will also need a comma after 'land'.

Secondly, there are several sizes in various species of penguins, like the largest/tallest penguin is approximately 4‘5“.

***Let's try deleting the word 'like'. This word can be used in writing, but it sounds slang-like in this particular instance. Edited sentence: Secondly, there are several sizes in various species of penguins; the largest and tallest penguin is approximately 4‘5“.

In addition, penguins are birds of the ocean.

***Good!

They spent about 75% of their lives in the water!

***We need the present tense of 'spent', so it would be 'spend'.

Swimming is what penguins Excel at.

***Excel doesn't need to be capitalized!

In conclusion this is what I have learned from the website being provided below.

***You need a comma after 'In conclusion' and let's delete the word 'being'. I also want to point out that the link you provided takes me to the article you wrote about in the last paragraph.

Final Edits

I have learned several facts from the article by Daniela Hall. One of the first things I learned is that penguins–specifically tuxedo birds–have strong identities and interesting traits. For instance, these unique birds are clumsy, comical on land, and have high standards below the ocean. Secondly, there are several sizes in various species of penguins; the largest and tallest penguin is approximately 4‘5“. In addition, penguins are birds of the ocean. They spent about 75% of their lives in the water! Swimming is what penguins excel at. In conclusion, this is what I have learned from the website provided below.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner




There is many love behind art.everyone perceives art in different ways.the photo “ain’t that shame” had figures and objects are carved into the wood which is not very common its a unique photo. Charles Gillam Sr., American had created the painting.”STEINWAY”is a big manufacture company for making pianos.So he has been inspired to draw it in a painting.in conclusion this is what I learned from the article.this painting is in a museum named Smithsonian National Museum Source: https://www.si.edu/object/aint-shame:nmaahc_2013.207.3


There is many love behind art.

*** “many” should be changed to “much.”

Edited sentence: There is much love behind art.

everyone perceives art in different ways.

*** Capitalize the first word in this sentence.

Edited sentence: Everyone perceives art in different ways.

the photo “ain’t that shame” had figures and objects are carved into the wood which is not very common its a unique photo.

*** The subject is a painting, not a photo. Make sure you correctly write the title of the painting — “Ain’t That a Shame.” The word “are” is not needed. “its” should be written as “it’s” meaning “it is.” This reads like a run-on sentence so I would split this sentence into two. Capitalize the first word in this sentence.

Edited sentence: The painting, “Ain’t That a Shame,” had figures and objects carved into the wood which is not very common. It’s a unique painting.

Charles Gillam Sr., American had created the painting.

*** Charles Gillam Sr. is American but “American” is not part of his name. “had” is not needed.

Edited sentence: Charles Gillam Sr. created the painting.

”STEINWAY”is a big manufacture company for making pianos.

*** “Steinway” does not need to have all letters capitalized. “manufacture” should be written as “manufacturing.” Explain why this information is connected to the painting. Is this information in the source article?

Edited sentence: “Steinway,” the name written on the piano in the painting, is a big manufacturing company that makes pianos.

So he has been inspired to draw it in a painting.

*** Identify “he.” The phrase “has been” suggests that Charles Gillam Sr. is still working on this painting, but this painting is already finished. “was” would be the correct word to use instead of “has been.” Where is this information from?

Edited sentence: So Charles Gillam Sr. was inspired to draw it in a painting.

in conclusion this is what I learned from the article.

*** Avoid using first person point of view (“I”) and use third person point of view instead. Additionally, this is not an article, but a museum description of a painting. Capitalize the first word in this sentence.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, this is what can be learned from the painting.

this painting is in a museum named Smithsonian National Museum

*** Capitalize the first word in this sentence. Add a period at the end of this sentence. Put the full name of the museum.

Edited sentence: This painting is in a museum called the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture.

*** Please remember to capitalize the first word in each sentence and add a period at the end of each sentence. Avoid first person point of view (“I”) and use third person point of view instead. Third person point of view focuses on how this information relates to the audience. Additionally, the article summary needs a title and six sentences. Check the source to make sure that the information you include in your summary is correct.

Fully edited article:

There is much love behind art. Everyone perceives art in different ways. The painting, “Ain’t That a Shame,” had figures and objects carved into the wood which is not very common. It’s a unique painting. Charles Gillam Sr. created the painting. “Steinway,” the name written on the piano in the painting, is a big manufacturing company that makes pianos. So Charles Gillam Sr. was inspired to draw it in a painting. In conclusion, this is what can be learned from the painting. This painting is in a museum called the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture. Source: https://www.si.edu/object/aint-shame:nmaahc_2013.207.3

Edited by Penny Yagake






There are multiple new things about the trampoline not only that trampoline train the military.for example the military or i should say pilots trained on a trampoline because it taught them how to reorient themselves to surroundings after the difficult air maneuvers.another thing that i learned from the passage is George Nissan had made the idea to make the trampoline after he watched gymnastics he achieved to change the minds of young people.This is what i have learned from the article. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/how-trampoline-came-be-180974343/

There are multiple new things about the trampoline not only that trampoline train the military.

      • Remember to put a space after each period and capitalize the first word of each sentence. This sentence is incomplete. A phrase beginning with “not only” is usually followed by another phrase beginning with “but also.” Avoid using “things.” Instead, describe what these “things” are.

Edited sentence: There are multiple facts about the trampoline, including its use in training the military.

for example the military or i should say pilots trained on a trampoline because it taught them how to reorient themselves to surroundings after the difficult air maneuvers.

      • Do not use first person point of view (“I” or “me” or “my”). Use third person point of view instead, which does not use “I.” Since the last half of the sentence is pretty similar to the source article, I would just quote it.

Edited sentence: For example, in the military, pilots trained on a trampoline because it taught them “how to reorient themselves to their surroundings after difficult air maneuvers.”

another thing that i learned from the passage is George Nissan had made the idea to make the trampoline after he watched gymnastics he achieved to change the minds of young people.

      • Again, do not use first person point of view and use third person point of view instead. Make sure that a person’s name is spelled correctly — “Nissan” should be spelled as “Nissen.” The source states that Nissen was a gymnast, but he got the idea from watching aerialists, specifically. I would split this sentence into two to help fit the six sentence structure.

Edited sentence: According to the article, George Nissen had the idea to make the trampoline after he watched aerialists perform at a circus. His achievement changed the minds of young people.

This is what i have learned from the article.

      • Do not use first person point of view (“I”) and use third person point of view. This sentence could have more detail. You could summarize what you learned, for example, or what other people could learn from this article.
      • Remember to create a title for your summary and to have six sentences in your summary. The article summary should use third person point of view, not first person point of view. In third person point of view, you identify and focus on the person or object that is the subject of the article. Make sure the information you include in your summary is correct.


Fully edited article:

There are multiple facts about the trampoline, including its use in training the military. For example, in the military, pilots trained on a trampoline because it taught them “how to reorient themselves to their surroundings after difficult air maneuvers.” According to the article, George Nissen had the idea to make the trampoline after he watched aerialists perform at a circus. His achievement changed the minds of young people. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/how-trampoline-came-be-180974343/

Original article:

There are multiple new things about the trampoline not only that trampoline train the military.for example the military or i should say pilots trained on a trampoline because it taught them how to reorient themselves to surroundings after the difficult air maneuvers.another thing that i learned from the passage is George Nissan had made the idea to make the trampoline after he watched gymnastics he achieved to change the minds of young people.This is what i have learned from the article. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/how-trampoline-came-be-180974343/

Edited by Penny Yagake






There are many things i have learned in the article for example i have learned They have a greater than 500 different types of sharks in total around the world.another thing i learned is the range of a shark compared to a human being is 39 feet.the last thing i learned is sharks play an important role to the ocean but they are in trouble around the world asian people hunt sharks because they need there fins to make there soup.this is what I learned.This is what I learned from the article. Source: https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/sharks-rays/sharks


There are many things i have learned in the article for example i have learned They have a greater than 500 different types of sharks in total around the world.

      • It’s good that you have learned from the source, but I would suggest removing phrases like “There are many things i have learned” so that the article can focus on the subject. Avoid using first person point of view (I, my, me) and use third person point of view instead. The reader may be confused because they may not know what “things” is. “things” should be replaced by a more specific word — a name of an object, for example.

Edited sentence: There are more than 500 different types of sharks in total around the world.

another thing i learned is the range of a shark compared to a human being is 39 feet.

      • Capitalize the first word in each sentence. Again, avoid first person point of view (I, my, me) and use third person point of view instead. Describe what kind of range is being explained here. Additionally, a range should have a starting number and an end number — for example, 10 — 39 feet.

Edited sentence: The size of a shark can go up to 39 feet compared to a human being.

the last thing i learned is sharks play an important role to the ocean but they are in trouble around the world asian people hunt sharks because they need there fins to make there soup.

      • Instead of “to the ocean,” write “in the ocean” since sharks live in the ocean. This sentence is pretty long so I would split this sentence into two. “there” should be “their.”

Edited sentence: Sharks play an important role in the ocean but they are in trouble around the world. In Asia, people hunt sharks to make soup from their fins.

this is what I learned.This is what I learned from the article.

      • Instead of repeating this statement, try to replace these sentences with other information in the source.
      • Remember to include a title. Avoid using first person point of view (I, my, me) and use third person point of view. Capitalize the beginning of each sentence and put a space after the period at the end of each sentence. If you need more sentences, read through the source again to find more information.


Fully edited article:

There are more than 500 different types of sharks in total around the world. The size of a shark can go up to 39 feet compared to a human being. Sharks play an important role in the ocean but they are in trouble around the world. In Asia, people hunt sharks to make soup from their fins. Source: https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/sharks-rays/sharks

Original article:

There are many things i have learned in the article for example i have learned They have a greater than 500 different types of sharks in total around the world.another thing i learned is the range of a shark compared to a human being is 39 feet.the last thing i learned is sharks play an important role to the ocean but they are in trouble around the world asian people hunt sharks because they need there fins to make there soup.this is what I learned.This is what I learned from the article. Source: https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/sharks-rays/sharks

Edited by Penny Yagake






I have learned multiple things during the text Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters for example scienctists found a skull in alberta.paleontologists are discovering the tyrannosaur fast.they as in the Tyrannosaur had crossed North America over two million years ago Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/search/

I have learned multiple things during the text Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters for example scienctists found a skull in alberta.

      • Since this article will state multiple facts, this sentence does not need “I have learned multiple things.” The title of an article should be placed within quotation marks like this — “Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters.” “scienctists” should be spelled as “scientists.” Alberta should be capitalized because it is a proper noun - in this case, the name of a province in Canada. More detail can be added about the skull.

Edited sentence: According to the article “Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters,” scientists found parts of a tyrannosaur skull in Alberta.

paleontologists are discovering the tyrannosaur fast.

      • This sentence is unclear. Are the paleontologists discovering that the tyrannosaur could move fast? Or are the paleontologists quickly discovering the tyrannosaur? I edited this sentence based on the source.

Edited sentence: Paleontologists are quickly discovering more tyrannosaur remains.

they as in the Tyrannosaur had crossed North America over two million years ago

      • I do not see this exact information in the source. The source article states that certain tyrannosaurs “roamed North America during the last 10 million years of the Cretaceous” and that the bones found “are about 2.5 million years older than other tyrannosaurids.” Please make sure the information is stated accurately.

Edited sentence: Tyrannosaurs lived in North America millions of years ago.

      • Remember to create a title for your article. Additionally, your article currently has three sentences, but it needs to have six sentences. There is a lot of information that you can include. The source you provided leads to the Smithsonian Magazine website's search bar, not to the specific article. Include the full article URL like this — Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/newly-discovered-tyrannosaur-was-key-rise-giant-meat-eaters-180974156/. Be sure to capitalize the first word of each sentence and put a space after the period at the end of each sentence.


Fully edited article:

According to the article “Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters,” scientists found parts of a tyrannosaur skull in Alberta. Paleontologists are quickly discovering more tyrannosaur remains. Tyrannosaurs lived in North America millions of years ago. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/newly-discovered-tyrannosaur-was-key-rise-giant-meat-eaters-180974156/.

Original article:

I have learned multiple things during the text Newly Discovered Tyrannosaur Was Key to the Rise of Giant Meat-Eaters for example scienctists found a skull in alberta.paleontologists are discovering the tyrannosaur fast.they as in the Tyrannosaur had crossed North America over two million years ago Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/search/

Edited by Penny Yagake






Something that i learned from the article “How Simple Blood Tests Could Revolutionize Cancer Treatment”is that the latest DNA sample can detect if you have cancer.Although there is no treat to be found. Another thing that i learned is Star Dolbier had lung cancer she had to go through painful biopsy surgery.After the new test they gave her a new drug treatment ro help her try to get rid of her lung cancer.The drug had helped her get rid of her lung caner and she is living a new life now. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-simple-blood-tests-could-revolutionize-cancer-treatment-180974140/

Something that i learned from the article “How Simple Blood Tests Could Revolutionize Cancer Treatment”is that the latest DNA sample can detect if you have cancer.

      • I removed “Something that i learned” because while it is good that you have learned about this topic, the article should focus on communicating the main information to the reader. The “DNA sample” is being tested to detect cancer, but it is not the device that detects cancer.

Edited sentence: DNA samples could be used to detect cancer through blood tests.

Although there is no treat to be found.

      • This sentence is incomplete. “treat” should be written as “treatment.” I am not sure what this sentence is referring to as I do not see a section in the source that states there is no treatment to be found. It states that Star Dolbier is undergoing treatment, and that treatments for patients could become more personalized. I edited this sentence to reflect that.

Edited sentence: Cancer treatments could become more personalized to meet each patient’s needs.

Another thing that i learned is Star Dolbier had lung cancer she had to go through painful biopsy surgery.

      • The source states that Star Dolbier would “likely” have had to go through a painful biopsy surgery, not that she had one. Although I removed “Another thing that i learned,” please remember to capitalize “i” when referring to yourself. This is also a run-on sentence, so I split it into two to fit the six sentence structure.

Edited sentence: Star Dolbier was diagnosed with lung cancer. The article states that at the time, she would “likely have to go through a painful biopsy surgery.”

After the new test they gave her a new drug treatment ro help her try to get rid of her lung cancer.

      • “ro” should be written as “to.” The reader will not know who “they” is because “they” is not identified in this sentence. I edited the sentence to reduce wordiness.

Edited sentence: Instead, a new test led to her being given a new drug to treat her cancer.

The drug had helped her get rid of her lung caner and she is living a new life now.

      • “caner” should be spelled as “cancer.” The source does not exactly say she got rid of the cancer, but that the drug “has kept her cancer at bay.” This means that the cancer is under better control, and possibly that the spread of the cancer has been reduced, but it is not confirmed to be gone. The source implies that Dolbier may be being treated still, so the past tense “had” should be changed to the present tense “has.”

Edited sentence: The drug has helped her control her lung cancer and she says she is “living a normal life right now.”

      • Remember to add a title to your article. Make sure to look for any spelling errors in your sentences and correct them. Put a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Also make sure that the information in your article accurately communicates the information in the source.


Fully edited article:

DNA samples could be used to detect cancer through blood tests. Cancer treatments could become more personalized to meet each patient’s needs. Star Dolbier was diagnosed with lung cancer. The article states that at the time, she would “likely have to go through a painful biopsy surgery.” Instead, a new test led to her being given a new drug to treat her cancer. The drug has helped her control her lung cancer and she says she is “living a normal life right now.” Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-simple-blood-tests-could-revolutionize-cancer-treatment-180974140/

Original article:

Something that i learned from the article “How Simple Blood Tests Could Revolutionize Cancer Treatment”is that the latest DNA sample can detect if you have cancer.Although there is no treat to be found. Another thing that i learned is Star Dolbier had lung cancer she had to go through painful biopsy surgery.After the new test they gave her a new drug treatment ro help her try to get rid of her lung cancer.The drug had helped her get rid of her lung caner and she is living a new life now. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-simple-blood-tests-could-revolutionize-cancer-treatment-180974140/

Edited by Penny Yagake






There is many negative things about social media that i have learned For example people or hackers can hack your account and all your private things can get posted another thing i learned is even though social media give you communication you have the ability to get up and actually meet them the last thing I learned is social media distracts you from interactions with your family and talking also from having fun.This shows why you should not have social media.

There is many negative things about social media that i have learned

      • This sentence is discussing “many negative things,” which is a plural subject so it should be followed by the plural verb “are” instead of “is.” The meaning of “things” is not very clear so I replaced it with “aspects” because you are describing different aspects, or parts, related to social media. I removed “i have learned” to keep the article formal and focused on the facts.

Edited sentence: There are many negative aspects about social media.

For example people or hackers can hack your account and all your private things can get posted

      • This sentence is written in the second person point of view (“you”), but I changed it to the third person point of view so that it focuses on the facts. “hackers” are “people” so I removed “people” because both terms are referring to the same subject. Again, the meaning of “things” is not clear, so I have replaced it with “information” because it is more specific. I also split this sentence into two to fit the six sentence structure.

Edited sentence: For example, hackers can hack into a person’s account. Hackers can then post that person’s private information on the internet.

another thing i learned is even though social media give you communication you have the ability to get up and actually meet them

      • I removed “another thing I learned” so that the focus is on the topic. Again, I changed the second person point of view to third person for the same reason. I edited the sentence for better flow and to make it a bit more objective. While some readers may have the ability to get up and meet people, others may not.

Edited sentence: Even though social media allows people to communicate, it is not the same as getting up and meeting people face-to-face.

the last thing I learned is social media distracts you from interactions with your family and talking also from having fun.

      • I removed “the last thing I learned” so that the focus is on the topic. Again, I changed the second person point of view to third person for the same reason. “interactions with your family” can include “talking” and “having fun” so I removed “talking” and “having fun” because these phrases are referring to related actions.

Edited sentence: Social media distracts people from interacting with their family.

This shows why you should not have social media.

      • The concluding sentence should summarize the reasons given in the article explaining the negative aspects of social media.

Edited sentence: The use of social media should be limited because it can put a person’s private information at risk and disconnect them from the people who are close to them.

      • Remember to include a title for your article and to include six sentences in your article. You must include the source, otherwise the reader will not be able to tell where this information is from. I also need the source to check the accuracy of the information in this article. Please put a period at the end of each sentence, otherwise it is hard to tell where one sentence ends and another begins.


Fully edited article: There are many negative aspects about social media. For example, hackers can hack into a person’s account. Hackers can then post that person’s private information on the internet. Even though social media allows people to communicate, it is not the same as getting up and meeting people face-to-face. Social media distracts people from interacting with their family. The use of social media should be limited because it can put a person’s private information at risk and disconnect them from the people who are close to them.

Original article: There is many negative things about social media that i have learned For example people or hackers can hack your account and all your private things can get posted another thing i learned is even though social media give you communication you have the ability to get up and actually meet them the last thing I learned is social media distracts you from interactions with your family and talking also from having fun.This shows why you should not have social media.

Edited by Penny Yagake





Dance is a very interesting topic not only that it can be very dangerous it can have alot of stunts.Alvin Ailey is a dancer who does ballet she works with someone who take professional photos of her named Mitchell.Mitchell and Alvin ailey works as a team and they found a language throughout dance its called art its soothing and calming.Another thing that i have learned from the article everyone has there own unique way of dancing their cultural gestures they have their own way in their own culture.The last and final thing that i have learned is Ailey is solely African American.This is what i have learned about dance . Source:

ttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/twelve-anniversaries-and-events-worth-traveling-2020-180974044/

Dance is a very interesting topic not only that it can be very dangerous it can have alot of stunts.

      • I added commas to this sentence so that it does not sound like a run-on sentence. “alot” should be two words — “a lot.” This sentence could use the “not only… but also” sentence structure, which I have done in the edited sentence.

Edited sentence: Dance is a very interesting topic, not only because it can be very dangerous, but also because it can include a lot of stunts.

Alvin Ailey is a dancer who does ballet she works with someone who take professional photos of her named Mitchell.

      • I edited this sentence for better flow. If Mitchell’s last name is stated in the source, it should be included in the article as well.

Edited sentence: Alvin Ailey is a ballet dancer who works with a professional photographer named Mitchell.

Mitchell and Alvin ailey works as a team and they found a language throughout dance its called art its soothing and calming.

      • Make sure there is a space between sentences. Alvin Ailey should be mentioned first since she is the main person in the article. “Ailey” should be capitalized because it is Alvin’s last name. “Works” does not need an “s” because this verb follows a plural subject — “Alvin Ailey and Mitchell.” I edited this sentence for better flow.

Edited sentence: Alvin Ailey and Mitchell work as a team. They found a language throughout dance called art, which is soothing and calming.

Another thing that i have learned from the article everyone has there own unique way of dancing their cultural gestures they have their own way in their own culture.

      • It is good that you have learned this from the source, but your article should focus only on the source itself and on what the reader can learn. “there” should be spelled as “their” because this sentence is referring to people. “there” would be used if it was referring to a place. I edited this sentence for better flow.

Edited sentence: Everyone has their own unique way of dancing. They have their own cultural gestures.

The last and final thing that i have learned is Ailey is solely African American.This is what i have learned about dance .

      • Again, your article should focus on the source itself. The fact that Ailey is African American can be combined with the second sentence.

Edited sentence: Ailey is African American.

      • Remember to include a title for your article. Also make sure that the source is correct, because the source attached to this article seems to talk about a different subject. Focus on the flow of your sentences — are there some words in a sentence that you can combine or remove? After writing a sentence, read it to make sure it is not a fragmented or run-on sentence. I split the third and fourth sentences to keep the six sentence structure after editing.

Fully edited article:

Dance is a very interesting topic, not only because it can be very dangerous, but also because it can include a lot of stunts. Alvin Ailey is an African American ballet dancer who works with a professional photographer named Mitchell. Alvin Ailey and Mitchell work as a team. They found a language throughout dance called art, which is soothing and calming. Everyone has their own unique way of dancing. They have their own cultural gestures. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/twelve-anniversaries-and-events-worth-traveling-2020-180974044/

Original article:

Dance is a very interesting topic not only that it can be very dangerous it can have alot of stunts.Alvin Ailey is a dancer who does ballet she works with someone who take professional photos of her named Mitchell.Mitchell and Alvin ailey works as a team and they found a language throughout dance its called art its soothing and calming.Another thing that i have learned from the article everyone has there own unique way of dancing their cultural gestures they have their own way in their own culture.The last and final thing that i have learned is Ailey is solely African American.This is what i have learned about dance . Source: ttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/twelve-anniversaries-and-events-worth-traveling-2020-180974044/

Edited by Penny Yagake