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'''Basic Note: Lote, you must include a headline, 1 topic sentence, 4 fact sentences, 1 concluding sentence and the SOURCE of your article
 
'''Basic Note: Lote, you must include a headline, 1 topic sentence, 4 fact sentences, 1 concluding sentence and the SOURCE of your article
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The Virus That Is going On Is Secretly Brewing In Bats
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This article is about how the bats have the COVID-19 virus in their body. One fact is that scientists say that the SARS-CoV-2 originated inside the bat's bodies. Second, the SARS-CoV-2 is the virus that causes the the coronavirus to spread. In addition, scientist are trying to see in the bat's bodies whether or not the  SARS-CoV-2 have any siblings or cousins. Lastly, the viruses SARS-CoV-2 and RaTG13 were split together 40-70 years as a common ancestor. In conclusion, this is why the COVID-19 originated inside the bats bodies.
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SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/sars-cov-2-coronavirus-history-bats/
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<br> Reefs Sharks All Around The world Are In Big Trouble <br />  
 
<br> Reefs Sharks All Around The world Are In Big Trouble <br />  

Revision as of 17:05, 31 July 2020

Basic Note: Lote, you must include a headline, 1 topic sentence, 4 fact sentences, 1 concluding sentence and the SOURCE of your article

The Virus That Is going On Is Secretly Brewing In Bats

This article is about how the bats have the COVID-19 virus in their body. One fact is that scientists say that the SARS-CoV-2 originated inside the bat's bodies. Second, the SARS-CoV-2 is the virus that causes the the coronavirus to spread. In addition, scientist are trying to see in the bat's bodies whether or not the SARS-CoV-2 have any siblings or cousins. Lastly, the viruses SARS-CoV-2 and RaTG13 were split together 40-70 years as a common ancestor. In conclusion, this is why the COVID-19 originated inside the bats bodies.

SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/sars-cov-2-coronavirus-history-bats/









Reefs Sharks All Around The world Are In Big Trouble

***This title is very similar to the one from the article. Let's try something like: Trouble Emerges For Reef Sharks Around the Globe. Be careful with plagiarism!

Original Article

This article is about how Reef Sharks are in trouble. One fact is that scientists didn't see sharks in 20% of the reefs. Second, overfishing has devastated shark population around the world. In addition, 100 scientists placed cameras baited with ground-up fish to see whether the sharks will come out. Lastly, overfishing has also made sharks change their habitat. In conclusion, reef sharks are in trouble.

SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/sharks-coral-reefs-overfishing/


The Edits

This article is about how Reef Sharks are in trouble.

***Good; however, reef sharks doesn't need to be capitalized.

One fact is that scientists didn't see sharks in 20% of the reefs.

***Change 'didn't' to 'can't; you're not writing in past tense here.

Second, overfishing has devastated shark population around the world.

***Because your title insists that you're writing in the present tense, we want to be sure that your writing matches that. Therefore, we would say: Second, overfishing is devastating shark population around the world.

In addition, 100 scientists placed cameras baited with ground-up fish to see whether the sharks will come out.

***Small edits: In addition, scientists placed cameras baited with ground-up fish to see whether the sharks would come out.

Lastly, overfishing has also made sharks change their habitat.

***Good!

In conclusion, reef sharks are in trouble.

***Good.

Final Edits

This article is about how reef sharks are in trouble. One fact is that scientists can’t see sharks in 20% of the reefs. Second, overfishing is devastating shark population around the world. In addition, scientists placed cameras baited with ground-up fish to see whether the sharks would come out. Lastly, overfishing has also made sharks change their habitat. In conclusion, reef sharks are in trouble.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Inhaling Pure Oxygen Can Make Your Brain Younger

***Good title!

Original Article

The article is about how inhaling pure oxygen can make your brain younger. One fact is that biologists reprogram from aging in yeast cells. Second, neuroscientists are trying to turn back the biological clock with just oxygen. In addition, Hyperbaric oxygen therapy involves with inhaling in pure oxygen. Lastly, if you breath pure oxygen then your blood flow in your brain will increase. In conclusion, inhaling in pure oxygen makes your brain younger.


SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/anti-aging-treatment-oxygen/


The Edits

The article is about how inhaling pure oxygen can make your brain younger.

***Small edits: This article is about how inhaling pure oxygen can make your brain younger.

One fact is that biologists reprogram from aging in yeast cells.

***From what the article says, I think we can change this to: One fact is that although biologists have discovered how to reprogram the processess of aging in yeast cells, they have yet to fully understand aging in the human brain.

Second, neuroscientists are trying to turn back the biological clock with just oxygen.

***This is good. Let's make sure that you're using your own language/vocabulary instead of using what's in the article.

In addition, Hyperbaric oxygen therapy involves with inhaling in pure oxygen.

***Small edits: In addition, hyperbaric oxygen therapy involves inhaling pure oxygen.

Lastly, if you breath pure oxygen then your blood flow in your brain will increase.

***Small edits: Lastly, if you breathe pure oxygen, the blood flow in your brain will increase.

In conclusion, inhaling in pure oxygen makes your brain younger.

***Small edits: In conclusion, inhaling pure oxygen makes your brain younger.

Final Edits

This article is about how inhaling pure oxygen can make your brain younger. One fact is that although biologists have discovered how to reprogram the processes of aging in yeast cells, they have yet to fully understand aging in the human brain. Second, neuroscientists are trying to turn back the biological clock with just oxygen. In addition, hyperbaric oxygen therapy involves inhaling pure oxygen. Lastly, if you breathe pure oxygen, the blood flow in your brain will increase. In conclusion, inhaling pure oxygen makes your brain younger.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Geologists Say That Venus Has Enough Active Volcanos To Make A Ring Of Fire Around The Planet

***Good title. Try to make it shorter next time!


This article is mainly about how that Venus has enough active volcanos to form a ring of fire. One fact is that geologists can finally see that the volcanos are active and not ancient. Second, scientists used high-resolution 3-D simulations to show and dot the Venus’ cloud-cloaked surface form and grow. In addition, when a rock plume is active, molten rock rises slowly at the center of the corona. Last, Coronae is a sign of ancient activity. In conclusion, Venus can form a ring of fire from the active volcanos.


SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/venus-volcanoes-ring-of-fire/

The Edits

This article is mainly about how that Venus has enough active volcanos to form a ring of fire.

***Small edits: This article is mainly about how Venus has enough active volcanos to form a ring of fire.

One fact is that geologists can finally see that the volcanos are active and not ancient.

***Good.

Second, scientists used high-resolution 3-D simulations to show and dot the Venus’ cloud-cloaked surface form and grow.

***Small edits: Second, scientists use high-resolution 3-D simulations to show and dot Venus’ cloud-cloaked surface as it forms and grows.

In addition, when a rock plume is active, molten rock rises slowly at the center of the corona.

***Good!

Last, Coronae is a sign of ancient activity.

***Good! I don't think coronae needs to be capitalized, though :).

In conclusion, Venus can form a ring of fire from the active volcanos.

***Good. Small error; 'volcanos' should be spelled as 'volcanoes'.

Final Edits

This article is mainly about how Venus has enough active volcanos to form a ring of fire. One fact is that geologists can finally see that the volcanos are active and not ancient. Second, scientists use high-resolution 3-D simulations to show and dot Venus’ cloud-cloaked surface as it forms and grows. In addition, when a rock plume is active, molten rock rises slowly at the center of the corona. Last, coronae is a sign of ancient activity. In conclusion, Venus can form a ring of fire from active volcanoes.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


We Know How To Beat COVID-19 With 3 Simple Steps

***Nice title!

Original Article

This article is mainly about how you could stop from getting the coronavirus from simple steps. One fact is that combining wearing masks, washing your hands, and social distancing will be able slow down the spread of the coronavirus. Second, closing public places like schools and restaurants will slow down the rise of the COVID-19. In addition, if people see the outcomes of people are infected with the coronavirus then they will follow to any type of measures to keep them safe. Lastly, if nearly all the population followed the adopted self-imposed measures than we didn't have to go to secondary lockdown. In conclusion, there are simple steps that can slow down the spread of the coronavirus.


SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-coronavirus-prevention-wash-hands-mask/


The Edits

This article is mainly about how you could stop from getting the coronavirus from simple steps.

***Small edits: This article is about how you can avoid catching the coronavirus from three simple steps.

One fact is that combining wearing masks, washing your hands, and social distancing will be able slow down the spread of the coronavirus.

***Let's say 'The first step is' instead of 'One fact is'. Edited sentence: The first step is a combination of things: wearing a mask, washing your hands, and social distancing.

Second, closing public places like schools and restaurants will slow down the rise of the COVID-19.

***Good!

In addition, if people see the outcomes of people are infected with the coronavirus then they will follow to any type of measures to keep them safe.

***Small edits: In addition, if people witnessed the outcome of those who are infected with the virus, then they will follow any type of measures to keep themselves safe.

Lastly, if nearly all the population followed the adopted self-imposed measures than we didn't have to go to secondary lockdown.

***Small edits: Lastly, if almost the whole population followed the self-imposed measures, we wouldn't have to have another lockdown.

In conclusion, there are simple steps that can slow down the spread of the coronavirus.

***Good.

Final Edits

This article is about how you can avoid catching the coronavirus from three simple steps. The first step is a combination of things: wearing a mask, washing your hands, and social distancing. Second, closing public places like schools and restaurants will slow down the rise of the COVID-19. In addition, if people witnessed the outcome of those who are infected with the virus, then they will follow any type of measures to keep themselves safe. Lastly, if almost the whole population followed the self-imposed measures, we wouldn't have to have another lockdown. In conclusion, there are simple steps that can slow down the spread of the coronavirus.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Humans Owe Their Accomplishments To Friendship

***Nice title!

Original Article

This article is mainly about people owe their work and accomplishments to friendship. One fact, is that friendliness is a good strategy if you want to live a good life. Second, the only reason why humans aren't extinct right now is because the bonds of the people that they share. In addition, there were other types of humans a long time ago and they went extinct because we had a edge that lead to friendliness its called self-domestication. Lastly, since we were able to become friends with each other we were able to make our population to a little bit to uncountable amount of people. In conclusion, people owe their life to friendship.


SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/survival-of-the-friendliest/


The Edits

This article is mainly about people owe their work and accomplishments to friendship.

***Good.

One fact, is that friendliness is a good strategy if you want to live a good life.

***Small edits: One fact is that friendliness is a good way of living life.

Second, the only reason why humans aren't extinct right now is because the bonds of the people that they share.

***Small edits: Second, the only reason why humans aren't extinct right now is because of the bonds they share with other people.

In addition, there were other types of humans a long time ago and they went extinct because we had a edge that lead to friendliness its called self-domestication.

***Let's simplify this sentence: In addition, past humans went extinct because of self-domestication.

Lastly, since we were able to become friends with each other we were able to make our population to a little bit to uncountable amount of people.

***Let's try: Lastly, since we were able to become friends with each other, it became harder to keep track of our population.

In conclusion, people owe their life to friendship.

***Good!

Final Edits

This article is mainly about people owe their work and accomplishments to friendship. One fact is that friendliness is a good way of living life. Second, the only reason why humans aren't extinct right now is because of the bonds they share with other people. In addition, past humans went extinct because of self-domestication. Lastly, since we were able to become friends with each other, it became harder to keep track of our population.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Kids Are Catching The COVID-19 Than Expected

***Edited title: Kids Are Catching COVID-19 More Than Expected

Original Article

This article mainly about how kids are surprisingly spreading way more than expected. One fact is that kids are getting the corona virus as much as the elderly. Second, there is an argument going around whether schools should reopen in the fall because how much the kids are spreading the corona virus. In addition, people thought since kids are young they won't spread the corona virus as much as the elderly but the kids did. Last, even kids that aren't in school are getting the corona virus.


SOURCE:https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-roundup-720/


The Edits

This article mainly about how kids are surprisingly spreading way more than expected.

***Let's say: This article is about how kids are catching COVID-19 way more than anyone had anticipated.

One fact is that kids are getting the corona virus as much as the elderly.

***Coronavirus is one word.

Second, there is an argument going around whether schools should reopen in the fall because how much the kids are spreading the corona virus.

***Edited sentence: Second, there's an argument going around about whether schools should reopen in the Fall because of how much kids are spreading the virus.

In addition, people thought since kids are young they won't spread the corona virus as much as the elderly but the kids did.

***Let's try saying: In addition, many thought that because kids are so young and can heal fast, it's unlikely that they would spread the virus; this proved to be incorrect.

Last, even kids that aren't in school are getting the corona virus.

***Coronavirus is just one word. You're also going to need a conclusion sentence, which could be as simple as: In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Final Edits

This article is about how kids are catching COVID-19 way more than anyone had anticipated. One fact is that kids are getting the coronavirus as much as the elderly. Second, there's an argument going around about whether schools should reopen in the Fall because of how much kids are spreading the virus. In addition, many thought that because kids are so young and can heal fast, it's unlikely that they would spread the virus; this proved to be incorrect. Lastly, even kids that aren't in school are getting the corona virus. In conclusion, this is what I learned from the article.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


8 Ways to Fight Against Bugs Instead of Using a Store Bought Bug Spray

***Good title. Small edit: 8 Ways to Fight Against Bugs Instead of Using Store-Bought Bug Spray

Original Article

This article is mainly about how there are ways to repel against bugs instead of using bug sprays. One fact is that you can make your own natural bug repellent by using these ingredients. A one-quart spray bottle 1 pint distilled white vinegar 1 pint water 25 drops of tea tree oil 25 drops of lavender essential oil Second, you should often check for ticks to not get any diseases. In addition, you should be careful where you put your footwear because bugs can go inside it. Lastly, you could get nets to protect yourself when bugs come strong. In conclusion there are more ways to repel bugs instead of using store bought bug sprays.


SOURCE:https://www.popsci.com/story/diy/natural-ways-repel-bugs-without-chemicals/


The Edits

This article is mainly about how there are ways to repel against bugs instead of using bug sprays.

***Good. Small edits: This article is about how there are ways to repel against bugs instead of using bug spray.

One fact is that you can make your own natural bug repellent by using these ingredients.

***We'll need a colon at the end of the sentence because you have a list that follows afterward.

A one-quart spray bottle 1 pint distilled white vinegar 1 pint water 25 drops of tea tree oil 25 drops of lavender essential oil

***If it were me, I would have written this list by using commas; however, I think that this works too!

Second, you should often check for ticks to not get any diseases.

***Small edit: Second, you should often check for ticks as they carry many diseases.

In addition, you should be careful where you put your footwear because bugs can go inside it.

***Edited sentence: In addition, you should be careful where you put your shoes because bugs can go inside them.

Lastly, you could get nets to protect yourself when bugs come strong.

***Lastly, you should get nets to protect yourself for when bugs come around.

In conclusion there are more ways to repel bugs instead of using store bought bug sprays.

***You need a comma after 'In conclusion'. Edited sentence: In conclusion, there are other ways to repel bugs instead of using store-bought bug spray.

Final Edits

This article is about how there are ways to repel against bugs instead of using bug spray. One fact is that you can make your own natural bug repellent by using these ingredients: A one-quart spray bottle 1 pint distilled white vinegar 1 pint water 25 drops of tea tree oil 25 drops of lavender essential oil Second, you should often check for ticks as they carry many diseases. In addition, you should be careful where you put your shoes because bugs can go inside them. Lastly, you should get nets to protect yourself for when bugs come around. In conclusion, there are other ways to repel bugs instead of using store-bought bug spray.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Cooling Your Home Without Using the AC

***Good title. Let's take out 'the' and just leave it as 'Cooling Your Home Without Using AC'

Original Article

This article is mainly about how you could stay cool during the summer without using the AC. One fact is that when you sweat droplets it turns into gas and that evaporation takes away warmth from your body. Secondly the best way to make a room colder is to pull up the heat and out. In addition designs of houses can take away heat to, for example the "shotgun" houses has cross breezes that can help pull away heat. Lastly houses with wraparound porches can help take away heat because the external structure absorbs the heat. In conclusion these are ways that can help you cool down without an AC.

SOURCE: https://www.popsci.com/keep-cool-minimal-ac/

The Edits

This article is mainly about how you could stay cool during the summer without using the AC.

***Small edits: This article is mainly about how you can stay cool during the summer without using AC.

One fact is that when you sweat droplets it turns into gas and that evaporation takes away warmth from your body.

***Good.

Secondly the best way to make a room colder is to pull up the heat and out.

***Let's change 'Secondly' to just 'Second' and we'll need a comma after that word. Edited sentence: Second, the best way to make a room colder is to pull the heat out.

In addition designs of houses can take away heat to, for example the "shotgun" houses has cross breezes that can help pull away heat.

***You need a comma after 'In addition'. Let's articulate this sentence in a different way: In addition, certain house designs can take away heat too; for example, "shotgun" houses have cross breezes that can help take away heat.

Lastly houses with wraparound porches can help take away heat because the external structure absorbs the heat.

***You need a comma after 'Lastly'. Edited sentence: Lastly, houses with wraparound porches can help take away heat because the external structure absorbs the it.

In conclusion these are ways that can help you cool down without an AC.

***You need a comma after 'In conclusion'. Small edits: In conclusion, these are some ways that can help cool down your home without AC.

Final Edits

This article is mainly about how you can stay cool during the summer without using AC. One fact is that when you sweat droplets it turns into gas and that evaporation takes away warmth from your body. Second, the best way to make a room colder is to pull the heat out. In addition, certain house designs can take away heat too; for example, "shotgun" houses have cross breezes that can help take away heat. Lastly, houses with wraparound porches can help take away heat because the external structure absorbs the it. In conclusion, these are some ways that can help cool down your home without AC.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner


Why laughing feels great

***Good title, but capitalize the first letter of each word: Why Laughing Feels Great

Original Article

This article is about why laughing feels really good. One fact is that humor tickles our immune response. Secondly, if one signal hits the motor cortex which makes you wanna giggle. In addition if an another command hits the amygdala, thalamus, and the hypothalamus it triggers the endorphin rush which makes laughing feel good. Lastly, extra endorphins spark joy and dull physical pain while relaxed blood vessels. In conclusion this is why laughing feels so good.


SOURCE:popsci.com


The Edits

This article is about why laughing feels really good.

***Good!

One fact is that humor tickles our immune response.

***Good.

Secondly, if one signal hits the motor cortex which makes you wanna giggle.

***Change 'Secondly' to just 'Second'. Edited sentence: Second, if one signal hits the motor cortex, you will start to giggle.

In addition if an another command hits the amygdala, thalamus, and the hypothalamus it triggers the endorphin rush which makes laughing feel good.

***Small edit: In addition, if an another command hits the amygdala, thalamus, and the hypothalamus, it triggers the endorphin rush which makes laughing feel good.

Lastly, extra endorphins spark joy and dull physical pain while relaxed blood vessels.

***This sentence doesn't look like it's finished. Let's leave it as: Lastly, extra endorphins spark joy and dull physical pain.

In conclusion this is why laughing feels so good.

***You need a comma after 'In conclusion'.

Final Edits

This article is about why laughing feels really good. One fact is that humor tickles our immune response. Second, if one signal hits the motor cortex, you will start to giggle. In addition, if an another command hits the amygdala, thalamus, and the hypothalamus, it triggers the endorphin rush which makes laughing feel good. Lastly, extra endorphins spark joy and dull physical pain. In conclusion, this is why laughing feels so good.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner



Masks prevent from people dealing with the coronavirus

***Nice title, but remember, we have to capitalize the first letter of every word: Masks Prevent People From Dealing With Coronavirus
Original Article

The article is talking about how masks can prevent you from having coronavirus. One fact is that evidence shows that there is good studies that masks prevent coronavirus. Secondly, when you don't have and you sneeze it travels about 8 ft but when you have a mask it only travels 1 ft and 3 inches. In addition droplets travel wide without a mask, for example when you sneeze your germs spread out more wider than with a mask on. Lastly, the virus spreads slower if the mannequin’s face fits the mask. In conclusion masks slow down the coronavirus from spreading.


SOURCE: popsci.com


The Edits

The article is talking about how masks can prevent you from having coronavirus.

***Good.

One fact is that evidence shows that there is good studies that masks prevent coronavirus.

***Small edit: First, evidence shows that masks can prevent coronavirus.

Secondly, when you don't have and you sneeze it travels about 8 ft but when you have a mask it only travels 1 ft and 3 inches.

***This is bit lengthy. Let's try: Second, if you sneeze while wearing a mask, it will only travel one foot and three inches.

In addition droplets travel wide without a mask, for example when you sneeze your germs spread out more wider than with a mask on.

***You need a comma after 'In addition'. Edited sentence: In addition, droplets travel wide without a mask; for example, when you sneeze, your germs spread out wider than with a mask on.

Lastly, the virus spreads slower if the mannequin’s face fits the mask.

***Good.

In conclusion masks slow down the coronavirus from spreading.

***You always need a comma after your transition word/phrase, so let's insert a comma after 'In conclusion'.

Final Edits

The article is talking about how masks can prevent you from having coronavirus. First, evidence shows that masks can prevent coronavirus. Second, if you sneeze while wearing a mask, it will only travel one foot and three inches. In addition, droplets travel wide without a mask; for example, when you sneeze, your germs spread out wider than with a mask on. Lastly, the virus spreads slower if the mannequin’s face fits the mask. In conclusion, masks slow down the coronavirus from spreading.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner










Systems working together to defeat drones

***Good title. I think we could change 'working' to just 'work'. We also need to capitalize the beginning of each word (besides to). Edited headline: Systems Work Together to Defeat Drones.

Original Article

This article is about how systems are trying to defeat drones. One fact is that more than 95 countries have access on drones. Second fact is that drones are cheap so it is very easy for people to get their hands on them. Third fact is that the counter-UAS kill chain can detect, track, identify and defeat drones. Last fact is that experts on the drone added a new layer of sight to detect the drone easier. In conclusion systems are working together to defeat drones.

This article is about how systems are trying to defeat drones.

***Good!

One fact is that more than 95 countries have access on drones.

***You clearly have the four fact sentences you need, but I feel that you don't need to start every sentence with "one fact", "second fact", "third fact", etc. We'll leave this sentence as it is, but let's change the beginning of the other ones.

Second fact is that drones are cheap so it is very easy for people to get their hands on them.

***Let's just try saying "Secondly" instead of "second fact". Edited sentence altogether: Secondly, drones are cheap; therefore, it is very easy for people to get their hands on them.

Third fact is that the counter-UAS kill chain can detect, track, identify and defeat drones.

***Let's try changing 'Third fact' to 'In addition'. Edited sentence: In addition, the counter-UAS kill chain can detect, track, identify, and defeat drones.

Last fact is that experts on the drone added a new layer of sight to detect the drone easier.

***Change 'last fact' to just 'lastly'. Edited sentence: Lastly, experts added a new layer of sight to detect the drone easier.

In conclusion systems are working together to defeat drones.

***You'll need a comma after 'In conclusion'. This sentence looks go otherwise!

Final Edits

This article is about how systems are trying to defeat drones. One fact is that more than 95 countries have access on drones. Secondly, drones are cheap; therefore, it is very easy for people to get their hands on them. In addition, the counter-UAS kill chain can detect, track, identify, and defeat drones. Lastly, experts added a new layer of sight to detect the drone easier. In conclusion, systems are working together to defeat drones.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner















Original

Scientists found a buried roman city without even digging dirt

This article is saying that scientists just found a rare city without even digging. One fact is that scientists were trying to find buried cities without any destructive ways to find buried cities. Second fact is that scientists found that they were buildings like we have now but less technology like. Third fact is that Millet says "What’s really interesting is not just what you can see, but how clearly you can see it.”This shows that you could clearly see building placements. Last fact is that scientists used radars to find objects that you can't find in an naked eye. In conclusion scientists found a buried city without even digging down to find one.

SOURCE: popsci.com

Edits


Scientists found a buried roman city without even digging dirt

***Capitalize all significant words in a headline, especially proper nouns like “Roman”. Try to simplify this headline a bit or change a few of the words so you aren’t just repeating the first sentence of your paragraph.

Edited headline: Scientists Found a Buried Roman City Without Excavation

This article is saying that scientists just found a rare city without even digging.

***Good.

One fact is that scientists were trying to find buried cities without any destructive ways to find buried cities.

***Try to avoid using descriptive phrases like “buried cities” twice in the same sentence when they could be replaced with a pronoun or alternate phrasing.

Edited sentence: One fact from the article is that scientists were trying to find buried cities without using any destructive methods.

Second fact is that scientists found that they were buildings like we have now but less technology like.

***You need an article like “a” before the phrase “second fact”. Change the latter clause of this sentence to fit better grammatically with the first sentence; having the word “like” at the end makes this clause incorrectly phrased.

Edited sentence: A second fact is that scientists found the city had buildings like we have now but with less technology.

Third fact is that Millet says "What’s really interesting is not just what you can see, but how clearly you can see it.”

***Add an article before the phrase “third fact”, if you’re going to use it. Alternately, try using a different phrase to begin your sentences, like “according to the article”. Delete the extra space after “says”, and add a comma after the word “says” to properly introduce the following quote.

Edited sentence: According to the article, Millet says, “What’s really interesting is not just what you can see, but how clearly you can see it.”

This shows that you could clearly see building placements.

***Good job expounding on/further explaining the quote you used. Make sure there’s a space before the beginning of this sentence, like there should be before every sentence.

Last fact is that scientists used radars to find objects that you can't find in an naked eye.

***Add an article before the phrase “last fact”. Change “radars” to “radar”, which is the correct plural of “radar”. Replace the phrase “find in an” with “see with the”. “The naked eye” is a figure of speech that will always use the article “the” instead of the article “a”.

Edited sentence: The last fact is that scientists used radar to find objects that you can’t see with the naked eye.

In conclusion scientists found a buried city without even digging down to find one.

***Add a comma after “in conclusion”. Try rephrasing this sentence a bit, so that it doesn’t seem like just a repetition of your introductory sentence.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, scientists found a buried city without needing to dig to excavate it.

Final Edit

***Overall, good job. Make sure to always include the full URL of your source. Continue to work on making sure that you aren’t missing articles, especially for phrases and nouns that begin your sentences. You can also try changing the way you start some of your sentences; increasing variation will make your sentences flow better together.

Edited paragraph:

Scientists Found a Buried Roman City Without Excavation

This article is saying that scientists just found a rare city without even digging. One fact from the article is that scientists were trying to find buried cities without using any destructive methods. A second fact is that scientists found the city had buildings like we have now but with less technology. According to the article, Millet says, “What’s really interesting is not just what you can see, but how clearly you can see it.” This shows that you could clearly see building placements. The last fact is that scientists used radar to find objects that you can’t see with the naked eye. In conclusion, scientists found a buried city without needing to dig to excavate it.

Source: popsci.com/story/science/falerii-novi/

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro




Original

Milky Way is capable of having an alien civilizations

This article is talking about that there is a possibility that there is an alien civilization in the Milky Way. One fact is that astronauts found a far off extraterrestrial technology. Second fact is that researchers found new soft estimate of how alone humanity. Third fact is that researchers say that the formula "Dark Equation" can help them find alien life in the milky way. Last fact is that not only can the "Dark Equation can help us find alien life in the milky way but it is also the best way. In conclusion the article talks about alien life being in the Milky Way.

SOURCE: popsci.com

Edits


Milky Way is capable of having an alien civilizations

***Every significant word in a headline should be capitalized. Add the article "the" in front of "Milky Way", and because "alien civilizations" is plural here, you do not need the article "an" in front of it.

Edited headline: The Milky Way Is Capable of Having Alien Civilizations

This article is talking about that there is a possibility that there is an alien civilization in the Milky Way.

***Instead of repeating "that there is" twice in the same sentence, you can simplify your structure by replacing the first instance of this phrase with just the word "the".

Edited sentence: This article is talking about the possibility that there is an alien civilization in the Milky Way.

One fact is that astronauts found a far off extraterrestrial technology.

***Instead of using the word "found", try a more precise word like "discovered". "Far off" is considered a single adjective as you are using it here, so there should be a hyphen between the two words to make it one word. Delete the extra space between "off" and "extraterrestrial".

Edited sentence: One fact is that astronauts discovered a far-off, potentially extraterrestrial technology.

Second fact is that researchers found new soft estimate of how alone humanity.

***You are missing articles before "second fact" and "new soft estimate". You are also missing a verb like "is" after humanity.

Edited sentence: A second fact is that researchers found a new soft estimate of how alone humanity actually is.

Third fact is that researchers say that the formula "Dark Equation" can help them find alien life in the milky way.

***Add an article before "third fact". "Milky Way" should be capitalized, because it's considered a proper noun. I think "Dark Equation" should actually be the "Drake Equation", so this should be changed. Also, for the sake of fluidity, try replacing "the formula 'Drake Equation'" with the phrase, "a formula called the 'Drake Equation'". This is a better way to introduce a potentially new scientific concept to readers who haven't heard of it before.

Edited sentence: A third fact from the article is that researchers say that a formula called the "Drake Equation" can help them find alien life in the Milky Way.

Last fact is that not only can the "Dark Equation can help us find alien life in the milky way but it is also the best way.

***This is fairly repetitive, after the last sentence; try rephrasing it, or only presenting your new information without reusing the last sentence to introduce it. Change "dark equation" to "Drake Equation". You are missing an article in front of "last fact", and the second set of quotation marks around "Drake Equation" is also missing. Capitalize "the Milky Way" here, also, because it's a proper noun.

Edited sentence: The last fact is that the "Drake Equation" is the best chance scientists have discovered so far to find alien civilizations.

In conclusion the article talks about alien life being in the Milky Way.

***Add a comma after "in conclusion". Instead of repeating "talks about" from the first sentence, try using a different word like "discusses". Also, add a word like "potentially" before "being", because technically this is all hypothetical because scientists haven't actually discovered the alien life yet, just potential way to find it.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, the article discusses alien life potentially being in the Milky Way, our own galaxy.

Final Edit

***Overall, good work. Remember that your source should always be the full URL of the website/place you got it from, or it is otherwise considered incomplete. You should also be summarizing a specific article, and not necessarily adding information that isn't from that article or isn't stated in that article (like writing "Dark Equation" instead of "Drake Equation", which could be confusing and misleading to less informed readers). Continue to work on identifying places where you have missing articles; most nouns, especially at the beginning of the sentence and even if they have an adjective in front of them, require some sort of article. Remember to always capitalize proper nouns, even if the words that make up the proper noun are regular uncapitalized nouns on their own. Also, try mixing your sentence beginnings up a little! You don't need to begin every sentence the same way; even if you say something like "the article says", that will still indicate it is a fact from the article, and it will increase the variety of your paragraphs.

Edited paragraph:

The Milky Way Is Capable of Having Alien Civilizations

This article is talking about the possibility that there is an alien civilization in the Milky Way. One fact is that astronauts discovered a far-off, potentially extraterrestrial technology. A second fact is that researchers found a new soft estimate of how alone humanity actually is. A third fact from the article is that researchers say that a formula called the "Drake Equation" can help them find alien life in the Milky Way. The last fact is that the "Drake Equation" is the best chance scientists have discovered so far to find alien civilizations. In conclusion, the article discusses alien life potentially being in the Milky Way, our own galaxy.

Source: popsci.com (specific article not found)

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro




Original

Crocodiles ancient ancestors might have walked on two legs instead of four legs

This article is talking about how crocodiles ancestors may had walked on two legs. On fact is that 100 million years ago in South Korea there were crocodiles that roamed with their hind legs. Another fact is that researchers found series of a 9-inch-long creature called crocodylomorph. Third fact is that the crocodylomorph are extinct relative to the crocodiles. Last fact is that the crocodylomorph's footprints were found in Sacheon City. In conclusion the article is talking about how crocodiles have ancestors that might have walked in two legs.

Edits


Crocodiles ancient ancestors might have walked on two legs instead of four legs

***Remember that in headlines, all significant words should be capitalized. Include an apostrophe after "crocodiles" to indicate that the word is possessive and plural instead of just plural.

Edited headline: Crocodiles' Ancient Ancestors Might Have Walked on Two Legs Instead of Four

This article is talking about how crocodiles ancestors may had walked on two legs.

***Add a possessive apostrophe after "crocodiles". Change "had" to "have", because "may" already indicates that it happened in the past so your verb shouldn't be in past tense.

Edited sentence: This article is talking about how crocodiles' ancestors may have walked on two legs.

On fact is that 100 million years ago in South Korea there were crocodiles that roamed with their hind legs.

***Change "on" to "one". Try adding a word like "only" after "with" to make this more specific, since technically crocodiles roam with their hind legs (and their front legs) all the time.

Edited sentence: One fact is that 100 million years ago in South Korea there were crocodiles that roamed with only their hind legs.

Another fact is that researchers found series of a 9-inch-long creature called crocodylomorph.

***The word "series" doesn't make much sense here, in the context of your sentence; replace it with a word like "evidence". Add an article like "the" before "crocodylomorph", because it's a noun.

Edited sentence: Another fact is that researchers found evidence of a 9-inch-long creature called the crocodylomorph.

Third fact is that the crocodylomorph are extinct relative to the crocodiles.

***Try leaving out the "fact" part of this sentence to avoid repeating yourself so often; it will be clear this is a fact from the article without you explicitly stating so. Change "are" to "is" because your subject, the crocodylomorph, is singular. Change "to" to "of".

Edited sentence: According to the article, the crocodylomorph is an extinct relative of the crocodiles.

Last fact is that the crocodylomorph's footprints were found in Sacheon City.

***"Last fact" can be committed here, as well, to improve the fluidity of your sentence. Remember, though, that phrases like "third/last fact" need to have an article in front of them.

Edited sentence: The crocodylomorph's footprints were found in Sacheon City.

In conclusion the article is talking about how crocodiles have ancestors that might have walked in two legs.

***Add a comma after "in conclusion". Switch "in" to "on".

Edited sentence: In conclusion, the article is talking about how crocodiles have ancestors that might have walked on two legs.

Final Edit

***Remember that you must always include a full source. Work on your subject-verb agreement and your preposition usage; certain prepositions will work in some contexts but not in others. Also, instead of keeping the beginning of each sentence the same with "(quantifying word) fact", try either omitting a couple uses of these or changing a couple of them to another phrase, like "according to the article". If you do use the phrases "second fact", "third fact", "last fact", etc., they must have an article like "the" or "a" in front of them, especially when they are beginning your sentence.

Edited paragraph:

Crocodiles' Ancient Ancestors Might Have Walked on Two Legs Instead of Four

This article is talking about how crocodiles' ancestors may have walked on two legs. One fact is that 100 million years ago in South Korea there were crocodiles that roamed with only their hind legs. Another fact is that researchers found evidence of a 9-inch-long creature called the crocodylomorph. According to the article, the crocodylomorph is an extinct relative of the crocodiles. The crocodylomorph's footprints were found in Sacheon City. In conclusion, the article is talking about how crocodiles have ancestors that might have walked on two legs.

Source: ?

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro






Original


Is police brutality a thing


I think that police brutality is a thing.One reason is that George Floyd died by a white police officer when he didn't even deserve to die.Another reason is that even if George Floyd did bad things nobody deserves to die.Also,white people do some bad stuff but when black people do them they get killed.The Last reason is that when a prisoner says they can't breathe then the police officer should let it go but he didn't.In conclusion that's why police brutality is a thing. P.S PYE made me do this

Edits


Is police brutality a thing

***Since this is your title/headline, capitalize all the significant words. Also, try replacing the vague word "thing" with a more specific phrase like "real issue".

Edited title: Is Police Brutality a Real Issue?

I think that police brutality is a thing.

***Good.

One reason is that George Floyd died by a white police officer when he didn't even deserve to die.

***Include a space before the beginning of this sentence, but otherwise, good.

Another reason is that even if George Floyd did bad things nobody deserves to die.

***Once again, include a space between the beginning of this sentence and the period that precedes it. Add a comma before "nobody", because it is a separate clause.

Edited sentence: Another reason is that even if George Floyd did bad things, nobody deserves to die.

Also,white people do some bad stuff but when black people do them they get killed.

***Add a space before the beginning of this sentence. Add another space before "white", so that it's clear the comma belongs to "also" and not the second clause.

Edited sentence: Also, white people do some bad stuff but when black people do them they get killed.

The Last reason is that when a prisoner says they can't breathe then the police officer should let it go but he didn't.

***Add a space before the beginning of this sentence. "Last" should not be capitalized because it's not a proper noun and it isn't the first word of your sentence. Also, add commas after "breathe" and "go", and delete "then" to increase the fluidity of your sentence.

Edited sentence: The last reason is that when a prisoner says they can't breathe, the police officer should let it go, but he didn't.

In conclusion that's why police brutality is a thing.

***Add a space before this sentence, and a comma after "in conclusion". Instead of repeating the phrase "is a thing", try a different, more specific phrase like "is a real issue and should be acknowledged."

Edited sentence: In conclusion, that's why police brutality is a real issue and should be acknowledged.

Final Edit

***Overall, very good! Just make sure to place a space after every period so that your sentences aren't running together, and try to avoid direct repetition, especially with words like "thing" and "stuff" that could be replaced with more precise words. Also, your note at the end is acknowledged and appreciated, but it isn't necessary for you to include in your paragraphs.

Edited paragraph:

Is Police Brutality a Real Issue?

I think that police brutality is a thing. One reason is that George Floyd died by a white police officer when he didn't even deserve to die. Another reason is that even if George Floyd did bad things, nobody deserves to die. Also, white people do some bad stuff but when black people do them they get killed. The last reason is that when a prisoner says they can't breathe, the police officer should let it go, but he didn't. In conclusion, that's why police brutality is a real issue and should be acknowledged.

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro




Original

Nature Helps Incarcerated Moms and Children Bond

The article is talking about children and incarcerated moms bonding more than at home watching and playing video games. One fact is that the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers and children bonding with each other more often. The text says that "Many incarcerated people find it difficult to maintain connections with loved ones, especially children." This shows that incarcerated people can still make bonds with children or other people even if they couldn't before.Third fact is that incarcerated mothers are mothers that are in prison after what they did and don't really spend time with their children but Iowa Correctional Institution for Women changed that. Last fact is that children and incarcerated mothers didn't see each other because of a dramatic event or the incarcerated mothers did something bad that affected the laws. In conclusion the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women are helping incarcerated mothers bond with their child or children.

SOURCE:popsci.com

Edits


Nature Helps Incarcerated Moms and Children Bond

***Good.

The article is talking about children and incarcerated moms bonding more than at home watching and playing video games.

***You're missing detail in this sentence. When you have a word like "more than", you need to have both "sides" of that statement clarified. What activity helps them bond "more than" playing video games? If it's spending time together outside, include that in your sentence.

Edited sentence: The article is talking about children and incarcerated moms bonding more by spending time together outside than at home watching and playing video games.

One fact is that the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers and children bonding with each other more often.

***Delete the extra space before “Iowa”. After you say “one fact”, try adding a phrase like “from the article” to clarify where your facts are coming from. Change “bonding” to “bond” for the correct form of this verb.

Edited sentence: One fact from the article is that the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers and children bond with each other more often.

The text says that "Many incarcerated people find it difficult to maintain connections with loved ones, especially children."

***Good job with varying your introductory phrases and using a correctly cited quote from the article. When you have an introduction that leads directly into a quote without a comma, the first letter of your quote shouldn’t be capitalized unless it’s a proper noun. This way, it looks like a cohesive, integrated sentence.

Edited sentence: The text says that "many incarcerated people find it difficult to maintain connections with loved ones, especially children."

This shows that incarcerated people can still make bonds with children or other people even if they couldn't before.

***Good. Make sure that when you say “this shows”, that the evidence you pulled from the article actually says what you are saying it does. The quote you have only says that it’s difficult for them, not that they can still make bonds. If that is said later in the article but not this particular quote, then you should indicate that.

Edited sentence: This article shows that incarcerated people can still make bonds with children or other people even if they couldn't before.

Third fact is that incarcerated mothers are mothers that are in prison after what they did and don't really spend time with their children but Iowa Correctional Institution for Women changed that.

***Make sure there is a space after every period. You need an article before “third fact” because it’s a noun at the beginning of your sentence, and “third” is an adjective, not an article. Delete “are mothers that are in prison after what they did and”; it is redundant after “incarcerated mothers” and only confuses the fluidity of your sentence. Instead of saying “changed”, say “has been changing”. This implies that the ICIW’s work in this area is ongoing, and is not something that has definitively ended.

Edited sentence: A third fact is that incarcerated mothers don't really spend time with their children, but the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women has been changing that.

Last fact is that children and incarcerated mothers didn't see each other because of a dramatic event or the incarcerated mothers did something bad that affected the laws.

***For fluidity, delete “Last fact is that”. (If you kept it, you would need an article in front of “last fact”). You don’t always need to state that something is a fact in order for it to be recognizable as a fact, as long as what you are saying is what is correctly paraphrased from the article. Add “because” after “or” to make sure it applies to both of your clauses. Instead of saying “something bad that affected the laws”, try replacing it with “something that violated important laws”. It is more specific and explains the situation better.

Edited sentence: Children and incarcerated mothers often don’t see each other because of a dramatic event, or because the incarcerated mothers did something that violated important laws.

In conclusion the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women are helping incarcerated mothers bond with their child or children.

***There should be a comma after the introductory phrase “in conclusion”. Because the subject here is a single organization, the verb following it should be in its singular form, “is”.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers bond with their child or children.

Final Edit

***Overall, you need to work on adding detail to your sentences and overall paragraph. For instance, your headline mentions nature being a key element to the bonding, but you do not mention nature or the outdoors at all in your paragraph. This can be confusing and can make your summary seem incomplete or even inaccurate. You should also work on making sure every noun that needs an article has one, and you should proofread your verbs to make sure they agree with the subject and/or are in the correct form of speech (i.e. bond vs. bonding). Also, ‘’’please include the entire URL for your source for every paragraph’’’.

Edited paragraph:

Nature Helps Incarcerated Moms and Children Bond

The article is talking about children and incarcerated moms bonding more by spending time together outside than at home watching and playing video games. One fact from the article is that the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers and children bond with each other more often. The text says that "many incarcerated people find it difficult to maintain connections with loved ones, especially children." This article shows that incarcerated people can still make bonds with children or other people even if they couldn't before. A third fact is that incarcerated mothers don't really spend time with their children, but the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women has been changing that. Children and incarcerated mothers often don’t see each other because of a dramatic event, or because the incarcerated mothers did something that violated important laws. In conclusion, the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women is helping incarcerated mothers bond with their child or children.

Source: popsci.com

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro




Original


SPACEX and NASA is launching today at 4:33 p.m

The article is saying that NASA and SPACEX is launching a rocketship. One fact is that they are live and getting the astronauts ready to go to earth. Second fact is that the mission will mark two historic milestones. Third fact is that NASA's program has started since 2011.Last fact is that NASA has an ability to be a customer.In conclusion that's why NASA and SpaceX is working together to launch a rocketship. SOURCE-popsci.com

Edits


SPACEX and NASA is launching today at 4:33 p.m

***SpaceX should not be all capital letters, like NASA. Because the verb "to be" is referring to both NASA and SpaceX, it should be in its plural form, "are", not "is". Also, remember to capitalize all significant words in a headline.

Edited headline: SpaceX and NASA Are Launching Today at 4:33 p.m.

The article is saying that NASA and SPACEX is launching a rocketship.

***Delete the unnecessary capitalization in SpaceX. Like with your headline, change the verb "is" to its plural form, "are", because it is referring to more than one subject.

Edited sentence: The article is saying that NASA and SpaceX are launching a rocketship.

One fact is that they are live and getting the astronauts ready to go to earth.

***Make sure that you are including correct details in your article summary - the astronauts are not getting ready to go to Earth; they are being launched from Earth to the International Space Station. Also, Earth should always be capitalized when you are using it to refer to our planet. Instead of just saying "they are live", say "they are live-streaming", which is more specific and makes it easier to understand your details.

Edited sentence: One fact is that they are live-streaming the event and getting the astronauts ready to go from Earth to the International Space Station.

Second fact is that the mission will mark two historic milestones.

***Remember, you need to have an article like "the" or "a" before a phrase like "second fact". Also, you need some more details in this sentence. You mention two historic milestones, and it would improve your sentence to include some reference to what those milestones actually are.

Edited sentence: A second fact is that the mission will mark two historic milestones, one of which is the first time since 2011 that humans will go to the space station from U.S. soil.

Third fact is that NASA's program has started since 2011.

***You need an article in front of "third fact". Again, make sure you are getting your facts correct here. A more correct way to phrase this would be "NASA's space shuttle program has not run since the last shuttle was retired in 2011." This is better because your sentence implies NASA has been running this program since 2011 when actually that was just the last time (until now) that they ran this program. It's a subtle difference, but it's important. When you are phrasing things in your own words, make sure you are still summarizing the facts that the article provides and that you're not phrasing your sentences to indicate something is a fact when it's not technically true.

Edited sentence: A third fact is that NASA's space shuttle program has not run since the last shuttle was retired in 2011.

Last fact is that NASA has an ability to be a customer.

***Once again, remember to include an article at the beginning of your sentence if you are going to start with a phrase like "(first/second/last) fact". There should be a space before the beginning of this sentence. This is another sentence where you need a little more detail from the article in order for your sentence to make sense. What about this mission gives NASA the opportunity to be a customer? Who are they a customer of?

Edited sentence: The last fact is that this mission gives NASA the ability to be a customer of companies like SpaceX.

In conclusion that's why NASA and SpaceX is working together to launch a rocketship.

***Remember, there should be a space after every period. Like in previous sentences, you have more than one subject here, so your verb needs to agree with them by being in the plural form "are" instead of "is".

Edited sentence: In conclusion, that's why NASA and SpaceX are working together to launch a rocketship.

Final Edit

***Overall, good effort. You need to include a source for your article every time. Make sure to always include a space after a period. Also, keep an eye on your subject-verb agreement, especially when it comes to "is" vs. "are", and remember to add articles before your nouns, especially at the beginning of a sentence. Finally, read over your paragraph after you've written it, and try to read it from the perspective of someone who is completely new to the topic you're discussing. There are many sentences where just a few extra details will help to vastly improve your reader's comprehension of what you're talking about. Also, when you're rereading, try to make sure that in the process of using your own words to summarize the article, you haven't strayed from what is actually true and stated in the article.

Edited paragraph:

SpaceX and NASA Are Launching Today at 4:33 p.m.

The article is saying that NASA and SpaceX are launching a rocketship. One fact is that they are live-streaming the event and getting the astronauts ready to go from Earth to the International Space Station. A second fact is that the mission will mark two historic milestones, one of which is the first time since 2011 that humans will go to the space station from U.S. soil. A third fact is that NASA's space shuttle program has not run since the last shuttle was retired in 2011. The last fact is that this mission gives NASA the ability to be a customer of companies like SpaceX. In conclusion, that's why NASA and SpaceX are working together to launch a rocketship.

Source: ?

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro



Original

This Image Will Show You How A Planet Is Made

This article talks about how a planet is made. One reason is that the European Southern Observatory’s Very Large Telescope saw a birth of a planet. Another reason is that rose like spirals which give birth to baby planets. Third fact is that researchers say that this spiral twist is caused by a baby planet. Last fact is that the rose like spirals can be a model of a planet formation.In conclusion that's why the article is saying that the image that you see can explain a birth of a baby planet. SOURCE-popsci.com

Edits


This Image Will Show You How A Planet Is Made

***This is a good headline! To make it a little bit easier to read and more eye-catching, change "will show you" to just "shows". Also, because "a" is an article, it doesn't need to be capitalized in a title.

Edited headline: This Image Shows How a Planet Is Made

This article talks about how a planet is made.

***Good.

One reason is that the European Southern Observatory’s Very Large Telescope saw a birth of a planet.

***Eliminate the extra space between "the" and "European". Also, good job on using a different word than "fact" to begin this sentence! Variety is good in writing. One note on the word "reason": if you are going to use this instead of "fact", there should be another detail attached, because "reason" indicates that it is a reason for something. For instance, an acceptable way to use "reason" here would be to say, "one reason this article was written is that the European..." and so on. "Reason" implies some other action that you are explaining the "why" for.

Edited sentence: One reason this article was written is that the European Southern Observatory’s Very Large Telescope saw the birth of a planet.

Another reason is that rose like spirals which give birth to baby planets.

***To clarify my last edit: because you already established the "why" of the word "reason" in the previous sentence, you won't need to do it again here. In this sentence, "rose like" should be "rose-like", because you are using it as an adjective, not as a separated noun-and-comparison. You also need more details in this sentence, because it is not a complete sentence as you've written it.

Edited sentence: Another reason is that the image taken by the telescope shows rose-like spirals, which give birth to baby planets.

Third fact is that researchers say that this spiral twist is caused by a baby planet.

***You don't necessarily need to begin every fact sentence with some sort of introduction that indicates it's a fact sentence; an informed reader will know you are writing a fact without you directly stating it every time. Also, by saying "the third fact", you imply this is a separate fact from the one in your second sentence, which it really isn't; they go together in terms of the general idea. To make your sentences flow better and to solve this issue, eliminate the phrase "third fact" from this sentence.

Edited sentence: Researchers say that this spiral twist is caused by the process that forms a baby planet.

Last fact is that the rose like spirals can be a model of a planet formation.

***Remember to include an article like "a" or "the" before the phrase "last fact", which you should also do with a phrase like "third/second fact". Also, like in the previous sentences, "rose like" should have a hyphen between the words to make it a single adjective. If you add a few words to the middle of this sentence as I will show in the edited version, you can make this sentence into a cause-and-effect sentence so that it flows better with your other sentences.

Edited sentence: A last fact from this article is that the rose-like spirals can, therefore, be used as a model for planet formation.

In conclusion that's why the article is saying that the image that you see can explain a birth of a baby planet.

***Good! Just swap out the article "a" in front of birth to "the" to make it more specific. Also, remember to include a space between the period that comes before this sentence and the first word, "In".

Edited sentence: In conclusion, that's why the article is saying that the image that you see can explain the birth of a baby planet.

Final Edit

***Remember, you must include a source every time you write a paragraph summary. Good job on improving your word variation, and by including a space after most of your periods. Remember to include articles before nouns, especially at the beginning of sentences, and to add details that make your sentences fit together better, instead of treating each sentence as entirely separate from the others in the paragraph.

Edited paragraph:

This Image Shows How a Planet Is Made

This article talks about how a planet is made. One reason this article was written is that the European Southern Observatory’s Very Large Telescope saw the birth of a planet. Another reason is that the image taken by the telescope shows rose-like spirals, which give birth to baby planets. Researchers say that this spiral twist is caused by the process that forms a baby planet. A last fact from this article is that the rose-like spirals can, therefore, be used as a model for planet formation. In conclusion, that's why the article is saying that the image that you see can explain the birth of a baby planet.

Source: ?

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro



Original


NASA's Weird Plane Design Can Be a New Futuristic Airplane
The article is talking about a new type of plane design that could be a new type of plane.One fact is that the plane's flashiest feature is wings that literally fold up at their tips. Another fact is that the wings stretch out for a long distance and then hinge up at the tips when it’s on the ground.Third fact is that the new 777x aircraft designed to carry as many as 426 passenger.Last fact is that the resulting fuel savings is the whole point.In conclusion the article is talking about a new plane design that could be a new plane. source-popsci.com

Edits


NASA's Weird Plane Design Can Be a New Futuristic Airplane

***This is a pretty good headline; I like the details you include. "Strange" would probably be a better choice than "weird" because it is more formal, and "could" would be a better word choice than "can" because it implies that this hasn't been released or used as a new airplane yet.

Edited headline: NASA's Strange Plane Design Could Be a New Futuristic Airplane

The article is talking about a new type of plane design that could be a new type of plane.

***Instead of repeating the phrase "a new type of plane" twice in the same sentence, try to switch up your weird choice. For instance, instead of the word "new" you could use the word "innovative", and you can then eliminate the first "type of plane" in order to avoid repetition, but the sentence will still make sense.

Edited sentence: The article is talking about an innovative design that could be a new type of plane.

One fact is that the plane's flashiest feature is wings that literally fold up at their tips.

***Instead of starting out with "one fact", consider using a different sentence starter, like "according to the article". This helps your sentences sound different and fit together better. The reader will still recognize it as a "fact sentence" without you directly needing to say the word "fact" every time.

Edited sentence: According to the article, the plane's flashiest feature is wings that literally fold up at their tips.

Another fact is that the wings stretch out for a long distance and then hinge up at the tips when it’s on the ground.

***Good! What makes this feature unusual, though? Is this different from how other planes are designed? You can add details like this in your fact sentence to demonstrate why these facts are worth writing an article about.

Edited sentence: Another fact is that the wings stretch out for a long distance and then hinge up at the tips when it’s on the ground, which is different from most standard plane designs.

Third fact is that the new 777x aircraft designed to carry as many as 426 passenger.

***Remember that when you have an adjective and then a noun at the beginning of your sentence, like "third fact", there needs to be an article like "the" or "a" in front of it. Also, because 426 is more than one, "passenger" should be plural, not singular. You are also missing a verb before "designed" because the aircraft is what was designed, not what did the designing.

Edited sentence: A third fact is that the new 777x aircraft is designed to carry as many as 426 passengers.

Last fact is that the resulting fuel savings is the whole point.

***Like with the last sentence, you need an article in front of "last". Also, because the verb "is" applies to the plural noun "fuel savings", the verb should be in its plural form, "are". You also should add some additional details here for this sentence to make more sense in the context of the paragraph: what, exactly, do the fuel savings result from? What are they the whole point of, exactly?

Edited sentence: The last fact is that the resulting fuel savings from the increased passenger capacity are the whole point of the new design.

In conclusion the article is talking about a new plane design that could be a new plane.

***There should be a comma after "in conclusion". Also, try phrasing your conclusion sentence in a different way from your first sentence, to make your overall paragraph less repetitive. For instance, instead of using the word "talking" again, try "discussing" instead. And instead of saying "new plane" twice, try changing the second time you use it to something like "that could signal a new future for aircraft". This is a way to rephrase your introduction sentence and keep your sentence general, but make it slightly different and a good way to make the reader think even after they're done reading your summary.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, the article is discussing a new plane design that could signal a new future for aircraft.

Final Edit

***Overall, good job. Remember, you must include a source for each article, so that your summary can be checked for plagiarism, and to give credit to the original article that you are paraphrasing from. Try to remember to always put a space after a period; this keeps your sentences clear and separated. Also, you need to have articles like "the" and "a" in front of your nouns when they begin a sentence. The reason this is true with "third fact" and not "one fact" is because "one" can be an adverb (not just an adjective) and therefore doesn't need an article in front of it, but "third" is only an adjective, and so it can't stand on its own without an article. Also, think about ways to rephrase your sentences so you don't repeat the same words! This allows you to convey the same information but in a way that will captivate your reader's attention more efficiently.

Edited paragraph:

NASA's Strange Plane Design Could Be a New Futuristic Airplane

The article is talking about an innovative design that could be a new type of plane. According to the article, the plane's flashiest feature is wings that literally fold up at their tips. Another fact is that the wings stretch out for a long distance and then hinge up at the tips when it’s on the ground, which is different from most standard plane designs. A third fact is that the new 777x aircraft is designed to carry as many as 426 passengers. The last fact is that the resulting fuel savings from the increased passenger capacity are the whole point of the new design. In conclusion, the article is discussing a new plane design that could signal a new future for aircraft.

Source: ?

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro



Original

Jupiter Has a New Scary Look

This article talks about the look of Jupiter changed into something scary.one fact is that scientists have known for a while that the gas giant is characterized by powerful lightning strikes and enormous storm systems.Another fact is that researchers have combined data from a number of imaging systems.Third fact is that Juno,Hubble Space Telescope and Gemini observatory together, these three technological beasts have allowed scientists to understand and image Jupiter’s weather in more detail than ever before.Last fact is that by selecting and combining only the clearest images from each of the nine angles, the researchers were able to create one, near-perfect image of the distant planet. source-popsci.com

Edits


Jupiter has a New Scary Look

***I like your title! In order to keep your two adjectives in the correct order, however, either add a comma after "New" or switch the placement of "New" and "Scary". "has" should also be capitalized, because it is the verb of your title.

Edited title: Jupiter Has a New, Scary Look

This article talks about the look of Jupiter changed into something scary.

***You need a preposition in this sentence in order to have the word "changed" make sense and to make it more fluid. Add "which has" after "Jupiter". Also, consider changing the word "look" to a word better suited to this sentence, like "image", which is more descriptive and formal than the word "look".

Edited sentence: This article talks about the image of Jupiter, which has changed into something scary.

one fact is that scientists have known for a while that the gas giant is characterized by powerful lightning strikes and enormous storm systems.

***Remember, the first word of a sentence should always be capitalized. For fluidity, this sentence should delete the first "is" and add it instead after "while", and the sentence should also include what the fact is about, which will make it less vague.

Edited sentence: One fact about the planet that scientists have known for a while is that the gas giant is characterized by powerful lightning strikes and enormous storm systems.

Another fact is that researchers have combined data from a number of imaging systems.

***Consider adding some more information to this sentence. Why did they combine data from different imaging systems? What information does the data tell us?

Edited sentence: Another fact is that researchers have combined data on Jupiter's atmosphere from a number of imaging systems.

Third fact is that Juno,Hubble Space Telescope and Gemini observatory together, these three technological beasts have allowed scientists to understand and image Jupiter's weather in more detail than ever before.

***You need to include a preposition before the first noun in your sentence, like "a" or "the" before "third fact". Also, make sure you include a space after each comma, and capitalize each part of a proper noun, so "observatory" should be capitalized because it is part of the name. "Three technological beasts" should be switched to the beginning of your sentence in order to maintain fluidity and proper sentence construction. Also, because "image" is a noun, change it to something like "view" instead, so that it can act as a verb, just like "understand" does.

Edited sentence: A third fact is that three technological beasts, Juno, the Hubble Space Telescope and the Gemini observatory together, have allowed scientists to understand and view Jupiter's weather in more detail than ever before.

Last fact is that by selecting and combining only the clearest images from each of the nine angles, the researchers were able to create one, near-perfect image of the distant planet.

***Instead of repeating the word "fact" again, consider saying something like, "according to the article", which still indicates that you are stating a fact, but it is a new and interesting sentence beginning. Additionally, after "each of the nine angles", you should add more information to indicate where the angles are coming from; for instance, "taken by the imaging equipment". You do not need a comma after "one".

Edited sentence: According to the article, by selecting and combining only the clearest images from each of the nine angles, the researchers were able to create one near-perfect image of the distant planet.

Final Edit

***Overall, good effort! Please always include a space after each period, so that the sentences are separated, and always include a source, which is missing from this article summary. Also, make sure you keep track of how your sentences sound when they're all put together, and not just how they sound separately, and make sure to include prepositions like "the" and "a" before your nouns, especially at the beginning of sentences.

Edited paragraph:

Jupiter Has a New, Scary Look

This article talks about the image of Jupiter, which has changed into something scary. One fact about the planet that scientists have known for a while is that the gas giant is characterized by powerful lightning strikes and enormous storm systems. Another fact is that researchers have combined data on Jupiter's atmosphere from a number of imaging systems. A third fact is that three technological beasts, Juno, the Hubble Space Telescope and the Gemini observatory together, have allowed scientists to understand and view Jupiter's weather in more detail than ever before. According to the article, by selecting and combining only the clearest images from each of the nine angles, the researchers were able to create one near-perfect image of the distant planet.

Source: ?

Edited by Natasha Vatalaro




There Are Murder Hornet In The World

This article is saying that the murder hornet which is actually an Asian giant hornet that you don't want to mess with.One reason is that the murder hornet is actually a really big insect, almost up to 2 inches.Second reason is that the stinger size is about a quarter of an inch long.Third fact is that it only takes a few hornets to inject large amount of venom.Last reason is that they are serious honey bee predators that feed parts to their offspring.In conclusion murder hornets are bees that you really, really don't want to mess with. SOURCE:popsci.com


There Are Murder Hornet In The World

*** Since “Are” indicates that the title has a plural subject, add a “s” at the end of “Hornet.” Words like "in the" do not need to be capitalized.

Edited title: There Are Murder Hornets in the World

This article is saying that the murder hornet which is actually an Asian giant hornet that you don't want to mess with.

*** Remove “which.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view instead. To do this, change “you” to “people.”

Edited sentence: This article is saying that the murder hornet is actually an Asian giant hornet that people don't want to mess with.

One reason is that the murder hornet is actually a really big insect, almost up to 2 inches.

*** Spell out numbers from one to ten. Here, write out “2” as “two.” Move “almost” after “to.”

Edited sentence: One reason is that the murder hornet is actually a really big insect, up to almost two inches.

Second reason is that the stinger size is about a quarter of an inch long.

*** Change “Second” to “Another.” Change “stinger size” to “size of its stinger.”

Edited sentence: Another reason is that the size of its stinger is about a quarter of an inch long.

Third fact is that it only takes a few hornets to inject large amount of venom.

*** This sentence can start with “It only takes…” Add “a” after “inject.”

Edited sentence: It only takes a few hornets to inject a large amount of venom.

Last reason is that they are serious honey bee predators that feed parts to their offspring.

*** This sentence can start with “They are serious…” Add “of the honey bees” after “parts.”

Edited sentence: They are serious honey bee predators that feed parts of the honey bees to their offspring.

In conclusion murder hornets are bees that you really, really don't want to mess with.

*** Hornets are not the same as bees, so replace “bees” with “insects.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view instead. To do this, change “you” to “people.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion murder hornets are insects that people really, really don't want to mess with.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full link to the article. Add the other information that comes after "popsci.com."

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/murder-hornet-bee/

*** Include the full link to the article. Please add another space between articles to separate them. Also remember to add a space after the period at the end of each sentence.

Fully edited article:

There Are Murder Hornets in the World

This article is saying that the murder hornet is actually an Asian giant hornet that people don't want to mess with. One reason is that the murder hornet is actually a really big insect, up to almost two inches. Another reason is that the size of its stinger is about a quarter of an inch long. It only takes a few hornets to inject a large amount of venom. They are serious honey bee predators that feed parts of the honey bees to their offspring. In conclusion murder hornets are insects that people really, really don't want to mess with.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/murder-hornet-bee/

Edited by Penny Yagake






Ancient frogs came across America through Australia by hopping across Antartica

The article says that ancient frogs hop across Antartica to get to Australia from America.One reason is that the seven croakers were found on an ice wasteland.Another fact is that hese frogs got their start on one massive ancient continent, allowing them to branch off around the world.Third fact is that the lost Antarctic critters are close cousins of frogs we’re already familiar with, their remains also provide insight into what the area’s climate was like back before it froze over. Last fact is that the article says "This newly discovered frog “ties” the two in a way, Mors adds, which provides support for the existence of Gondwana—an ancient “supercontinent” that formed after the original landmass of Pangea spilt in two."In conclusion the croakers hopped across Antartica to get to Australia. SOURCE:posci.com


Ancient frogs came across America through Australia by hopping across Antartica

*** Capitalize all words in this title except “by.” Add a “c” after the “r” in “Antartica.”

Edited title: Ancient Frogs Came Across America Through Australia by Hopping Across Antarctica

The article says that ancient frogs hop across Antartica to get to Australia from America.

*** Since this occurred in the past, “hop” should be in past tense. Add “ped” at the end of “hop.” Add a “c” after the “r” in “Antartica.”

Edited sentence: The article says that ancient frogs hopped across Antarctica to get to Australia from America.

One reason is that the seven croakers were found on an ice wasteland.

*** According to the article, “seven” refers to the number of continents that the frogs were found on, not the number of frogs. Remove “seven.” Change “an” to “the” and change “ice” to “icy.” Add “known as Antarctica” after “wasteland.”

Edited sentence: One reason is that the croakers were found on the icy wasteland known as Antarctica.

Another fact is that hese frogs got their start on one massive ancient continent, allowing them to branch off around the world.

*** “hese” should be spelled as “these” with a “t” at the beginning of the word. When borrowing a phrase from the article, add quotation marks at the beginning and at the end of the phrase.

Edited sentence: Another fact is that “these frogs got their start on one massive ancient continent, allowing them to branch off around the world.”

Third fact is that the lost Antarctic critters are close cousins of frogs we’re already familiar with, their remains also provide insight into what the area’s climate was like back before it froze over.

*** When borrowing a phrase from the article, add quotation marks at the beginning and at the end of the phrase. Do not just copy the phrase from the article. This sentence can begin with the phrase “The article also states.”

Edited sentence: The article also states that “the lost Antarctic critters are close cousins of frogs we’re already familiar with, their remains also provide insight into what the area’s climate was like back before it froze over.”

Last fact is that the article says "This newly discovered frog “ties” the two in a way, Mors adds, which provides support for the existence of Gondwana—an ancient “supercontinent” that formed after the original landmass of Pangea spilt in two."

*** “spilt” should be spelled as “split” — the “i” and the “l” should switch places. When there is another quote inside a quote, place single quotation marks around the inside quote. This sentence can start with “The article says…”

Edited sentence: The article says "This newly discovered frog ‘ties’ the two in a way, Mors adds, which provides support for the existence of Gondwana—an ancient “supercontinent” that formed after the original landmass of Pangea split in two."

In conclusion the croakers hopped across Antartica to get to Australia.

*** Add a “c” after the “r” in “Antarctica.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion the croakers hopped across Antarctica to get to Australia.

SOURCE:posci.com

*** Include the full source. Include all the letters and symbols that come after “popsci.com.”

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/antarctic-frog/

*** Watch out for misspelled words — note where they have been corrected in this article. When borrowing a phrase from the article, add quotation marks at the beginning and at the end of the phrase. Do not just copy the phrase from the article. Remember to add a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Include the full link to the article.

Fully edited article:

Ancient Frogs Came Across America Through Australia by Hopping Across Antarctica

The article says that ancient frogs hopped across Antarctica to get to Australia from America. One reason is that the croakers were found on the icy wasteland known as Antarctica. Another fact is that “these frogs got their start on one massive ancient continent, allowing them to branch off around the world.” The article also states that “the lost Antarctic critters are close cousins of frogs we’re already familiar with, their remains also provide insight into what the area’s climate was like back before it froze over.” The article says "This newly discovered frog ‘ties’ the two in a way, Mors adds, which provides support for the existence of Gondwana—an ancient “supercontinent” that formed after the original landmass of Pangea split in two." In conclusion the croakers hopped across Antarctica to get to Australia.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/antarctic-frog/

Edited by Penny Yagake






There Are 13 free online sources to entertain your kids and educate them. The article says that the 13 sources could entertain and educate kids.One fact is that to collaborate with parents as we wait out the pandemic, a handful of online platforms, services, and publishers have made their content available to keep students learning while in lockdown.Another fact is that some have even created material specifically to guide parents and teachers during the transition to homeschooling.Third fact is that these are stressful times, and just as you may not feel like teaching yourself how to play guitar, students need a little leeway too. Last fact is that even if you don’t live in New York, the state’s library system has made some of its remote learning resources for kids and teenagers available online.In conclusion you could entertain and educate kids during the coronavirus. SOURCE:popsci.com


There Are 13 free online sources to entertain your kids and educate them.

*** If this is the title, capitalize every word except particles such as “to” and “in.” Remove the period at the end of the title. I have suggested a more condensed title below.

Edited title: 13 Free Online Resources for Kids

The article says that the 13 sources could entertain and educate kids.

*** “says that the” could be replaced with “is about.” For this article, write “sources” as “resources.”

Edited sentence: The article is about 13 resources that could entertain and educate kids.

One fact is that to collaborate with parents as we wait out the pandemic, a handful of online platforms, services, and publishers have made their content available to keep students learning while in lockdown.

*** Do not just copy phrases from the article. Credit the article by adding “According to the article” at the beginning of this sentence.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “to collaborate with parents as we wait out the pandemic, a handful of online platforms, services, and publishers have made their content available to keep students learning while in lockdown.”

Another fact is that some have even created material specifically to guide parents and teachers during the transition to homeschooling.

*** Credit the article by adding “The article adds” at the beginning of this sentence.

Edited sentence: The article adds, “Some have even created material specifically to guide parents and teachers during the transition to homeschooling.”

Third fact is that these are stressful times, and just as you may not feel like teaching yourself how to play guitar, students need a little leeway too.

*** Credit the article by adding “The article also states” at the beginning of this sentence.

Edited sentence: The article also states, “these are stressful times, and just as you may not feel like teaching yourself how to play guitar, students need a little leeway too.”

Last fact is that even if you don’t live in New York, the state’s library system has made some of its remote learning resources for kids and teenagers available online.

*** Credit the article by adding “Additionally, the article states” at the beginning of this sentence.

Edited sentence: Additionally, the article states, “Even if you don’t live in New York, the state’s library system has made some of its remote learning resources for kids and teenagers available online.”

In conclusion you could entertain and educate kids during the coronavirus.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Here, you can replaced “you” with parents since they are addressed in the article. Replace “could” with “can.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion parents can entertain and educate kids during the coronavirus quarantine.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full link to the article.

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/diy/free-learning-educational-resources-online/

*** Do not just copy phrases from the article. Credit the article by adding phrases such as “According to the article” before quoting phrases from the article. If you use a quote, explain it in a sentence using your own words. Make sure there is a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Write out the full link to the article. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.

Fully edited article:

13 Free Online Resources for Kids

The article is about 13 resources that could entertain and educate kids. According to the article, “to collaborate with parents as we wait out the pandemic, a handful of online platforms, services, and publishers have made their content available to keep students learning while in lockdown.” The article adds, “Some have even created material specifically to guide parents and teachers during the transition to homeschooling.” The article also states, “these are stressful times, and just as you may not feel like teaching yourself how to play guitar, students need a little leeway too.” Additionally, the article states, “Even if you don’t live in New York, the state’s library system has made some of its remote learning resources for kids and teenagers available online.” In conclusion parents can entertain and educate kids during the coronavirus quarantine.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/diy/free-learning-educational-resources-online/

Edited by Penny Yagake






What Are The Smartest Animal And How Could You Tell The article says we can find out how animals are smart.One fact is that chimpanzees share our brain power as our genetics.Second fact is that elephants can understand the difference between between languages.Third fact is that scientists test animal intelligence by using mirror-self recognition test.Last fact is that bees could identity tons of types of lines.In conclusion you can find out how smart an animal is. SOURCE:popsci.com


What Are The Smartest Animal And How Could You Tell

*** Since this sentence has the plural verb “are,” add a “s” at the end of “Animal.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Here, “you” can be replaced with “People.” Change “Could” to “Can.”

Edited title: What Are The Smartest Animals and How Can People Tell?

The article says we can find out how animals are smart.

*** Remember to add a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Avoid first person point of view (“we”) and use third person point of view only. Here, “we” can be replaced with “people.”

Edited sentence: The article says people can find out how animals are smart.

One fact is that chimpanzees share our brain power as our genetics.

*** “our” can be replaced with “human.” This sentence can start with “Chimpanzees…” The phrase “as our” can be replaced with “and.”

Edited sentence: Chimpanzees share human brain power and genetics.

Second fact is that elephants can understand the difference between between languages.

*** Remove the extra “between.” This sentence can start with “Elephants…”

Edited sentence: Elephants can understand the difference between languages.

Third fact is that scientists test animal intelligence by using mirror-self recognition test.

*** Add “the” before “mirror-self.” This sentence can start with “Scientists…”

Edited sentence: Scientists test animal intelligence by using the mirror-self recognition test.

Last fact is that bees could identity tons of types of lines.

*** Spell “identity” as “identify.” The word “identity” is a noun while “identify” is the verb form. This sentence can mention more about the experiment scientists did with the bees.

Edited sentence: In an experiment, bees could identify the difference between types of lines such as horizontal and vertical lines.

In conclusion you can find out how smart an animal is.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Here, “you” can be replaced with “people.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion people can find out how smart an animal is.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full link to the article.

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/worlds-smartest-animals/

*** Remember to include the full link to the article. Also add a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Watch out for repeated words.

Fully edited article:

What Are The Smartest Animals and How Can People Tell?

The article says people can find out how animals are smart. Chimpanzees share human brain power and genetics. Elephants can understand the difference between languages. Scientists test animal intelligence by using the mirror-self recognition test. In an experiment, bees could identify the difference between types of lines such as horizontal and vertical lines. In conclusion people can find out how smart an animal is.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/worlds-smartest-animals/

Edited by Penny Yagake






Google Taught The Robot Dog Tricks Like The Real Dogs The article says that they could get the dogs to do tricks.One fact is that even if you are a skilled programmer to make the a robotic dog walk will be a hard task.Second fact is that GOOGLE got actual flesh to use in order to examine it.Third fact is that google also used data in order to gain information.Fourth fact is that the robotic dog isn't as flexible as real dogs which is harder to make them move.In conclusion google made a robotic dog do tricks even if it doesn't have a spine to make it flexible. SOURCE:popsci.com


Google Taught The Robot Dog Tricks Like The Real Dogs

*** Change “The” to “A.” Remove the second “The.”

Edited title: Google Taught A Robot Dog Tricks Like Real Dogs

The article says that they could get the dogs to do tricks.

*** Add “robot” before “dogs.” Identify “they” — replace “they” with “Google.”

Edited sentence: The article says that Google could get the robot dogs to do tricks.

One fact is that even if you are a skilled programmer to make the a robotic dog walk will be a hard task.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Change “even if you are” to “even if a person is.” Add a comma after “programmer.” Remove “the” before “a robotic dog.” This sentence can start with “Even…”

Edited sentence: Even if a person is a skilled programmer, to make a robotic dog walk will be a hard task.

Second fact is that GOOGLE got actual flesh to use in order to examine it.

*** According to the article, researchers used “flesh-and-blood dog movements,” not just flesh. “flesh-and-blood dog” refers to a dog that is alive. Only the first letter in “Google” needs to be capitalized. This sentence can start with “Google…”

Edited sentence: Google got actual movements from a live dog to use in order to examine it.

Third fact is that google also used data in order to gain information.

*** Capitalize the first letter in “Google.”

Edited sentence: Google also used data in order to gain information.

Fourth fact is that the robotic dog isn't as flexible as real dogs which is harder to make them move.

*** Change “which is harder to make them move” to “which makes the robotic dog harder to move.” This sentence can start with “The robotic dog…”

Edited sentence: The robotic dog isn’t as flexible as real dogs which makes the robotic dog harder to move.

In conclusion google made a robotic dog do tricks even if it doesn't have a spine to make it flexible.

*** Capitalize the first letter in “Google.” Change “even if” to “even though.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion Google made a robotic dog do tricks even though it doesn’t have a spine to make it flexible.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full URL.

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/technology/google-dog-robot/

*** Make sure there is a space between each sentence. Include the full URL for the source. For company names like “Google,” only the first letter in the name needs to be capitalized. When using words like “they” and “them,” make sure the sentence or the summary identifies who these pronouns are referring to. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.

Fully edited article:

Google Taught A Robot Dog Tricks Like Real Dogs

The article says that Google could get the robot dogs to do tricks. Even if a person is a skilled programmer, to make a robotic dog walk will be a hard task. Google got actual movements from a live dog to use in order to examine it. Google also used data in order to gain information. The robotic dog isn’t as flexible as real dogs which makes the robotic dog harder to move. In conclusion Google made a robotic dog do tricks even though it doesn’t have a spine to make it flexible.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/technology/google-dog-robot/

Edited by Penny Yagake






New study finds out that there are T.rex teens. The article says that expert found smaller type of t.rex.One fact is that t.rex also has teenage growth years like humans.Expert found fossils that are a t.rex but a teen.Another fact is that t.rex are dinosaurs that grow very fast like no other dinosaurs.Last fact is that experts think highly that the fossils are t.rex teens.In conclusion,the fossils are most likely to be t.rex teens. SOURCE:popsci.com


New study finds out that there are T.rex teens.

*** Capitalize each word in this title. A title does not need a period at the end. However, add a space after the period in “T.rex.”

Edited title: New Study Finds Out That There Are T. rex Teens

The article says that expert found smaller type of t.rex.

*** Add a “s” at the end of “expert” since there is more than one expert. Add “a” before “smaller.” Capitalize the “t” in “t.rex” and add a space after the same “t.” Change “The article says that” to “According to the article.”

Edited sentence: According to the article, experts found a smaller type of T. rex.

One fact is that t.rex also has teenage growth years like humans.

*** This sentence can start with “The T. rex also…”

Edited sentence: The T. rex also has teenage growth years like humans.

Expert found fossils that are a t.rex but a teen.

*** Add a “s” at the end of “Expert” since there is more than one expert. Change “are” to “belong to.” Change “teen” to “teenage one.”

Edited sentence: Experts found fossils that belong to a T. rex but a teenage one.

Another fact is that t.rex are dinosaurs that grow very fast like no other dinosaurs.

*** This sentence can start with “T. rex are dinosaurs that grow very fast…”

Edited sentence: T. rex are dinosaurs that grow very fast like no other dinosaurs.

Last fact is that experts think highly that the fossils are t.rex teens.

*** This sentence can start with “Experts think…” Move “highly” after “are” and add “likely” after “highly.”

Edited sentence: Experts think that the fossils are highly likely T. rex teens.

In conclusion,the fossils are most likely to be t.rex teens.

*** Add a space after the comma. Add a space after the period in “t.rex” and capitalize the “t.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion, the fossils are most likely to be T. rex teens.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full URL.

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/t-rex-teenagers-fossils/

*** Include the full URL for the source. Make sure there is a space between each sentence. Also make sure that names are written correctly — the “t” in “t.rex” should be capitalized and there should be a space after the period. Add a “s” at the end of plural nouns, like “experts.”

Fully edited article:

New Study Finds Out That There Are T. rex Teens

According to the article, experts found a smaller type of T. rex. The T. rex also has teenage growth years like humans. Experts found fossils that belong to a T. rex but a teenage one. T. rex are dinosaurs that grow very fast like no other dinosaurs. Experts think that the fossils are highly likely T. rex teens. In conclusion, the fossils are most likely to be T. rex teens.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/t-rex-teenagers-fossils/

Edited by Penny Yagake






How did we figure out what dinosaurs looked like?

The article says that its about how if people know how dinosaurs look like.One fact is that no one has never seen one up in person.Second fact is that paleoartists take informed guesses of how dinosaurs look like.Another fact is that the best skeletons are mostly 90% complete.Last fact is that paleoartists has hard evidence which isnt always true.In conclusion we really don't know how dinosaurs look like.  

SOURCE:popsci.com


How did we figure out what dinosaurs looked like?

*** Capitalize each word in the title. Avoid first person point of view and use third person point of view only - replace “we” with “people.”

Edited title: How Did People Figure Out What Dinosaurs Looked Like?

The article says that its about how if people know how dinosaurs look like.

*** This sentence can start with “The article is about...” Remove “if.” Replace the second “how” with “what.” Since dinosaurs lived in the past, write “look” in past tense - “looked.”

Edited sentence: This article is about how people know what dinosaurs looked like.

One fact is that no one has never seen one up in person.

*** This sentence can start with “No one has…” Change “never” to “ever.” Remove “in.”

Edited sentence: No one has ever seen one in person.

Second fact is that paleoartists take informed guesses of how dinosaurs look like.

*** This sentence can start with “Paleoartists take informed…” Change “take” to “make.” Change “how” to “what.” Since dinosaurs lived in the past, write “look” in past tense - “looked.”

Edited sentence: Paleoartists make informed guesses of what dinosaurs looked like.

Another fact is that the best skeletons are mostly 90% complete.

*** This sentence can start with “The best skeletons…”

Edited sentence: The best skeletons are mostly 90% complete.

Last fact is that paleoartists has hard evidence which isnt always true.

*** Change “has” to “have.” Add an apostrophe before the “t” in “isnt.” This sentence can start with “Paleoartists have hard evidence…”

Edited sentence: Paleoartists have hard evidence which isn’t always true.

In conclusion we really don't know how dinosaurs look like.

*** Change “how” to “what.” Avoid first person point of view and use third person point of view only - replace “we” with “people.” Write “look” in past tense - “looked.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion people really don’t know what dinosaurs looked like.

SOURCE:popsci.com

*** Include the full URL

Edited source: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/dinosaur-drawings-accuracte/

*** Remember to put a space between each sentence. Singular nouns should be followed by singular verbs — for example, “A paleoartist has.” Plural nouns should be followed by plural verbs — for example, “Paleoartists have.” Pay attention to the tense in a sentence. If an event occurred in the past, such as when the dinosaurs lived, the sentence should be in past tense. Avoid first person point of view and use third person point of view only.

Fully edited article:

How Did People Figure Out What Dinosaurs Looked Like?

This article is about how people know what dinosaurs looked like. No one has ever seen one in person. Paleoartists make informed guesses of what dinosaurs looked like. The best skeletons are mostly 90% complete. Paleoartists have hard evidence which isn’t always true. In conclusion people really don’t know what dinosaurs looked like.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/science/dinosaur-drawings-accuracte/

Edited by Penny Yagake








Title:Whats up with this half fish half bird.
The article is saying that that there is fish that looks like a bird.One reason is that there is a video that went viral about the bird fish.Also people are saying that the fish even has a beak like mouth.Another reason is that scientists even say that the fish even looks like a real pigeon.Last reason is that the fish probably has defective cell growth that makes it look like a bird.In conclusion the article is talking about how the fish is similar looking to pigeons.


Title:Whats up with this half fish half bird.

*** You can leave out “Title.” Each word in the title should be capitalized except for particles like “with.” This title is very close to the one from this article: https://www.livescience.com/62816-fish-with-bird-head-explained.html. Please change the title. I have suggested one below.

Edited title: Half-Fish, Half-Bird Found in China

The article is saying that that there is fish that looks like a bird.

*** Change “is saying” to “says.” Remove the first “that.” Add “a” before “fish.”

Edited sentence: The article says that there is a fish that looks like a bird.

One reason is that there is a video that went viral about the bird fish.

*** This sentence can start with “There is a video…”

Edited sentence: There is a video that went viral about the bird fish.

Also people are saying that the fish even has a beak like mouth.

*** Move “also” after “are.” Add a hyphen between “beak” and “like.”

Edited sentence: People are also saying that the fish even has a beak-like mouth.

Another reason is that scientists even say that the fish even looks like a real pigeon.

*** This sentence can start with “Scientists say…” Remove the second “even.”

Edited sentence: Scientists even say that the fish looks like a real pigeon.

Last reason is that the fish probably has defective cell growth that makes it look like a bird.

*** Change the second “that” to “which.” This sentence can start with “The fish probably…”

Edited sentence: The fish probably has defective cell growth which makes it look like a bird.

In conclusion the article is talking about how the fish is similar looking to pigeons.

*** Change “is similar looking” to “looks similar.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion the article is talking about how the fish looks similar to pigeons.

*** Include the source. Make sure there is a space between sentences. I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Fully edited article:

Half-Fish, Half-Bird Found in China

The article says that there is a fish that looks like a bird. There is a video that went viral about the bird fish. People are also saying that the fish even has a beak-like mouth. Scientists even say that the fish looks like a real pigeon. The fish probably has defective cell growth which makes it look like a bird. In conclusion the article is talking about how the fish looks similar to pigeons.

Source: https://www.livescience.com/62816-fish-with-bird-head-explained.html

Edited by Penny Yagake







This article is about how productscan make you sleep better.One fact is that there is a product called an anti-snoring device that makes the airway clear and can purify the air. Another fact is that a sleep mask can block out any light in your room.Third fact is that iEnjoy sheets can make your sheets more soft.Last fact is that a bamboo knee pillow can make your leg s have better circulation.In conclusion there are products that can make you sleep better.


This article is about how productscan make you sleep better.

*** Add a space between “products” and “can.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only - this applies to all the sentences. In this sentence, change “you” to “people.”

Edited sentence: This article is about how products can make people sleep better.

One fact is that there is a product called an anti-snoring device that makes the airway clear and can purify the air.

*** I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed. This sentence can instead start with “There is a product…”

Edited sentence: There is a product called an anti-snoring device that makes the airway clear and can purify the air.

Another fact is that a sleep mask can block out any light in your room.

*** This sentence can start with “A sleep mask…”

Edited sentence: A sleep mask can block out any light in a person’s room.

Third fact is that iEnjoy sheets can make your sheets more soft.

***This sentence can start with “iEnjoy sheets…” The phrase “more soft” can be replaced with “softer.”

Edited sentence: iEnjoy sheets can make bed sheets softer.

Last fact is that a bamboo knee pillow can make your leg s have better circulation.

*** Remove the extra space in “legs.” This sentence can start with “A bamboo knee pillow…”

Edited sentence: A bamboo knee pillow can make a person’s legs have better circulation.

In conclusion there are products that can make you sleep better.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. In this sentence, replace “you” with “people.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion there are products that can make people sleep better.

*** Create a title and include the source. Make sure there is a space between each sentence. Avoid second person point of view - do not use “you” and replace it with third person point of view pronouns only. Note where extra spaces need to be removed and where spaces need to be added.

Fully edited article:

This article is about how products can make people sleep better. There is a product called an anti-snoring device that makes the airway clear and can purify the air. A sleep mask can block out any light in a person’s room. iEnjoy sheets can make bed sheets softer. A bamboo knee pillow can make a person’s legs have better circulation. In conclusion there are products that can make people sleep better.

Edited by Penny Yagake







This article is about how you should eat breakfast everyday.One fact is that breakfast could help you get a better grade in your test.Another fact is that when you eat breakfast you could produce more energy for the day.Third fact is that when you eat breakfast it could have an another chance of getting nutrients.Fourth fact is that breakfast gives your body the best cycle for metabolism.In conclusion you should eat breakfast everyday.


This article is about how you should eat breakfast everyday.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Change “you” to “people.” Change “how” to “why.” The word “everyday” should be written as two words. When “everyday” is written as one word, it becomes an adjective that needs to be followed by a noun.

Edited sentence: This article is about why people should eat breakfast every day.

One fact is that breakfast could help you get a better grade in your test.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Since this sentence is discussing grades, replace “you” with “students” and “your” with “their.” Change “in” to “on.” I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Edited sentence: Breakfast could help students get a better grade on their tests.

Another fact is that when you eat breakfast you could produce more energy for the day.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Replace the first “you” with “people” and replace the second “you” with “they.”

Edited sentence: When people eat breakfast they could produce more energy for the day.

Third fact is that when you eat breakfast it could have an another chance of getting nutrients.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Replace the first “you” with “people” and replace “it” with “they.” Remove “an.”

Edited sentence: When people eat breakfast they could have another chance of getting nutrients.

Fourth fact is that breakfast gives your body the best cycle for metabolism.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“your”) and use third person point of view only. Replace “your” with “a person’s.”

Edited sentence: Breakfast gives a person’s body the best cycle for metabolism.

In conclusion you should eat breakfast everyday.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“your”) and use third person point of view only. Replace “you” with “people.” The word “everyday” should be two words.

Edited sentence: In conclusion people should eat breakfast every day.

*** Create a title and include the source. Add a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Avoid second person point of view (“your”) and use third person point of view only.

Fully edited article:

This article is about why people should eat breakfast every day. Breakfast could help students get a better grade on their tests. When people eat breakfast they could produce more energy for the day. When people eat breakfast they could have another chance of getting nutrients. Breakfast gives a person’s body the best cycle for metabolism. In conclusion people should eat breakfast every day.

Edited by Penny Yagake







This article is about how you could prevent anyone tracking you with your iPhone.One fact is that they are telling you steps that can prevent them from tracking you.Another fact is that google has strong grip to android and iPhones.Third fact is that google can track you with apps that you don't use.Fourth fact is that google can also track you with facebook.In conclusion google can track your iPhone.


This article is about how you could prevent anyone tracking you with your iPhone.

*** Avoid second person point of view — remove “you.” Use third person point of view only. This means to use words such as “people” or “a person.” Add “from” after “anyone.

Edited sentence: This article is about how to prevent anyone from tracking a person with that person’s iPhone.

One fact is that they are telling you steps that can prevent them from tracking you.

*** Good, but I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed. Avoid second person point of view (“you”), and use third person point of view only.

Edited sentence: The article discusses steps that can prevent others from tracking a person.

Another fact is that google has strong grip to android and iPhones.

*** Add “a” after “has.” Change “to” to “on.” Capitalize “android” since it is the name of a brand, and add “phones” after “Android.” Capitalize “google” since it is the name of a company.

Edited sentence: Google has a strong grip on Android phones and iPhones.

Third fact is that google can track you with apps that you don't use.

*** Capitalize “google” since it is the name of a company. Avoid second person point of view (“you”), and use third person point of view only.

Edited sentence: Google can track people with apps that aren’t in use.

Fourth fact is that google can also track you with facebook.

*** Capitalize “facebook” since that is the name of a company. Capitalize “google” since it is the name of a company. Avoid second person point of view (“you”), and use third person point of view only.

Edited sentence: Google can also track people with Facebook.

In conclusion google can track your iPhone.

*** Capitalize “google.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”), and use third person point of view only.

Edited sentence: In conclusion Google can track people’s iPhones.

*** Please create a title and include the source. Add a space after the period at the end of each sentence. Make sure to capitalize the names of companies. Avoid second person point of view (“you”), and use third person point of view only. I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Fully edited article:

This article is about how to prevent anyone from tracking a person with that person’s iPhone. The article discusses steps that can prevent others from tracking a person. Google has a strong grip on Android phones and iPhones. Google can track people with apps that aren’t in use. Google can also track people with Facebook. In conclusion Google can track people’s iPhones.

Edited by Penny Yagake






   This article is about where the coldest place in earth is.One fact is that scientists measured where the coldest place is.Another fact is that scientists had to wear masks in order to find the coldest place in earth.Third fact is that scientists used satellites to find the coldest place in the whole world.Last fact is that if scientists took a few b deaths then that could cause a hemorrhage.In conclusion scientists found the coldest place in earth.


This article is about where the coldest place in earth is.

*** Change “in” to “on.” Capitalize “earth” because it is the name of a planet.

Edited sentence: This article is about where the coldest place on Earth is.

One fact is that scientists measured where the coldest place is.

*** Good, but I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed. For example, this sentence could start with “Scientists measured…” instead.

Edited sentence: Scientists measured where the coldest place is.

Another fact is that scientists had to wear masks in order to find the coldest place in earth.

*** Change “in” to “on.” Capitalize “earth” because it is the name of a planet.

Edited sentence: Another fact is that scientists had to wear masks in order to find the coldest place on Earth.

Third fact is that scientists used satellites to find the coldest place in the whole world.

*** Again, this sentence could start with “Scientists used satellites…”

Edited sentence: Scientists used satellites to find the coldest place in the whole world.

Last fact is that if scientists took a few b deaths then that could cause a hemorrhage.

*** “b deaths” should be written as “breaths.” This could be explained a little more. For example, you could say “if scientists took a few breaths without wearing masks…”

Edited sentence: If scientists took a few breaths without wearing masks, then that could cause a hemorrhage.

In conclusion scientists found the coldest place in earth.

*** Change “in” to “on.” Capitalize “earth” because it is the name of a planet.

Edited sentence: In conclusion scientists found the coldest place on Earth.

*** Remember to create a title and include the source. capitalize proper nouns like the name of a planet. When a source discusses a subject that is on the surface of the Earth, use the preposition “on” instead of “in.” Make sure to read over your article summaries to check that the spelling is correct. I would still encourage you to start avoiding phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Fully edited article:

This article is about where the coldest place on Earth is. Scientists measured where the coldest place is. Another fact is that scientists had to wear masks in order to find the coldest place on Earth. Scientists used satellites to find the coldest place in the whole world. If scientists took a few breaths without wearing masks, then that could cause a hemorrhage. In conclusion scientists found the coldest place on Earth.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about scientists figuring life out of earth.One fact is that scientists found out that earth is powered by the host star and so is other planets. Another fact is that there is a possible chance that life could kickstart like the earth.Last fact is that the UV lights can give life to planets like the earth.In conclusion there is life outside of earth.


This article is about scientists figuring life out of earth.

*** Move “out” before “life.” Change “of” to “on.” Capitalize “earth” since this sentence is referring to the name of a planet.

Edited sentence: This article is about scientists figuring out life on Earth.

One fact is that scientists found out that earth is powered by the host star and so is other planets.

*** Since more than one planet is referred to at the end of this sentence, this plural subject should be followed by a plural verb. Therefore, change “is” to “are.” Capitalize “earth.” It seems like there are multiple host stars — does this host star have a name?

Edited sentence: One fact is that scientists found out that Earth is powered by the host star and so are other planets.

Another fact is that there is a possible chance that life could kickstart like the earth.

*** “possible” is not needed since “chance” is similar in meaning. Capitalize “earth.” Does this sentence mean to say that life could kickstart on other planets like the Earth?

Edited sentence: Another fact is that there is a chance that life could kickstart on other planets like the Earth.

Last fact is that the UV lights can give life to planets like the earth.

*** Are these UV lights coming from a planet? Remove “the” before “UV.” Remove “s” after “light.” Capitalize “earth.”

Edited sentence: Last fact is that UV light can give life to planets like the Earth.

In conclusion there is life outside of earth.

*** Capitalize “earth.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion there is life outside of Earth.

*** Please create a title and include the source. Remember that the article summary needs six sentences. Proper nouns like the name of a planet should be capitalized. I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed. For example, in the sentence, “One fact is that scientists found out that Earth is powered by the host star and so are other planets,” you can start the sentence with “Scientists found out” instead.

Fully edited article:

This article is about scientists figuring out life on Earth. One fact is that scientists found out that Earth is powered by the host star and so are other planets. Another fact is that there is a chance that life could kickstart on other planets like the Earth. Last fact is that UV light can give life to planets like the Earth. In conclusion there is life outside of Earth.

Edited by Penny Yagake






   This article is about the tech Alexa. One fact is that they are talking about how Alexa has been used in phones and other technology but Amazon is taking a step further by making Amazon echo, putting Alexa in it.Another fact is that Amazon made Alexa in the Amazon echo to tell drivers their directions to reach their destination. Also another thing is that Alexa can provide any type of information that people are going to need. Also another fact is that Alexa can also entertain people by any type of way. Last fact is that Alexa can also put in any type of background music that you are going to need. In conclusion this article is about the tech Alexa.


This article is about the tech Alexa.

*** Write out “technology.”

Edited sentence: This article is about the technology called Alexa.

One fact is that they are talking about how Alexa has been used in phones and other technology but Amazon is taking a step further by making Amazon echo, putting Alexa in it.

*** Who is “they”? Capitalize “echo.”

Edited sentence: One fact is that Alexa has been used in phones and other technology but Amazon is taking a step further by making Amazon Echo, putting Alexa in it.

Another fact is that Amazon made Alexa in the Amazon echo to tell drivers their directions to reach their destination.

*** Change “made” into “put.” Remove “their.”

Edited sentence: Another fact is that Amazon put Alexa in the Amazon Echo to tell drivers directions to reach their destination.

Also another thing is that Alexa can provide any type of information that people are going to need.

*** Try to avoid using the word “thing.” Instead, state what the thing is or describe it. Also try not to repeat “another fact” in multiple sentences, otherwise it becomes repetitive. This sentence can start with “Alexa” instead.

Edited sentence: Alexa can provide any type of information that people are going to need.

Also another fact is that Alexa can also entertain people by any type of way.

*** “Also” does not need to be repeated twice. Change “by” to “in.”

Edited sentence: Another fact is that Alexa can also entertain people in any type of way.

Last fact is that Alexa can also put in any type of background music that you are going to need.

*** Replace “put in” with “play.” Avoid using second person point of view — remove “you.” Use third person point of view instead. In this case, replace “you” with “people.”

Edited sentence: Alexa can also play any type of background music that people are going to need.

In conclusion this article is about the tech Alexa.

*** Write out “technology.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion this article is about the technology called Alexa.

*** Please create a title and include the source. Use only third person point of view for these article summaries. I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed, and it becomes repetitive.

Fully edited article:

This article is about the technology called Alexa. One fact is that Alexa has been used in phones and other technology but Amazon is taking a step further by making Amazon Echo, putting Alexa in it. Another fact is that Amazon put Alexa in the Amazon Echo to tell drivers directions to reach their destination. Alexa can provide any type of information that people are going to need. Another fact is that Alexa can also entertain people in any type of way. Alexa can also play any type of background music that people are going to need. In conclusion this article is about the technology called Alexa.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about where to put the world's trash. One fact is that China bought all the trash starting at 1992.Another fact is that China imported 45% of USA's trash.Third fact is that the USA exports around 4000 shipping containers full of plastic everyday. Last fact is that China is the country that buys our garbage and makes use of it. In conclusion, the article is about where to put the world's trash since china isn't taking it anymore.


This article is about where to put the world's trash.

*** Good.

One fact is that China bought all the trash starting at 1992.

*** “at” should be “in.” I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Edited sentence: China bought all the trash starting in 1992.

Another fact is that China imported 45% of USA's trash.

*** Add “the” before “USA’s.”

Edited sentence: Another fact is that China imported 45% of the USA’s trash.

Third fact is that the USA exports around 4000 shipping containers full of plastic everyday.

*** Good, but again, try to remove phrases such as “Third fact is.” “everyday” is an adjective, but in this sentence it should be two words — “every day.” Put a comma after 4 since this number is in the thousands.

Edited sentence: The USA exports around 4,000 shipping containers full of plastic every day.

Last fact is that China is the country that buys our garbage and makes use of it.

*** Good, but again, try to remove phrases such as “Last fact is.”

Edited sentence: China is the country that buys our garbage and makes use of it.

In conclusion, the article is about where to put the world's trash since china isn't taking it anymore.

*** Capitalize “China” because it is the name of a country.

Edited sentence: In conclusion, this article is about where to put the world’s trash since China isn’t taking it anymore.

*** Please create a title and include the source. Try to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed. Capitalize proper nouns such as the name of a country and make sure numbers in the thousands are punctuated correctly.

Fully edited article:

This article is about where to put the world's trash. China bought all the trash starting in 1992. Another fact is that China imported 45% of the USA’s trash. The USA exports around 4,000 shipping containers full of plastic every day. China is the country that buys our garbage and makes use of it. In conclusion, this article is about where to put the world’s trash since China isn’t taking it anymore.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about what makes an animal endangered.One fact is that humans intervention is the most common way of animals being endangered.Second fact is that the article is getting details from the IUCN about the animal extinction.Third fact is that scientists found out that over 7000 species are in the endangered list. Fourth fact is that if animals get higher in the rankings then there inching close to be extinct.In conclusion this article is about what makes an endangered species in the list.


This article is about what makes an animal endangered.

*** Good.

One fact is that humans intervention is the most common way of animals being endangered.

*** “humans” does not need an “s.” I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Edited sentence: Human intervention is the most common way animals become endangered.

Second fact is that the article is getting details from the IUCN about the animal extinction.

*** “the” before “animal extinction” is not needed. Since the source article is already published, “getting” should be written in past tense. Since the details are about animal extinction, I would move “about animal extinction” after “details.” I would also move this sentence before the last sentence since both discuss extinction.

Edited sentence: The article got details about animal extinction from the IUCN.

Third fact is that scientists found out that over 7000 species are in the endangered list.

*** Add a comma after 7 so that the number is written as 7,000.

Edited sentence: Scientists found out that over 7,000 species are in the endangered list.

Fourth fact is that if animals get higher in the rankings then there inching close to be extinct.

*** “there” should be spelled as “they’re.” “there” refers to a place. “they’re” is a shortened form of “they are.” The word “extinction” can be used instead of “be extinct.”

Edited sentence: If animals get higher in the rankings then they’re inching closer to extinction.

In conclusion this article is about what makes an endangered species in the list.

*** Use “puts” instead of “makes.”

Edited sentence: This article is about what puts an endangered species in the list.

*** Please create a title and include the source. Remember the difference between “there” and “they’re” — “there” refers to a place and “they’re” is a shortened form of “they are.” Again, I encourage you to try writing these sentences without phrases such as “one fact is” and go straight to the fact.

Fully edited article:

This article is about what makes an animal endangered. Human intervention is the most common way animals become endangered. Scientists found out that over 7,000 species are in the endangered list. If animals get higher in the rankings then they’re inching closer to extinction. The article got details about animal extinction from the IUCN. This article is about what puts an endangered species in the list.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about how the pizza became popular in the U.S. One fact is that Americans love pizza so much that they eat 100 acres a day. Second fact is that the reason reason why pizza is so famous is because there are so many italion immigrants coming to the U.S. Third fact is that pizza is found around 600 BCE. Fourth fact is that 100 acres is 350 slices of pizza per second. In conclusion thats why pizza became so popular in the U.S. This article is about how the pizza became popular in the U.S.

      • Good.
One fact is that Americans love pizza so much that they eat 100 acres a day.
      • This sentence is okay, but I would still encourage you to avoid using phrases like “One fact is” because it’s not needed.

Edited sentence: Americans love pizza so much that they eat 100 acres of it a day.

Second fact is that the reason reason why pizza is so famous is because there are so many italion immigrants coming to the U.S.
      • Again, avoid using phrases like “second fact is” because it’s unnecessary here. “reason” does not have to be repeated twice. “italion” should be spelled as “Italian” and it should be capitalized because it is a proper noun.

Edited sentence: Another reason why pizza is so famous is because there are so many Italian immigrants in the U.S.

Third fact is that pizza is found around 600 BCE.
      • 600 BCE is in the past so this sentence should be in past tense. “is” should be replaced by “was.”

Edited sentence: Pizza was found around 600 BCE.

Fourth fact is that 100 acres is 350 slices of pizza per second.
      • “equals” would be a more accurate word to use than “is.” Since I moved “100 acres” to the beginning of the sentence, “100” would be spelled out as “one hundred.” I would move this sentence after the second sentence since this sentence adds more information to the second sentence.

Edited sentence: One hundred acres a day equals 350 slices of pizza per second.

In conclusion thats why pizza became so popular in the U.S.
      • “thats” should be written as “that’s.” “that’s” is the shortened form of “that is.”

Edited sentence: In conclusion, that’s why pizza became so popular in the U.S.

      • Again, I encourage you to try writing these sentences without phrases such as “one fact is” and go straight to the fact. Make sure proper nouns are capitalized and spelled correctly. Also make sure the tense of each sentence is consistent and correct. Watch out for words that are repeated unnecessarily.

Fully edited article:

This article is about how the pizza became popular in the U.S. Americans love pizza so much that they eat 100 acres of it a day. One hundred acres a day equals 350 slices of pizza per second. Another reason why pizza is so famous is because there are so many Italian immigrants in the U.S. Pizza was found around 600 BCE. In conclusion, that’s why pizza became so popular in the U.S.

Original article:

This article is about how the pizza became popular in the U.S. One fact is that Americans love pizza so much that they eat 100 acres a day. Second fact is that the reason reason why pizza is so famous is because there are so many italion immigrants coming to the U.S. Third fact is that pizza is found around 600 BCE. Fourth fact is that 100 acres is 350 slices of pizza per second. In conclusion thats why pizza became so popular in the U.S.

Edited by Penny Yagake






The article is about how the ocean is salty. One fact is that its talking about facts that tell us why that this is happening. Second fact is that salt water could be caused by volcanic activity. Third fact is that salt water can be also caused by rains from the sky. Last fact is that rain accumulates carbon dioxide from the atmosphere above.In conclusion, that's how and why the ocean is so salty.

The article is about how the ocean is salty.

      • You can go directly into the article without using phrases such as “The article is about.” Or write the title of the article.

Edited sentence: This article is about how the ocean became salty.

One fact is that its talking about facts that tell us why that this is happening.
      • I removed “one fact” to avoid making the sentence sound repetitive. “its” could mean either the ocean or the article. In this case, I would replace “its” with the article to make it clearer. Avoid using first person point of view (“us”).

Edited sentence: The article talks about facts that explain why this is happening.

Second fact is that salt water could be caused by volcanic activity.
      • I would remove “second fact is” because it’s not needed. Other than that, this sentence is good.

Edited sentence: Salt water could be caused by volcanic activity.

Third fact is that salt water can be also caused by rains from the sky.
      • “can be also” should be written as “could also be.” The “s” after “rain” is not needed.

Edited sentence: Salt water could also be caused by rain from the sky.

Last fact is that rain accumulates carbon dioxide from the atmosphere above.
      • I would remove “last fact is.” Other than that, this sentence is good, although you could explain how this makes the ocean salty.

Edited sentence: Rain accumulates carbon dioxide from the atmosphere above.

In conclusion, that's how and why the ocean is so salty.

      • Please remember to include a title and the source. Try writing these sentences without using phrases like “the article is about,” otherwise this becomes repetitive when used in all the articles.


Fully edited article:

This article is about how the ocean became salty. The article talks about facts that explain why this is happening. Salt water could be caused by volcanic activity. Salt water could also be caused by rain from the sky. Rain accumulates carbon dioxide from the atmosphere above. In conclusion, that's how and why the ocean is so salty.

Original article:

The article is about how the ocean is salty. One fact is that its talking about facts that tell us why that this is happening. Second fact is that salt water could be caused by volcanic activity. Third fact is that salt water can be also caused by rains from the sky. Last fact is that rain accumulates carbon dioxide from the atmosphere above.In conclusion, that's how and why the ocean is so salty.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about how a parasite can cause you to have a seizure. One fact is that a tapeworm larvae can travel to your brain and make you hear cysts sounds. Second fact is that doctors are releasing guidelines to not let the virus get to their brains. Third fact is that doctors re trying why they can to not let the virus spread. Last fact is that doctors can also damage your brain so,so much.In conclusion, that's why a parasite could cause a seizure.

This article is about how a parasite can cause you to have a seizure.

      • You can introduce the name of the parasite in the first sentence to tell the reader exactly which parasite this article is about. “you” indicates that this article is written from the second person point of view. But since this article is about more than one person, the third person point of view would work better here.

Edited sentence: Tapeworm larvae can cause people to have a seizure.

One fact is that a tapeworm larvae can travel to your brain and make you hear cysts sounds.
      • I have not seen a source that says people can hear cysts.

Edited sentence: Tapeworm larvae can travel to the brain and cause cysts to form.

Second fact is that doctors are releasing guidelines to not let the virus get to their brains.

Edited sentence: Doctors are releasing guidelines to treat these cysts which form a condition known as “neurocysticercosis.”

Third fact is that doctors re trying why they can to not let the virus spread.

      • This sentence is unclear. What are the doctors trying to do?

Edited sentence: Doctors are doing what they can to prevent this condition from spreading.

Last fact is that doctors can also damage your brain so,so much.
      • Where is this information from? However, I do see that the condition caused by tapeworm larvae can severely damage the brain.

Edited sentence: Neurocysticercosis can cause severe damage to the brain.

In conclusion, that's why a parasite could cause a seizure.

      • The ideas in this article need to be connected to explain why tapeworms can cause seizures.

Edited sentence: The cysts formed by the tapeworm larvae cause seizures.

      • You must include the source and create a title for your article. A parasite can carry a virus, but a parasite is not the same as a virus. Make sure that the terms and the information are used consistently through the article to avoid confusing the reader. Additionally, make sure that the facts are accurate. The name of the condition is important in the article, so it should be included. In the concluding sentence, avoid repeating information that has already been stated.


Fully edited article:

Tapeworm larvae can cause people to have a seizure. Tapeworm larvae can travel to the brain and cause cysts to form. Doctors are releasing guidelines to treat these cysts which form a condition known as “neurocysticercosis.” Doctors are doing what they can to prevent this condition from spreading. Neurocysticercosis can cause severe damage to the brain. The cysts formed by the tapeworm larvae cause seizures.

Original article:

This article is about how a parasite can cause you to have a seizure. One fact is that a tapeworm larvae can travel to your brain and make you hear cysts sounds. Second fact is that doctors are releasing guidelines to not let the virus get to their brains. Third fact is that doctors re trying why they can to not let the virus spread. Last fact is that doctors can also damage your brain so,so much.In conclusion, that's why a parasite could cause a seizure.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about if the camels store water in their humps.One fact is that camels don't actually store water in their humps. Second fact is that camels actually store fatty issue in theirs humps.Third fact is that its because camels live in the desert where their isn't that much food supplies.Fourth fact is that the camels use their humps when they need extra food.In conclusion is that, that's why camels don't actually store water in their humps.

This article is about if the camels store water in their humps.

      • The article does not necessarily need opening phrases such as “This article is about” or “One fact is.” You can go directly into the information that you are discussing.

Edited sentence: People often wonder if camels store water in their humps.

One fact is that camels don't actually store water in their humps.

      • I edited this sentence to connect it more with the first sentence.

Edited sentence: They may be surprised to learn that camels do not actually store water in their humps.

Second fact is that camels actually store fatty issue in theirs humps.

      • “theirs” does not need an “s.” “issue” should be “tissue.”

Edited sentence: Camels actually store fatty tissue in their humps.

Third fact is that its because camels live in the desert where their isn't that much food supplies.

      • “their” refers to a person whereas “there” refers to a place. In this case, since you are referring to the desert, it should be followed by “there.” “supplies” is not needed.

Edited sentence: This is because camels live in the desert where there is not much food around.

Fourth fact is that the camels use their humps when they need extra food.

      • This sentence can explain more about how a camel’s hump provides “extra food.” I also moved this sentence after the third sentence because this sentence continues to explain why camels store fat in their humps.

Edited sentence: Camels use the fat in their humps when they need extra food.

In conclusion is that, that's why camels don't actually store water in their humps.

      • Rather than repeat the second sentence, you can summarize the facts in the article or state the importance of this extra source of food.

Edited sentence: The fat in camels’ humps allows them to travel through the desert for long periods of time.

Additionally, put a space after the period at the end of each sentence. I repeat that the sentences do not necessarily need opening phrases such as “This article is about” because otherwise it becomes repetitive when used continuously in other articles. You can go directly into the information that you are discussing. You can see examples of this in the articles on the main page of goodtoknow.com.


Fully edited article:

People often wonder if camels store water in their humps. They may be surprised to learn that camels do not actually store water in their humps. Camels actually store fatty tissue in their humps. Camels use the fat in their humps when they need extra food. This is because camels live in the desert where there is not much food around. The fat in camels’ humps allows them to travel through the desert for long periods of time.

Original article:

This article is about if the camels store water in their humps.One fact is that camels don't actually store water in their humps. Second fact is that camels actually store fatty issue in theirs humps.Third fact is that its because camels live in the desert where their isn't that much food supplies.Fourth fact is that the camels use their humps when they need extra food.In conclusion is that, that's why camels don't actually store water in their humps.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about is how Hawaii's erupting volcano makes it rain green gems.One fact is that its raining olivine crystals.Second fact is that the olivine crystals are a type of common minerals.Third fact is that the crystal is carried along with volcano.Fourth fact is that the olivine crystals are very small type of gems.In conclusion Hawaii's erupting volcano causes to rain green gems.

This article is about is how Hawaii's erupting volcano makes it rain green gems.

      • Remember to include a title for your article. I removed “This article is about is how” because it is not needed — the reader would already know that you are talking about the article. “it” also does not need to be used in this sentence. There are multiple volcanoes in Hawaii, so you need to tell the reader which volcano is identified in the source.

Edited sentence: Hawaii’s erupting volcano rains green gems.

One fact is that its raining olivine crystals.

      • I removed “One fact is” because it is not needed. The word “its” is unclear — telling the reader what “its” is exactly would help the reader understand the article more. I also added “These gems” to connect this sentence to the first sentence.

Edited sentence: These gems are called olivine crystals.

Second fact is that the olivine crystals are a type of common minerals.

      • I removed “Second fact is” because it is not needed. “minerals” does not need an “s” at the end because this sentence is referring to one type of common mineral.

Edited sentence: Olivine crystals are a type of common mineral.

Third fact is that the crystal is carried along with volcano.

      • I removed “Third fact is” because it is not needed. There are many crystals being mentioned here, so “crystal” should have an “s.” Since “crystals” is a plural subject, it needs to be followed by a plural verb — “are.” More information should be included to explain how the crystals are being carried along.

Edited sentence: These crystals are carried along within the volcano.

Fourth fact is that the olivine crystals are very small type of gems.

      • I removed “Fourth fact is” because it is not needed. I added an “a” after “are” and removed the “s” after “gem” because only one type of gem is being discussed in this sentence. I also moved this sentence after the third sentence because both sentences describe features of the crystals. I also changed “gem” to "mineral" to connect this sentence with the third sentence.

Edited sentence: They are a very small type of mineral.

In conclusion Hawaii's erupting volcano causes to rain green gems.

      • I removed “In conclusion” because it is not needed. I edited this sentence so that it is not repeating information from previous sentences. This sentence is also incomplete. What is being caused to rain green gems? Since the gems have already been identified as “olivine crystals,” I changed “green gems” to “olivine crystals.” I added “Then” to connect this sentence with the previous sentence, as can be seen in the fully edited article below.

Edited sentence: Then the eruption pushes the olivine crystals out of the volcano.

      • You must provide the source of the article otherwise the reader will not know where this information is from. Credit needs to be given to the source. Avoid repeating information that has already been stated in the article. Instead, try to introduce new facts in each sentence. The concluding sentence can summarize the article, but it should not repeat exactly what has already been written.

Fully edited article:

Hawaii’s erupting volcano rains green gems. These gems are called olivine crystals. Olivine crystals are a type of common mineral. They are a very small type of mineral. These crystals are carried along within the volcano. Then the eruption pushes the olivine crystals out of the volcano.

Original article:

This article is about is how Hawaii's erupting volcano makes it rain green gems.One fact is that its raining olivine crystals.Second fact is that the olivine crystals are a type of common minerals.Third fact is that the crystal is carried along with volcano.Fourth fact is that the olivine crystals are very small type of gems.In conclusion Hawaii's erupting volcano causes to rain green gems.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about how china is fighting drones.One fact is that they are trying to make an anti-drone weapon to stop them.Second fact is that chins is also making robots to stop the drones.Third fact is that chins is also selling truck-mounted laser cannons to also stop these drones from attacking. Last fact is that drones are also trespassing where they live and that's why china is fighting the drones that are attacking.In conclusion, this is how china is fighting and protecting from drones.

This article is about how china is fighting drones.

      • Remember to include a title for your article. Make sure there is a space between sentences. “China” should be capitalized because it is the name of a country. There is no need to write “This article is about how.” Include more information. This first sentence should explain why China is fighting these drones. Where are they coming from?

Edited sentence: China is fighting drones.

One fact is that they are trying to make an anti-drone weapon to stop them.

      • There is no need to write “One fact is.” I would also combine this sentence with the third sentence.

Edited sentence: They are making an anti-drone weapon to stop them.

Second fact is that chins is also making robots to stop the drones.

      • There is no need to write “Second fact is.” Make sure “China” is written correctly.

Edited sentence: China is also making robots for the same purpose.

Third fact is that chins is also selling truck-mounted laser cannons to also stop these drones from attacking.

      • There is no need to write “Third fact is.” Make sure “China” is written correctly. The second “also” is not needed.

Edited sentence: China is also selling truck-mounted laser cannons to stop these drones from attacking.

Last fact is that drones are also trespassing where they live and that's why china is fighting the drones that are attacking.

      • Rather than putting this information towards the end of the article, this information would be better used as the first sentence to introduce the article. There is no need to write “Last fact is.” Since “also” is used many times in previous sentences, I would remove the “also” in this sentence to avoid sounding repetitive. Identify who “they” is.

Edited sentence: These drones are trespassing the country.

In conclusion, this is how china is fighting and protecting from drones.

      • There is no need to write “In conclusion.” State who is being protected from the drones. In the conclusion, summarize why China is fighting these drones.

Edited sentence: This is why China is fighting the drones.

      • You must include the source of the article otherwise the reader will not know where this information is from. I need to be able to check the source as well to make suggestions for editing your article. Information taken directly from a source without crediting the source is considered plagiarism.

Fully edited article:

China is fighting drones. They are making an anti-drone weapon to stop them. China is also making robots for the same purpose. China is also selling truck-mounted laser cannons to stop these drones from attacking. These drones are trespassing the country. This is why China is fighting the drones.

Original article:

This article is about how china is fighting drones.One fact is that they are trying to make an anti-drone weapon to stop them.Second fact is that chins is also making robots to stop the drones.Third fact is that chins is also selling truck-mounted laser cannons to also stop these drones from attacking. Last fact is that drones are also trespassing where they live and that's why china is fighting the drones that are attacking.In conclusion, this is how china is fighting and protecting from drones.

Edited by Penny Yagake






This article is about how there is food and water shortages.One fact is that people think that this is happening because of nature.Another fact is that Africa is facing theses type of shortages all the time.Third fact is that scientists think that this will happen in the next 30 years or it has been happening for 30 years.Last fact is that everyone one should be impacted by 2050 by the food and water shortages.In conclusion you could see that food and water shortages is the main topic of this article. SOURCE:NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC


This article is about how there is food and water shortages.

*** Remove “how there is.”

Edited sentence: This article is about food and water shortages.

One fact is that people think that this is happening because of nature.

*** This sentence can start with “People think that…” Change “this is” to “these are.”

Edited sentence: People think that these are happening because of nature.

Another fact is that Africa is facing theses type of shortages all the time.

*** Remove the “s” at the end of “theses” and add a “s” at the end of “type.”

Edited sentence: Africa is facing these types of shortages all the time.

Third fact is that scientists think that this will happen in the next 30 years or it has been happening for 30 years.

*** If this information is from this article, https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/10/billions-face-water-food-insecurity/, then it would be more accurate for this sentence to say that food and water shortages will happen in the next 30 years. “it has been happening for 30 years” can be removed, otherwise the sentence is unclear.

Edited sentence: Scientists think that this will happen in the next 30 years.

Last fact is that everyone one should be impacted by 2050 by the food and water shortages.

*** Remove “one.” Change “should” to “could.” Move “by 2050” to the end of the sentence.

Edited sentence: Everyone could be impacted by food and water shortages by 2050.

In conclusion you could see that food and water shortages is the main topic of this article.

*** Avoid second person point of view and use third person point of view only - remove “you could see that.” Change “is” to “are” since two shortages are discussed here.

Edited sentence: In conclusion food and water shortages are the main topics of this article.

SOURCE:NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

*** Include the full URL

Edited source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/10/billions-face-water-food-insecurity/

*** Create a title and include the source. Make sure there is a space between sentences. Avoid second person point of view and use third person point of view only. Make sure references to a plural subject stay consistent — “food and water shortages” are two types of shortages, so they should be paired with plural verbs such as “are.”

Fully edited article:

This article is about food and water shortages. People think that these are happening because of nature. Africa is facing these types of shortages all the time. Scientists think that this will happen in the next 30 years. Everyone could be impacted by food and water shortages by 2050. In conclusion food and water shortages are the main topics of this article.

Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/10/billions-face-water-food-insecurity/

Edited by Penny Yagake