Today is: loading ...
loading ...
- Source: loading ...
Line 1: Line 1:
  
 +
In this story there are two things the fairy god mother gave. The first one is a dress and slippers. The second was a carriage and a horse. In conclusion this is what two things Cinderella got from the fairy god mother.
  
I this poem there is one reason why a donkey is talked about. Which has to do with character. One reason is because the donkey is the main character. In conclusion, this is how this is why the donkey is talked about.
+
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I this poem there is one reason why a donkey is talked about. Which has to do with character. One reason is because the donkey is the main character. In conclusion, this is how this is why the donkey is talked about.
  
 
According to the poem, the donkey is discussed because of the literary device character. <br>
 
According to the poem, the donkey is discussed because of the literary device character. <br>

Revision as of 20:04, 25 June 2020

In this story there are two things the fairy god mother gave. The first one is a dress and slippers. The second was a carriage and a horse. In conclusion this is what two things Cinderella got from the fairy god mother.






......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I this poem there is one reason why a donkey is talked about. Which has to do with character. One reason is because the donkey is the main character. In conclusion, this is how this is why the donkey is talked about.

According to the poem, the donkey is discussed because of the literary device character.
***Edited for fluency and clarity. Again, "which has to do with character" is a fragment and is grammatically incorrect, as it is not a complete thought or complete sentence. Try reading this out loud next time to see if it makes sense by itself. I recommend trying a new sentence structure or style to avoid confusion on what is a fragment and what is not. This means to stop using anything that begins with "which."

As seen by the text, the donkey is the main character.
***Edited for clarity and fluency.

In conclusion, this is why the donkey is discussed.
***Edited for fluency and word choice.


According to the poem, the donkey is discussed because of the literary device character. As seen by the text, the donkey is the main character. In conclusion, this is why the donkey is discussed.
***Make sure to follow the RACE format and write four sentences total, with one of those being a quote directly from the text. Your evidence should be word for word from the assignment for the day and be placed in quotation marks. Currently this paragraph lacks evidence to support your argument, because the reader cannot verify if the story actually says the things your claims state it is.

Edited by Nicole Glidden





in this text there is one way how the schippeitaro caught the cat king. which was with two pillars. One reason is it talks about pillars and hitting cat king. In conclusion, this is how schippeitaro caught cat king.

According to the text, Schippeitaro caught the cat king with two pillars.
***Edited for fluency, punctuation and clarity. "Which was with two pillars" is a fragment and is grammatically incorrect, as it is not a complete thought or complete sentence. Try reading this out loud next time to see if it makes sense by itself. I recommend trying a new sentence structure or style to avoid confusion on what is a fragment and what is not.

In the text it states that he used pillars and hit the cat king.
***Edited for clarity and fluency.

In conclusion, this is how Schippeitaro caught the cat king. According to the text, Schippeitaro caught the cat king with two pillars. In the text it states that he used pillars and hit the cat king. In conclusion, this is how Schippeitaro caught the cat king.
***Make sure to follow the RACE format and write four sentences total, with one of those being a quote directly from the text. Your evidence should be word for word from the assignment for the day and be placed in quotation marks. Currently this paragraph lacks evidence to support your argument, because the reader cannot verify if the story actually says the things your claims state it is.


Edited by Nicole Glidden




There is one way how Johnny cake should feel of winning the running race which is feeling happy. One reason is because he should feel proud he won a race and feel accomplished. In conclusion, this is how Johnny should feel about winning a race.

According to the story, Johnny-cake should feel happy about winning the race.
***Edited to reference the question, punctuation and for fluency.

One reason Johnny-cake should feel proud is because he won a race and is accomplished.
***Edited for fluency and clarity.

In conclusion, this is how Johnny should feel about winning the race.
***Edited for clarity.

According to the story, Johnny-cake should feel happy about winning the race. One reason Johnny-cake should feel proud is because he won a race and is accomplished. In conclusion, this is how Johnny should feel about winning the race.
***Make sure to follow the RACE format and write four sentences total, with one of those being a quote directly from the text. Your evidence should be word for word from the assignment for the day and be placed in quotation marks. Currently this paragraph lacks evidence to support your argument, because the reader cannot verify if the story actually says the things your claims state it is.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




There is one way how the lazy man is able to get rich. which was working. One reason is in the story at the end the lazy man was hired by a rich man. In conclusion, this is how the lazy man can get rich.

According to the story, the one way the lazy man became rich was through working.
***Edited to reference the question and for grammar. "Which was working" is a fragment and is grammatically incorrect, as it is not a complete thought or complete sentence. Try reading this out loud next time to see if it makes sense by itself.

Near the end of the story the lazy man was hired by a rich man.
***Edited for fluency.

In conclusion, this how the lazy man became rich.
***Edited for word choice.

According to the story, the one way the lazy man became rich was through working. Near the end of the story the lazy man was hired by a rich man. In conclusion, this how the lazy man became rich.
***Make sure to include a direct quote from the text rather than paraphrasing and consider varying your sentence structure to avoid fragments.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




There is one thing that happened to the animals in the story. Which is turned into lunch. One reason is because in the story it states the foxes had a nice meal. In conclusion, this is what happened to the animals in the story.

According to the story, the one thing that happened to the animals is that they were turned into lunch.
***Edited to reference the question and grammar. "Which is turned into lunch" is a fragment or incomplete thought, so you need to include a subject. The reader does not know who or what was turned into lunch. Try reading this out loud next time to see if it makes sense by itself.

In the text it states that the foxes had a nice meal.
***Edited for clarity.

In conclusion, this is what happened to the animals in the story.
***Good!

According to the story, the one thing that happened to the animals is that they were turned into lunch. In the text it states that the foxes had a nice meal. In conclusion, this is what happened to the animals in the story.
***Strong last sentence, but make sure to include a direct quote from the text rather than paraphrasing.

Edited by Nicole Glidden


In this story there is one thing that the two frogs made a mistake about, which is their nice trailing hike. One reason is in the story it states that, the frogs made a big mistake with the hike which was tiering. In conclusion, this is the mistake that the two frog made in this story.

According to the story, there is one thing that the two frogs made a mistake about, which was their nice trailing hike.
***Edited for tense consistency and fluency.

In the story it states that the frogs made a big mistake with the hike which was tiering.
*** If you are paraphrasing this from the text then it would read: In the story it states that the frogs made a big mistake with the hike because they did the tiering incorrectly. If you are quoting directly from the text you need quotation marks to avoid plagiarism. Either way, quote directly from the text and use quotation marks.

In conclusion, the flaw with their hike was the mistake that the two frogs made.
***Edited for fluency.


According to the story, there is one thing that the two frogs made a mistake about, which was their nice trailing hike. In the story it states that the frogs made a big mistake with the hike because they did the tiering incorrectly. In conclusion, the flaw with their hike was the mistake that the two frogs made.
***Make sure to quote directly from the text and use the RACE format.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




There is one way how the four year old acts. which is responsible. One reason is because he helps his grandpa with wood supplies. In conclusion this is how the kid acts.

According to the story, the four year old acts responsible.
***Edited to reference the question and grammar. "Which is responsible" is a fragment or incomplete thought.

One reason the boy is responsible is because he helps his grandpa with wood supplies.
***Edited for grammar and clarity.

In conclusion, the boy acts responsible.
***Edited for punctuation and clarity.

According to the story, the four year old acts responsible. One reason the boy is responsible is because he helps his grandpa with wood supplies. In conclusion, the boy acts responsible.
***Include a direct quote from the text.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




There is one reason what the bird did to the bad man. Which is to give him hope. One reason is in the story the bird made the bad mans heart open. In conclusion, this is what the bird did to the bad man.

According to the story, the birds purpose is to give the bad man hope.
***Edited to reference the question and for clarity. I combined the first and second sentence because they were both incomplete thoughts.

In the story, the bird opens the bad man's heart.
Edited for fluency and punctuation. The heart belongs to the bad man meaning that an apostrophe is needed to show possesion.

In conclusion, the bird makes the bad man more kind.
***Edited for word choice and fluency.

According to the story, the birds purpose is to give the bad man hope. In the story, the bird opens the bad man's heart. In conclusion, the bird makes the bad man more kind.
***Try to refer back to the question and include a direct quote from the text.

Edited by Nicole Glidden


There is one way a sausage skewer is used. Which is to hold a sausage. One reason is because in this the sausage is slippery when holding. In conclusion ,his is what a sausage skewer is used for.

According to the story, there is only one way that a sausage skewer can be used.
***Edited for grammar and to refer back to the question.

Sausage skewers are used to hold a sausage.
***Edited for clarity.

As can be seen in the text, sausage skewers are used because the sausage is too slippery when try to hold it with just your hands.
***Edited to reference the text and for clarity.

In conclusion, a sausage skewer is used to make eating a sausage easier.
***Edited for spelling, punctuation, and fluency.

According to the story, there is only one way that a sausage skewer can be used. Sausage skewers are used to hold a sausage. As can be seen in the text, sausage skewers are used because the sausage is too slippery when try to hold it with just your hands. In conclusion, a sausage skewer is used to make eating a sausage easier.
***Make sure to refer back to the question and include a direct quote from the text for evidence instead of paraphrasing.

Edited by Nicole Glidden



Original: In the story there was only one way the beetle lived. which was fantasy. One reason is in this story there is tons of money and kings. In conclusion, this is way the beetle lived.

Edits:


In the story there was only one way the beetle lived. which was fantasy.

      • Edited for clarity: There was only one way the beetle lived in this story which was fantasy.


Good first sentence!


One reason is in this story there is tons of money and kings.

      • Edited for fluidity: For instance, in this story there were tons of money and kings.


Make sure to write in past tense


In conclusion, this is way the beetle lived.

      • Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this beetle lived in a fantasy.

Final Edit:

There was only one way the beetle lived in this story which was fantasy. For instance, in this story there were tons of money and kings. In conclusion, this beetle lived in a fantasy.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware










There was only one thing that the lady was interested. Which was good sculpts. One reason is because in this story it takes about sculptures and the lady liking the sculpts. In conclusion, this is what the lady was interested in.

There is only one thing that the lady is interested in.
***Edited for grammar. "Interested in" is used when referring to things someone likes to do or is attracted to. I also changed the tense from past to present to give your paragraph a more active voice.

The lady is interested in good sculptures.
***Edited for grammar and spelling. I added a subject to your sentence to make it a complete sentence. I also changed sculpts to sculptures, because sculpts is a verb. The lady can like sculpting or the way someone else sculpts, but if she's interested in the product then the noun should be used.

In the text, it talks about the sculptures and the lady liking them.
***Edited for clarity and spelling. This sentence was a bit wordy, so I shortened it to make it more clear to the reader. I also changed "takes" to "talks."

In conclusion, this is what the lady is interested in.
***Good job! I just changed "was" to "is" to keep the tense consistent.

There is only one thing that the lady is interested in. The lady is interested in good sculptures. In the text, it talks about the sculptures and the lady liking them. In conclusion, this is what the lady is interested in.

***Make sure to include direct quotes from the text, rather than paraphrasing.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




Original: There is one reason why big clause took little clause horse. Which is because little clause horse is all over him. One reason is because in the story it states that big clause can take the horse just because the horse bothers little clause. In conclusion, this is why big clause took little clause horse.

Edits:


There is one reason why big clause took little clause horse. Which is because little clause horse is all over him.

      • Edited for clarity: Big Claus took Little Claus's horse because Little Claus's horse was all over him.


Good! Combined these two sentences and remember to use past tense.


One reason is because in the story it states that big clause can take the horse just because the horse bothers little clause.

      • Edited for clarity: For instance, in the story it states that Big Claus could've took the horse just because the horse bothered Little Claus.


Good!


In conclusion, this is why big clause took little clause horse.

      • Edited for capitalization: In conclusion, this is why Big Claus took Little Claus's horse.


Great concluding statement! Make sure to capitalize the main characters and use past tense.

Final Edit:


Big Claus took Little Claus's horse because Little Claus's horse was all over him. For instance, in the story it states that Big Claus could've took the horse just because the horse bothered Little Claus. In conclusion, this is why Big Claus took Little Claus's horse.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware






Original: There is one reason why the princess was a real princess. Which is because of soft felt. One reason is because she put 20 mattresses on top of a pea and the princess felt the pea. In conclusion, this is how she is a real princess.

Edits:


There is one reason why the princess was a real princess. Which is because of soft felt.

      • Edited for fluidity: The princess was a real princess because of the soft felt.


Good!


One reason is because she put 20 mattresses on top of a pea and the princess felt the pea.

      • Edited for fluidity: For instance, she put 20 mattresses on top of a pea and the princess felt the pea.


Start the sentences with a transition phrase.


In conclusion, this is how she is a real princess.

      • Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this is how we knew she was a real princess.


Final Edit:

The princess was a real princess because of the soft felt. For instance, she put 20 mattresses on top of a pea and the princess felt the pea. In conclusion, this is how we knew she was a real princess.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There is one reason why the author wrote this story. which is since he wanted to talk about differences. One reason is because in the stor ,there is one farmyard rooster and weather rooster. In conclusion, this is why he wrote this story.

Edits:


There is one reason why the author wrote this story. which is since he wanted to talk about differences.

      • Edited for clarity: The author wrote this story to talk about the differences within the roosters.


Good!


One reason is because in the stor ,there is one farmyard rooster and weather rooster.

      • Edited for fluidity: For instance, in the passage there is a store which has one farmyard rooster and one weather rooster.


Make sure to check grammar

In conclusion, this is why he wrote this story.

      • Edited for clarity: In conclusion, he wrote this story to talk about the differences.


Final Edit:

The author wrote this story to talk about the differences within the roosters. For instance, in the passage there is a store which has one farmyard rooster and one weather rooster. In conclusion, he wrote this story to talk about the differences.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There was one reason why the mother stork wanted her children to learn how to fly. Which is predators and other dangerous animals. One reason is because in the text, it states in the passage that there were many dangerous animals. In conclusion, this is why the mother stork wanted her kids to learn how to fly.


Edits:


There was one reason why the mother stork wanted her children to learn how to fly. Which is predators and other dangerous animals.

      • Edited for fluidity: One reason why the mother stork wanted her children to leave how to fly was to protect them from predators and other dangerous animals.


Great job! Combine these two sentences to make them flow better


One reason is because in the text, it states in the passage that there were many dangerous animals.

      • Edited for clarity: For instance, in the text it states that there were many dangerous animals surrounding their territory.


Add a transition statement.


In conclusion, this is why the mother stork wanted her kids to learn how to fly.

      • Great!!

Final Edit:

One reason why the mother stork wanted her children to leave how to fly was to protect them from predators and other dangerous animals. For instance, in the text it states that there were many dangerous animals surrounding their territory. In conclusion, this is why the mother stork wanted her kids to learn how to fly.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware


Original: There was one thing the sick girl saw outside the window. Which was a big pea plant. One reason is because in this tail it talks about the peas and that they have grown big and tall. In conclusion, this is what she saw out side the window.

Edits:


There was one thing the sick girl saw outside the window. Which was a big pea plant.

      • Edited for clarity: The sick girl saw a big plea plants outside her window.


Good! Changed the wording around a bit.


One reason is because in this tail it talks about the peas and that they have grown big and tall.

      • Edited for clarity: For instance, this tale talks about the peas and how they grow big and tall.


In conclusion, this is what she saw out side the window.

      • Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is what she saw outside of her window.


Final Edit:


The sick girl saw a big plea plants outside her window. For instance, this tale talks about the peas and how they grow big and tall. In conclusion, this is what she saw outside of her window.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: There is one reason how the baron is not a good person. which is that the baron is rude. One reason is because he called a girl names when she fell in a puddle. by mistake. In conclusion, this is why the baron is not a good person and how he is very rude.

Edits:


There is one reason how the baron is not a good person. which is that the baron is rude.

      • Edited for clarity: Baron is not a good person because he is rude to others around him.


Made this one sentence to make it flow better!


One reason is because he called a girl names when she fell in a puddle. by mistake.

      • Edited for clarity: For instance, he called a girl names when she accidentally fell in the puddle.


In conclusion, this is why Baron is not a good person and how he is very rude.

      • Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is why Baron is not a good person.

Final Edit:


Baron is not a good person because he is rude to others around him. For instance, he called a girl names when she accidentally fell in the puddle. In conclusion, this shows why Baron is not a good person.






Original: There is one reason how Ali Baba knew the cave. It was from the thieves and their ideas. One reason is because Ali baba got so much information from them that they told him every thing about them. In conclusion, this is how Ali baba knew the cave.

Edits:


There is one reason how Ali Baba knew the cave. It was from the thieves and their ideas.

      • Edited for fluidity: Ali Baba knew about the cave from the thieves and their ideas.


Good! Changed the wording around to make the sentence flow better


One reason is because Ali baba got so much information from them that they told him every thing about them.

      • Edited for clarity: Ali Baba got a lot of information from them which made him realize everything about them.


Changed the wording around a bit.


In conclusion, this is how Ali baba knew the cave.

      • Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is how Ali Babe found out about the cave.


Make sure to capitalize Baba


Final Edit:

Ali Baba knew about the cave from the thieves and their ideas. Ali Baba got a lot of information from them which made him realize everything about them. In conclusion, this is how Ali Baba found out about the cave.


Edited by: Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There was only 25 main characters in the story which were the tin soldiers. It was since they were talked about a lot. One reason is since they were described and were the only character to talk in the story and the story started with them. In conclusion this is why the tin soldiers were the main character.

Edits:


There was only 25 main characters in the story which were the tin soldiers.

      • Edited for grammar: The 25 tin soldiers were the main characters in this story.


Changed the wording around to make the first sentence clearer!


It was since they were talked about a lot. One reason is since they were described and were the only character to talk in the story and the story started with them.

      • Edited for fluidity: They were discussed a lot throughout this story from beginning to end.


Combine these two sentences.


In conclusion this is why the tin soldiers were the main character.

      • Edited for punctuation: In conclusion, this is why the 25 tin soldiers were the main characters.

Final Edit:


The 25 tin soldiers were the main characters in this story. They were discussed a lot throughout this story from beginning to end. In conclusion, this is why the 25 tin soldiers were the main characters.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware


Original: There was only one way to obtain the treasure and that was to have the highest jump. They had to since the rules state only the one with highest jump wins. One reason is because the frog ,flea, king, and grasshopper made a deal and told every one in the world to come see if the frog, flea, or grasshopper have a higher jump. In conclusion, this is the way how to obtain the treasure.

Edits:


There was only one way to obtain the treasure and that was to have the highest jump. They had to since the rules state only the one with highest jump wins.

      • Edited for fluidity: According to the rules, the only way to obtain the treasure was to have the highest jump.

We can combine these two sentences to make the first sentence flow a bit better.


One reason is because the frog ,flea, king, and grasshopper made a deal and told every one in the world to come see if the frog, flea, or grasshopper have a higher jump.

      • Edited for grammar and fluidity: The frog, flea, king, and grasshopper all made a deal and told everyone in the world to come see who had the higher jump.


Good! Changed the wording around.


In conclusion, this is the way how to obtain the treasure.

      • Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, having the highest jump was the only way to obtain the treasure.


Great use of grammar!


Final Edit:

According to the rules, the only way to obtain the treasure was to have the highest jump. The frog, flea, king, and grasshopper all made a deal and told everyone in the world to come see who had the higher jump. In conclusion, having the highest jump was the only way to obtain the treasure.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: There is one reason how Gerda's trip was difficult. Its about hunger and health and safety. One reason is because in the story every one in the house was cold and had not lots of food. In conclusion this is how safety and starvation and weather were difficult in this trip.

Edits:


There is one reason how Gerda's trip was difficult. Its about hunger and health and safety.

      • Edited for fluidity: Hunger, health, and safety made Gerda's trip very difficult.


Combined these two sentences to make the first sentence flow better!


One reason is because in the story every one in the house was cold and had not lots of food.

      • Edited for grammar and clarity: The article discussed that everyone in the house was cold and very limited on food.


Good! Start this sentence with 'In the article' so the reader knows it is from there.


In conclusion this is how safety and starvation and weather were difficult in this trip.

      • Edited for punctuation: In conclusion, this is how safety, starvation, and weather made Gerda's trip difficult.


Make sure to add a comma after the word 'conclusion'

Final Edit:

Hunger, health, and safety made Gerda's trip very difficult. The article discussed that everyone in the house was cold and very limited on food. In conclusion, this is how safety, starvation, and weather made Gerda's trip difficult.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware


Original: There is one way how the soapsuds were used. They were used on rose petals. One reason is since there were bugs on the plant that were like pests. According to text it states, the soapsuds were like a horrid drink and painful.

Edits:


There is one way how the soapsuds were used. They were used on rose petals.

      • Edited for clarity and spelling: The soapsuds were used in one way and that way was for rose pedals.


Good first sentence! Make sure you use the right spelling for pedals there are two meanings. Also, take out 'the' at the beginning of the sentence.


One reason is since there were bugs on the plant that were like pests.

      • Edited for fluidity: Since there were bugs on the plants, they acted like pests.


Changed the wording around to make the sentence flow better.


According to text it states, the soapsuds were like a horrid drink and painful.

      • Edited for clarity: According to the text, "The soap-suds were like a horrid drink and painful."


Make sure to put a dash in between 'soap-suds.'

Add a conclusion statement

      • In conclusion, this was the main reason how the soapsuds were used.

Final Edit:

Soapsuds were used in one way and that way was for rose pedals. Since there were bugs on the plants, they acted like pests. According to the text, "The soap-suds were like a horrid drink and painful." In conclusion, this was the main reason how soapsuds were used.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware








..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Original: There was one thing that made the merchant wealthy. The thing that made the merchant wealthy was a golden feather. There is one reason how the feather made him wealthy which is that he put it on his head it gave him a pen, rice and gold. The text states that, the merchant can turn a golden plate to a noble shield.

Edits:

      • There was one thing that made the merchant wealthy. The thing that made the merchant wealthy was a golden feather.


Edited for clarity: There was only one thing that made the merchant wealthy and it was the golden feather.
Combine these two sentences to make the sentence flow better!

      • There is one reason how the feather made him wealthy which is that he put it on his head it gave him a pen, rice and gold. The text states that, the merchant can turn a golden plate to a noble shield.


Edited for fluidity: The golden feather was to be put on his head which gave him a pen, rice, and gold. This made the merchant turn a golden plate to a noble shield.
Changed the wording around a bit. After 'and' always put a comma after it.

      • Add a conclusion sentence

In conclusion, the golden feather was the one thing that made the merchant wealthy.

Final Edit:

There was only one thing that made the merchant wealthy and it was the golden feather. The golden feather was to be put on his head which gave him a pen, rice, and gold. This made the merchant turn a golden plate to a noble shield. In conclusion, the golden feather was the one thing that made the merchant wealthy.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There is one reason how one of the trees are most kind. The most kind is the plum or apple tree. One reason is because the plum or apple tree is something like an award. According to text it states, the plum or apple tree was a one of a kind token.

Edits:

      • There is one reason how one of the trees are most kind. The most kind is the plum or apple tree.


Edited for fluidity: The plum and apple trees are the kindest trees throughout this story.
Combine these two sentences to make the first sentence flow better!

      • One reason is because the plum or apple tree is something like an award. According to text it states, the plum or apple tree was a one of a kind token.


Edited for fluidity: The plum and apple trees were very much like awards and were one of a kind tokens, according to the text.
Combine these sentences and add 'according to the text' at the very end of the sentence.

      • Add a concluding statement ***

In conclusion, the plum and apple trees were very alike due to their kindness.

Final Edit:

The plum and apple trees are the kindest trees throughout this story. The plum and apple trees were very much like awards and were one of a kind tokens, according to the text. In conclusion, the plum and apple trees were very alike due to their kindness.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: There is one reason how the buckwheat and the willow tree are different. There were many differences but i picked size. One reason is because the willow tree was large and the buck wheat was not large. According to text it states, the both were the opposite and the willow was rather large.

Edits:

      • There is one reason how the buckwheat and the willow tree are different. There were many differences but i picked size.


Edited for clarity: There are many reasons why the buckwheat and willow tree differ from each other but one reason that stood out to me was their sizes.
Combined the first two sentences to make them flow better! Great first sentence.

      • One reason is because the willow tree was large and the buck wheat was not large.


Edited for clarity: The willow tree is large while the buckwheat tree is much smaller.
Take out 'one reason' and buckwheat is one word.

      • According to text it states, the both were the opposite and the willow was rather large.


We can take this sentence out because it is already stated in the previous sentence.

      • Adding a conclusion sentence ***

In conclusion, the reason why the buckwheat and willow trees were different from each other was because of their sizes.

Final Edit:

There are many reasons why the buckwheat and willow tree differ from each other but one reason that stood out to me was their sizes. The willow tree is large while the buckwheat tree is much smaller. In conclusion, the reason why the buckwheat and willow trees were different from each other was because of their sizes.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: In this story there is only one thing the youngest mermaid pleasures about. She wants to learn about humans. One reason is because she wants to get advice of what it's like to be a human. According to it states that," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about human beings".

Edits:

      • In this story there is only one thing the youngest mermaid pleasures about. She wants to learn about humans.


Edited for fluidity: In this story, there is only one thing the youngest mermaid pleasures about and that is she wants to learn about humans.
Combined these two sentences and add a comma after 'story'

      • One reason is because she wants to get advice of what it's like to be a human.


Edited for clarity and grammar: She was curious and wanted to get advice on what it's like to be a human.
Changed some wording around to make the sentence flow better.

      • According to it states that," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about human beings".


Edited for clarity: According to the text it states, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about human beings."
Make sure the period mark goes inside the quotations!

      • Adding a conclusion sentence ***

In conclusion, the youngest mermaid was curious to learn about humans.

Final Edit:

In this story, there is only one thing the youngest mermaid pleasured about and that is she wants to learn about humans. She was curious and wanted to get advice on what it's like to be a human. According to the text it states, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about human beings." In conclusion, the youngest mermaid was curious to learn about humans.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: There is one solid reason how Boston Dynamics's robots are helping in the current virus called COVID 19. They are helping since they are letting doctors not take risks. One reason they are helping is so doctors don't need to go next to patients who have the virus. According to text it states, robots could have conservations with their patients so doctors cant get infected.

Edits:

      • There is one solid reason how Boston Dynamics's robots are helping in the current virus called COVID 19.


Edited for grammar: There is one solid reason how Boston Dynamics' robots are helping with COVID-19.
Changed the wording around to make the first sentence more clear.

      • They are helping since they are letting doctors not take risks. One reason they are helping is so doctors don't need to go next to patients who have the virus.


Edited for clarity: For doctors not to take risks, the robots are helping so that they do not need to go near patients who have the virus.
Combined these two sentences to fully understand why the robots are being used!

      • According to text it states, robots could have conservations with their patients so doctors cant get infected.


Edited for clarity and punctuation: According to the text it states, "Robots could have conversations with their patients so doctors can't get infected."
Make sure to put quotations around a sentence used in the article.

      • Adding a conclusion sentence ***


In conclusion, these are why the Boston Dynamics' robots are helping doctors in hospitals.

Final Edit:

There is one solid reason how Boston Dynamics' robots are helping with COVID-19. For doctors not to take risks, the robots are helping so that they do not need to go near patients who have the virus. According to the text it states, "Robots could have conversations with their patients so doctors can't get infected." In conclusion, these are why Boston Dynamics' robots are helping doctors in hospitals.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware





Original: There is one explanation that explains what happens when you sleep. Most answer that you get dreams and nightmares but that is only the first part. The second part is that when you sleep you are actually getting rid of toxins in your head. So if you want to look at what the author actually states this is what the passage states,"if you get 8 hours of sleep your brain gets rid of more toxins than if you have less than 8 hours of sleep".

Edits:

      • There is one explanation that explains what happens when you sleep.


Edited for clarity: There are a few reasons that explain what happens when you sleep.
Not one reason, but a few.

      • Most answer that you get dreams and nightmares but that is only the first part. The second part is that when you sleep you are actually getting rid of toxins in your head.


Edited for clarity: To begin, we all have dreams and nightmares and that when we actually sleep, we are getting rid of toxins in our head.
Instead of 'you' use 'we' and combine these two sentences.

      • So if you want to look at what the author actually states this is what the passage states,"if you get 8 hours of sleep your brain gets rid of more toxins than if you have less than 8 hours of sleep".


Edited for clarity: The author stated, "If you get eight hours of sleep, your brain gets rid of more toxins than if you have less than eight hours of sleep."
Changed some wording around a little bit.

      • In conclusion, this is what happens when we sleep.


Final Edit: There are a few reasons that explain what happens when you sleep. To begin, we all have dreams and nightmares and that when we actually sleep, we are getting rid of toxins in our heads. The author stated, "If you get eight hours of sleep, your brain gets rid of more toxins than if you have less than eight hours of sleep." In conclusion, this is what happens when we sleep.



Original: There are two ways to help earth. One way is to stop litter and people from polluting. Another way is to use less water since 1 percent of the water on earth can be used and did you know that if you make the faucet run while your brushing your teeth your wasting at least 8 gallons of water. According to text it states,"people can only use 1 percent of water the rest have salt".

Edits:

      • There are two ways to help earth.


Edited for grammar and clarity: There are a couple of ways that people can help Earth.
Instead of saying 'two ways' say 'a couple of ways' and Earth should be capitalized.

      • One way is to stop litter and people from polluting. Another way is to use less water since 1 percent of the water on earth can be used and did you know that if you make the faucet run while your brushing your teeth your wasting at least 8 gallons of water.


Edited for clarity: One way is to stop littering and polluting and another way is to use less water since one percent of the water on Earth can be used.
'and did you know' - that sentence should be in the next sentence.

      • and did you know that if you make the faucet run while your brushing your teeth your wasting at least 8 gallons of water.


Edited for fluidity and grammar: Did you know that if you let the faucet run while you're brushing your teeth, you are wasting at least eight gallons of water.
Make sure to know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'

      • According to text it states,"people can only use 1 percent of water the rest have salt".


I would take this sentence out and put in a sentence with a conclusion.


In conclusion, this is how we can stop pollution and littering.

Final Edit: There are a couple of ways that people can help Earth. One way is to stop littering and polluting and another way is to use less water since one percent of the water on Earth can be used. Did you know that if you let the faucet run while you're brushing your teeth, you are wasting at least eight gallons of water? In conclusion, this is how we can stop pollution and littering.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There is one reason how these teens are helping the seniors. They are helping by selling food even though we are in this conditions of a virus. One reason that shows that they are helping is they are risking their lives and they are using gloves to give the foods and wipe the bags. According to text it states," they wipe the bags and put them In front of their house and get the money with there gloves".

Edits:

      • There is one reason how these teens are helping the seniors. They are helping by selling food even though we are in this conditions of a virus.


Edited for grammar and fluidity: These teens are helping the seniors by selling food even though we are in these conditions of a virus.
Combined these two sentences to make them flow better.

      • One reason that shows that they are helping is they are risking their lives and they are using gloves to give the foods and wipe the bags.


Edited for clarity: One reason that shows they are helping the seniors by wearing gloves when delivering groceries and wiping down the bags.
Made a few changes in word choices to make the sentence flow better.

      • According to text it states," they wipe the bags and put them In front of their house and get the money with there gloves".


Edited for clarity and grammar: According to the text it states, "They wipe the bags and put them in front of their house and get the money with their gloves."
Make sure to capitalize the first word when quoting something from the article. Also, the period goes inside the quotations.

Final Edit: These teens are helping the seniors by selling food even though we are in these conditions of a virus. One reason that shows they are helping the seniors by wearing gloves when delivering groceries and wiping down the bags. According to the text it states, "They wipe the bags and put them in front of their house and get the money with their gloves."

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There is one reason how earths community will celebrate earth days 50th Anniversary during this pandemic. The community will celebrate earth day with indoor programs and many fun activities. One of these activities is a sing along where people sing songs about earth. According to text it says," people will get a list of 30 songs to sing then the post them singing on twitter and put three types of #".

      • There is one reason how earths community will celebrate earth days 50th Anniversary during this pandemic.


Edited for grammar and clarity: There is one reason how the Earth's community will celebrate Earth Day's 50th Anniversary during this pandemic.
Capitalize 'Earth's' and 'Earth Day's'. Good first sentence!

      • The community will celebrate earth day with indoor programs and many fun activities. One of these activities is a sing along where people sing songs about earth.


Edited for grammar and fluidity: The community will celebrate Earth Day with indoor programs and many fun activities like a sing-along where people sing songs about Earth.
Combine these two sentences and put a dash between sing-along

      • According to text it says," people will get a list of 30 songs to sing then the post them singing on twitter and put three types of #".


Edited for grammar: According to the text it says, "People will get a list of 30 songs to sing then the post them singing on Twitter and put three types of #."
Make sure the quotations are connected to the first word in the sentence.

Final Edit: There is one reason how the Earth's community will celebrate Earth Day's 50th Anniversary during this pandemic. The community will celebrate Earth Day with indoor programs and many fun activities like a sing-along where people sing songs about Earth. According to the text it says, "People will get a list of 30 songs to sing then the post them singing on Twitter and put three types of #."

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: William did have a accomplishment which was to help hungry children. One reason this is a accomplishment is he helped many hungry children get to eat food. Another reason this is an accomplishment is he told people at his local food lion to buy food for his food drive kids company and the people he told did buy the food for his company.In the text it states he went to his local food lion and came out with more than 55,000 pounds of food.

Edits:

      • William did have a accomplishment which was to help hungry children.


Edited for fluidity and word choice: William had many accomplishments which were to help starving children.
'a' needs to be 'an' and instead of 'hungry' change the word to 'starving'

      • One reason this is a accomplishment is he helped many hungry children get to eat food.


Edited for clarity: One accomplishment is that he helped many starving children eat food.
Put 'one accomplishment' instead of 'one reason this is an accomplishment'

      • Another reason this is an accomplishment is he told people at his local food lion to buy food for his food drive kids company and the people he told did buy the food for his company.


Edited for fluidity: Another accomplishment is that he told people at his local food lion to buy food for his food drive kids company and the people he told bought this food for his company.
'another accomplishment' instead of 'another reason this is an accomplishment'

      • In the text it states he went to his local food lion and came out with more than 55,000 pounds of food.


Edited for grammar: Also, the text states he went to his local food lion and came out with more than 55,000 pounds of food.

Final Edit:

William had many accomplishments which were to help starving children. One accomplishment is that he helped many starving children eat food. Another accomplishment is that he told people at his local food lion to buy food for his food drive kids company and the people he told bought this food for his company. Also, the text states he went to his local food lion and came out with more than 55,000 pounds of food.


Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Original: There are two good reasons why this Japan graduation is different from original graduations. The first reason is they are using a app called zoom which lets you talk on a device like FaceTime. Another reason is they are using robots for the graduation. According to text it says, robots wearing gowns and a cap with a tablet on the top with video of the person is seen in this graduation.

Edits:

      • There are two good reasons why this Japan graduation is different from original graduations.


Edited for clarity: There are two reasons why this graduation in Japan is different from original graduations.
Take out the word 'good' and switched the sentence around a little bit.

      • The first reason is they are using a app called zoom which lets you talk on a device like FaceTime. Another reason is they are using robots for the graduation.


Edited for grammar, capitalization, and fluidity: One reason is that they are using an application called Zoom which lets you talk on a device like FaceTime and the second reason is that they are robots for graduation.
Start the sentence with 'One reason' and 'app' should be 'application' and the word Zoom needs to be capitalized. Combined these two sentences to make it flow better

      • According to text it says, robots wearing gowns and a cap with a tablet on the top with video of the person is seen in this graduation.


Edited for grammar and clarity: According to the text, it says "Robots wearing gowns and a cap with a tablet on the top with a video of the person are seen in this graduation."
Put quotations around the text.

Final Edit: There are two reasons why this graduation in Japan is different from original graduations. One reason is that they are using an application called Zoom which lets you talk on a device like FaceTime and the second reason is that they are robots for graduation. According to the text, it says "Robots wearing gowns and a cap with a tablet on the top with a video of the person are seen in this graduation."

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware





There are two good reasons why all the people who entered the program to become an astronaut didn't get to be an astronaut. One reason is only very few spots are available in the astronaut training program. Another reason is there was a set of trials that were very hard so even if you were selected you still need to complete the difficult course. The text also states between march 2 and march 31, 12,000 people applied to become an astronaut while only few were allowed.



Original: There are two different opinions from Governor Cuomo and Mayor Blasio. Mayor Cuomo wants kids to go to school but not Mayor Blasio. Another reason is Blasio wants schooling at home. According to text it says ,"Cuomo thinks Blasio is premature.

Edits:

      • There are two different opinions from Governor Cuomo and Mayor Blasio.


Edited for fluidity: There are two different opinions from Governor Cuomo and Mayor Blasio.
Make sure you only put once space instead of two when making a sentence!

      • Mayor Cuomo wants kids to go to school but not Mayor Blasio. Another reason is Blasio wants schooling at home.


Edited for clarity: Governor Cuomo wants kids to go to school but Mayor Blasio disagrees and wants schooling at home.
Make sure you know the difference between the Mayor and the Governor! Governor Cuomo and Mayor Blasio.

      • According to text it says ,"Cuomo thinks Blasio is premature.


Edited for fluidity: According to the text, Cuomo thinks Blasio is premature.
Make sure you are consistent with your spacing. Take out the quotes because you already said it was from the text.

Final Edit: There are two different opinions from Governor Cuomo and Mayor Blasio. Governor Cuomo wants kids to go to school but Mayor Blasio disagrees and wants schooling at home. According to the text, Cuomo thinks Blasio is premature.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware






Original: There are many reasons the birds went to south. One reason is because they are on their annual journey north. Another reason is they to go find mates and breed. According to text it says that,"The males put on their beautiful plumage to go attract mates.

Edits:

      • There are many reasons the birds went to south.


Edited for grammar: There are a couple of reasons why the birds traveled to the south.
put 'the' in from of 'south' and front

      • One reason is because they are on their annual journey north. Another reason is they to go find mates and breed.


Edited for fluidity: One reason is that they are on their annual journey north and another reason is that that they go find mates to breed.

      • According to text it says that,"The males put on their beautiful plumage to go attract mates.


Edited for grammar: According to the text, "The males put on their beautiful plumage to go attract mates."
Take out 'it says'

Final Edit: There are a couple of reasons why the birds traveled to the south. One reason is that they are on their annual journey north and another reason is that they go find mates to breed. According to the text, "The males put on their beautiful plumage to go attract mates."

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original: The main idea in this article is that while people are inside, animals are getting the opportunity to go outside and play. Coronavirus is letting people stay inside but animals now won't get bothered by people. One reason is since now animals get to stay outside and do what ever they want. According to the text it says, "animals in the wild are flourishing while humans stay indoors".

Edits:

      • The main idea in this article is that while people are inside, animals are getting the opportunity to go outside and play.


Edited for word choice: The main idea of this article is that while people have to stay inside, animals are getting the opportunity to go outside and play.
Instead of 'are inside' say 'have to stay inside'

      • Coronavirus is letting people stay inside but animals now won't get bothered by people.


Edited for fluidity: With the Coronavirus making people stay inside, animals now won't be bothered by people.

      • One reason is since now animals get to stay outside and do what ever they want. According to the text it says, "animals in the wild are flourishing while humans stay indoors".


Edited for clarity: According to the text, it says, "Animals in the wild are flourishing while humans stay indoors." This is occurring because we are stuck inside while animals get to stay outside and do whatever they want.
Put the quotations at the beginning of the sentence then discuss how animals can do whatever they want.

Final Edit:

The main idea of this article is explaining that while people have to stay inside, animals are getting the opportunity to go outside and play. With the Coronavirus making people stay inside, animals now won't be bothered by people. According to the text, it says, "Animals in the wild are flourishing while humans stay indoors." This is occurring because we are stuck inside while animals get to stay outside and do whatever they want.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Orginal: Kids and adults should practice social distancing. One reason is so we can act fast if the covid19 rates get higher. Another reason is so we can practice not spreading germs.In addition this is how kids and adults should practice social distancing.

Edits:

      • Kids and adults should practice social distancing.


Social distancing needs to be taken seriously and there are a few reasons why kids and adults should practice this.

      • One reason is so we can act fast if the covid19 rates get higher. Another reason is so we can practice not spreading germs.


Edited for clarity: One reason is so we can act fast if the COVID19 rates begin to rise. Another reason is to practice not spreading germs.
Put in transition words like 'another' and 'one reason'. This makes the sentence flow much better. Also, there are two spaces in between get higher. Capitalize COVID.

      • In addition this is how kids and adults should practice social distancing.


Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is how kids and adults should practice social distancing.
Instead of 'In addition' put 'In conclusion due to it being the last sentence in the paragraph.

Final Edit:

Social distancing needs to be taken seriously and there are a few reasons why kids and adults should practice this. One reason is so we can act fast if the COVID19 rates begin to rise. Another reason is to practice not spreading germs. In conclusion, this is how kids and adults should practice social distancing.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware




Orginal: JK Rowling new website could help. One reason is since it could entertain kids and adults while on the coronavirus quarantine.Another reason is because kids can do ELA and reading improvements. So in addition this is how JK Rowling new website could help.

Edits:

      • JK Rowling new website could help.


Edited for fluidity, clarity, and grammar: There are many reasons that J.K. Rowling's new website could help people who are on lockdown.
Instead of having a broad first sentence, we can say that there are many reasons why this website is great. Alos, An 's' needs to be put after Rowling and J.K. is an abbreviation.

      • One reason is since it could entertain kids and adults while on the coronavirus quarantine.


Edited for clarity: One reason is that it can entertain kids and adults while in quarantine.
No need to put coronavirus before the word quarantine.

      • Another reason is because kids can do ELA and reading improvements. So in addition this is how JK Rowling new website could help.


Edited for fluidity: Another reason is that kids can do ELA and reading improvements.
Instead of 'because' it should be 'that.'

      • So in addition this is how JK Rowling new website could help.


Edited for clarity: In conclusion, J.K. Rowling's new website will help kids and adults during the quarantine.
Instead of 'in addition' put 'in conclusion' to end the last sentence.

Final Edit:

There are many reasons that J.K. Rowling's new website could help people who are on lockdown. One reason is that it can entertain kids and adults while in quarantine. Another reason is that kids can do ELA and reading improvements. In conclusion, J.K. Rowling's new website will help kids and adults during the quarantine.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware





Original: The Olympics games were canceled because of the coronavirus. One reason is since Japan Prime Minister wanted to assure the safety of people involved in the Olympics. Another reason is to wait until the pandemic was over. This is why Olympics game was canceled.

Edits:

      • The Olympics games were canceled because of the coronavirus.

Edited for clarity: There are a couple of reasons why the Olympics games were canceled because of the Coronavirus.
Threw in some keywords to make the sentence flow better.

      • One reason is since Japan Prime Minister wanted to assure the safety of people involved in the Olympics.


Edited for clarity: One reason is that the Japan Prime Minister wants to assure the safety of people involved in the Olympics.
Take out the word 'since'

      • Another reason is to wait until the pandemic was over.


Edited for grammar: Another reason is to wait until the pandemic is over.
Change 'was' to 'is'

      • This is why Olympics game was canceled.

Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this is why the Olympics are canceled.
Since this is the last sentence, start with a closing tradition.

Original: There are a couple of reasons why the Olympics games were canceled because of the Coronavirus. One reason is that the Japan Prime Minister wants to assure the safety of people involved in the Olympics. Another reason is to wait until the pandemic is over. In conclusion, this is why the Olympics are canceled.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware







Original: The two most fun activities in this activity list are the snowball fight and legos. One reason is since in the lego one, you get to engineer and build. Another reason is that in the snowball fight you could feel like you are outside playing a snowball fight in winter. This is how lego and snowball fight is the most fun.

Edits:

      • The two most fun activities in this activity list are the snowball fight and legos.


Edited for grammar and clarity: The two activities in this list that sound the most fun are the snowball fights and the Legos.
Take out the word 'most' and take out the word 'activity' before list. Legos should be capitalized because it is a trademark.

      • One reason is since in the lego one, you get to engineer and build.


Edited for grammar and clarity: One reason that the Lego activity is my favorite because you get to engineer and build.
Changed the wording around a little to sound more clear.

      • Another reason is that in the snowball fight you could feel like you are outside playing a snowball fight in winter.


Edited for fluidity: Another reason that the snowball fight is my favorite because you can feel like you are playing outside in the winter.
Changed the wording around to make the sentence sound more clear.

      • This is how lego and snowball fight is the most fun.


Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this is why I like the Lego and snowball fight the most.
Start the last sentence with 'in conclusion'

Final Edit: The two activities in this list that sound the most fun are the snowball fights and the Legos. One reason that the Lego activity is my favorite because you get to engineer and build. Another reason that the snowball fight is my favorite because you can feel like you are playing outside in the winter. In conclusion, this is why I like the Lego and snowball fight the most.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware







Original: Parents can be helpful teachers.One reason is they are the the ones that taught you how to do things. According to the text, it says parents taught you since when you were younger you would try to imitate what your parents were doing.That is why your parent can be a helpful teacher.

Edits:

      • Parents can be helpful teachers.


Edited for fluidity: There are a couple of ways that parents can be helpful teachers.
To make the sentence more structured, I put in a few key words.

      • One reason is they are the the ones that taught you how to do things.


Edited for grammar and clarity: One reason is that they are the ones that taught us how to do things.
Take away the word 'the' it is duplicated.

      • According to the text, it says parents taught you since when you were younger you would try to imitate what your parents were doing.


Edited for clarity: According to the text, parents taught us since we were younger that we would try to imitate what they were doing.
Take out 'it says' because you already stated 'according to the text'

      • That is why your parent can be a helpful teacher.


Edited for grammar: In conclusion, this is why our parents can be helpful teachers.
Make this sentence plural and since it is the last sentence, put 'in conclusion' at the beginning.

Final Edit: There are a couple of ways that parents can be helpful teachers. One reason is that they are the ones that taught us how to do things. According to the text, parents taught us since we were younger that we would try to imitate what they were doing. In conclusion, this is why our parents can be helpful teachers.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware



Original:

   To avoid and stay healthy and away from covid_19.To stay away from covid_19 is to put your  hands off your face. Since your hands have the most germs since they touch every thing.Another way to stay away from getting a common cold or cold air since the virus likes cold stuff. This is how to stay away from coronavirus.

Comments:

To avoid and stay healthy and away from covid_19.To stay away from covid_19 is to put your hands off your face.

      • edited for clarity- The best way to avoid becoming infected by the COVID_19 virus is to avoid touching your face.

-your first sentence should restate the question so that you can then address it.

Since your hands have the most germs since they touch every thing.

      • edited for clarity and fluidity- The COVID_19 virus, like the flu, affects the nose, throat, and lungs. Therefore, to avoid touching your face helps in keeping the germs away from those areas.

- use the information provided in the article to provide evidence to back your previous statement.

Another way to stay away from getting a common cold or cold air since the virus likes cold stuff.

      • edited for fluidity- Health officials recommend following the same steps you would to avoid getting the common cold. Basically, you should frequently wash your hands and avoid coughing or sneezing into your hands or without covering your nose or mouth.

-rely on information from the article to back your argument.

Edited version:

The best way to avoid becoming infected by the COVID_19 virus is to avoid touching your face. The COVID_19 virus, like the flu, affects the nose, throat, and lungs. Therefore, to avoid touching your face helps in keeping the germs away from those areas. Health officials recommend following the same steps you would to avoid getting the common cold. Basically, you should frequently wash your hands and avoid coughing or sneezing into your hands or without covering your nose or mouth.