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  Arsh writing page
 
  Arsh writing page
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He was very surprised  by it and asked how much credit will he take because crows never work they just fly eat sleep and but he just flew away so he did nothing but flew and left the farmer him self and got no credit  but the cattles did much work walk carry let people ride and eat sleep and helpful stuff to help people and the crow flew a way with out doing any thing and selfishly flew a way and helping he said sure but just went off in the air
 
He was very surprised  by it and asked how much credit will he take because crows never work they just fly eat sleep and but he just flew away so he did nothing but flew and left the farmer him self and got no credit  but the cattles did much work walk carry let people ride and eat sleep and helpful stuff to help people and the crow flew a way with out doing any thing and selfishly flew a way and helping he said sure but just went off in the air
  
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He was very surprised  by it and asked how much credit will he take <br>
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According to the story, the farmer was very surprised by the raven's remark. <br>
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'''***Edited to refer back to the question, clarify who "he" is, change "crow" to "raven" to maintain accuracy to the characters in the story and add a period to indicate a complete sentence.
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because crows never work they just fly eat sleep <br>
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The raven never worked and just flew, ate, and slept. <br>
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'''***Edited for accuracy and punctuation.'''
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and but he just flew away so he did nothing but flew and left the farmer him self and got no credit <br>
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The raven flew away proving he did nothing, even though he took credit for the farmer's work. <br>
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'''***Edited for accuracy, punctuation and clarity.'''
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but the cattles did much work walk carry let people ride and eat sleep and helpful stuff to help people <br>
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The cattle also did more work than the raven because they helped people and didn't just sleep. <br>
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'''***Edited for accuracy and clarity.'''
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and the crow flew a way with out doing any thing and selfishly flew a way and helping he said sure but just went off in the air <br>
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The raven flew away without doing any work and behaved very selfishly. <br>
 +
'''***Edited for accuracy, clarity and punctuation.'''
 +
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  According to the story, the farmer was very surprised by the raven's remark. The raven never worked and just flew, ate, and slept. The raven flew away proving he did nothing, even though he took credit for the farmer's work. The cattle also did more work than the raven because they helped people and didn't just sleep. The raven flew away without doing any work and behaved very selfishly. <br>
 +
'''***Make sure to punctuate your essay to indicate clear complete sentences. The reader becomes very confused and lost when there's no indication as to where one thought ends and another begins. Include quotes from the story to support your claims. Follow the (P1)R-A-A (P2)R-A-C-E-A-C-E (P3)R-A-A and condense you essay to include only details relevant to your answer to the prompt.'''
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'''***Edited by Nicole Glidden'''
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Latest revision as of 05:19, 30 July 2020

Arsh writing page

He was very surprised by it and asked how much credit will he take because crows never work they just fly eat sleep and but he just flew away so he did nothing but flew and left the farmer him self and got no credit but the cattles did much work walk carry let people ride and eat sleep and helpful stuff to help people and the crow flew a way with out doing any thing and selfishly flew a way and helping he said sure but just went off in the air

He was very surprised by it and asked how much credit will he take
According to the story, the farmer was very surprised by the raven's remark.
***Edited to refer back to the question, clarify who "he" is, change "crow" to "raven" to maintain accuracy to the characters in the story and add a period to indicate a complete sentence.

because crows never work they just fly eat sleep
The raven never worked and just flew, ate, and slept.
***Edited for accuracy and punctuation.

and but he just flew away so he did nothing but flew and left the farmer him self and got no credit
The raven flew away proving he did nothing, even though he took credit for the farmer's work.
***Edited for accuracy, punctuation and clarity.

but the cattles did much work walk carry let people ride and eat sleep and helpful stuff to help people
The cattle also did more work than the raven because they helped people and didn't just sleep.
***Edited for accuracy and clarity.

and the crow flew a way with out doing any thing and selfishly flew a way and helping he said sure but just went off in the air
The raven flew away without doing any work and behaved very selfishly.
***Edited for accuracy, clarity and punctuation.


  According to the story, the farmer was very surprised by the raven's remark. The raven never worked and just flew, ate, and slept. The raven flew away proving he did nothing, even though he took credit for the farmer's work. The cattle also did more work than the raven because they helped people and didn't just sleep. The raven flew away without doing any work and behaved very selfishly. 

***Make sure to punctuate your essay to indicate clear complete sentences. The reader becomes very confused and lost when there's no indication as to where one thought ends and another begins. Include quotes from the story to support your claims. Follow the (P1)R-A-A (P2)R-A-C-E-A-C-E (P3)R-A-A and condense you essay to include only details relevant to your answer to the prompt.

***Edited by Nicole Glidden






This lake is enchanted because of its goods like med and animals and many others.



It feels like there noting there but there is many animals plants and others and in the text it says"it is a medicine lake.



There are really hard to find because there are invisible.



The atagahi the enchanted lake it is a gentle and com but not empty because there animals and plants and it haves goods and many others and it has meds and they are like invisible and hard to see and it a great place


According to the story, the lake is enchanted because of its ability to heal animals.
***Edited for clarity and to reference the question.

The lake is hidden and appears nonexistent, but there are actually many animals and plants.
***Edited for clarity.

In the text it states, "it is a medicine lake.
Edited for fluency and punctuation.

The lake is hard to find.
***Edited for clarity.

The enchanted lake is gentle and calm but not empty, because there are animals and plants.
***Edited for clarity and to avoid a run on sentence.

The lake is a great place.
***Edited for clarity.


  The lake is enchanted because of its ability to heal animals. The lake is hidden and appears nonexistent, but there are actually many animals and plants. In the text it states, "it is a medicine lake." The lake is hard to find. The enchanted lake is gentle and calm, but not empty, because there are animals and plants. The lake is a great place. 

***Make sure to double check your spelling and use simple sentences to make sure every sentence contains a subject and verb. Also include a direct quote from the text.

***Edited by Nicole Glidden






The boy was able to get out of the stomach of the fish because the boy got hangry. He cut off a piece of the fish's liver and the fish vomited the boy out and was free.

The boy was able to get out of the the fish by cutting of the fish's liver therefore. The fish vomited the boy out according to. the text he become very hangry and looking around he saw the fish's liver and thinking dried meat he tried to cut a piece with a mussel shell he had been playing with and still held in hand the the fish and it vomited the boy.So the boy got hangry cut a piece of the fish's liver and vomited him out."

In conclusion,the boy was about to get out the fish vomited him out .The boys hangry made him cut off the fish's liver this made the fish vomited and spit him out."

The boy was able to get out of the stomach of the fish because he got hungry.
***Edited for fluency and spelling.

He cut off a piece of the fish's liver and the fish vomited the boy out.
***Edited to avoid a run-on.

The boy was able to get out of the the fish by cutting off a piece of the fish's liver.
***Edited for clarity.

The fish vomited the boy out.
***Edited to make a complete thought.

According to the text, the boy became hungry and cut the fish's liver because he thought it was a piece of dried meat, which cause the fish to vomit him out.
***Edited for clarity.

In conclusion, the boy escaped the fish.
***Edited for clarity.

The boy's hunger made him cut off the fish's liver.
***Edited for punctuation and clarity.

  The boy was able to get out of the stomach of the fish because he got hungry. He cut off a piece of the fish's liver and the fish vomited the boy out.
  The boy was able to get out of the the fish by cutting off a piece of the fish's liver. The fish vomited the boy out. According to the text, the boy became hungry and cut the fish's liver because he thought it was a piece of dried meat, which cause the fish to vomit him out. 
  In conclusion, the boy escaped the fish. The boy's hunger made him cut off the fish's liver. 

***Make sure to include a direct quote from the text and read your sentences out loud to make sure they make sense.

Edited by Nicole Glidden




The nice tree in the is burdock I know because in the text it states “he was nice and kind and also caring helping the others”and it says in the text”he helps everybody in need and he is loved by everybody because of his kindness and friendship and help and is cared and has loyalty and love and respect and cared


The nice tree in the is burdock

*** Please use periods at the end of each sentence. Also capitalize the first word in each sentence. Add a period after “burdock.” This sentence is incomplete. What comes after “the”?

Edited sentence: The nice tree in the story is the burdock.

I know because in the text it states “he was nice and kind and also caring helping the others”

*** Avoid first person point of view (“I”) and use third person point of view instead. Remove “I know because.” Add a period after “others.” Make sure to quote exactly from the text. Where is this quote in the story?

Edited sentence: In the text it states “he was nice and kind and also caring helping the others.”

and it says in the text”he helps everybody in need and he is loved by everybody because of his kindness and friendship and help and is cared and has loyalty and love and respect and cared

*** Add a quotation mark at the end of a quote. Add “also” before “says.” Add a space after “text.” Make sure to quote exactly from the text. Where is this quote in the story?

Edited sentence: And it says in the text, “he helps everybody in need and he is loved by everybody because of his kindness and friendship and help and is cared and has loyalty and love and respect and cared.”

*** Please use periods at the end of each sentence, otherwise I cannot tell where a sentence starts. Also capitalize the first word in each sentence. Make sure to quote exactly from the text.

Edited paragraph:

The nice tree in the story is the burdock. In the text it states “he was nice and kind and also caring helping the others.” And it says in the text, “he helps everybody in need and he is loved by everybody because of his kindness and friendship and help and is cared and has loyalty and love and respect and cared.”

Edited by Penny Yagake






The difference of a willo tree and a buckwheat it they are looks are different and the reason they use it and what it does and it also states”they do many different stuff and are used many ways but is different” and they are different seeds and stages and grow different and the name and there are different places and are different but the whether or poor and rich soil and cold and hot and forest or tundra or many more


The difference of a willo tree and a buckwheat it they are looks are different and the reason they use it and what it does

*** Change “difference of” to “difference between.” Add a “w” at the end of “willo.” Remove “a” before “buckwheat” and change the phrase “it they are looks are” to “is they look.” You can change “the reason they use it and what it does” to “the reason people use them and what they do are also different.”

Edited sentence: The difference between a willow tree and buckwheat is they look different and the reason people use them and what they do are also different.

and it also states”they do many different stuff and are used many ways but is different”

*** This sentence can begin with “The text also states.” Make sure quoted phrases from the text are written correctly according to the text. Add a space before a quote.

Edited sentence: The text also states, “they do many different stuff and are used many ways but is different.”

and they are different seeds and stages and grow different and the name and

*** This sentence can begin with “They have different names, seeds...”

Edited sentence: They have different names, seeds, and stages and grow differently.

there are different places and are different but the whether or poor and rich soil and cold and hot and forest or tundra or many more

*** Add “they” before “and are different.” Add “they have” after “whether.” Change “poor and rich” to “poor or rich.” Change “and forest or tundra” to “such as the forest or tundra.” Change “or many more” to “and many more places.”

Edited sentence: There are different places and they are different whether they have poor or rich soil or they are cold or hot, such as the forest or tundra and many more places.

*** Please place a period at the end of each sentence, otherwise I cannot tell where a sentence begins and ends. Also capitalize the beginning of your sentences. Make sure quoted phrases from the text are written correctly according to the text.

Edited paragraph:

The difference between a willow tree and buckwheat is they look different and the reason people use them and what they do are also different. The text also states, “they do many different stuff and are used many ways but is different.” They have different names, seeds, and stages and grow differently. There are different places and they are different whether they have poor or rich soil or they are cold or hot, such as the forest or tundra and many more places.

Edited by Penny Yagake






The reason why birds migrates because of the long cold winter to escape the cold because it is to cold they have to move place to place and the text states”they are not warm and have to leave and repeat this process every year long and they have no choice”and birds don’t have enough food and water and warmth and all winter they head out to a warm and nice place and a lot of food and water and that is why they migrates.


The reason why birds migrates because of the long cold winter to escape the cold

*** Add “is” before “because.” Remove the “s” at the end of “migrates.” Change “because of” to “during.” Add “is” after “winter.”

Edited sentence: The reason why birds migrate during the long cold winter is to escape the cold.

because it is to cold they have to move place to place and the text states”they are not warm and have to leave and repeat this process every year long and they have no choice”

*** Capitalize the beginning of this sentence. Change “to” into “too.” Add “from” after “move.” Make sure the quote states what is in the text. Add a period at the end of this sentence.

Edited sentence: Because it is too cold they have to move from place to place and the text states “they are not warm and have to leave and repeat this process every year long and they have no choice.”

and birds don’t have enough food and water and warmth and all winter they head out to a warm and nice place and a lot of food and water

*** Change “and” to “The.” Try using commas, as shown in the edited sentence below. Change “and a lot of food and water” to “with a lot of food and water.” Capitalize the beginning of this sentence and add a period at the end of this sentence.

Edited sentence: The birds don’t have enough food, water, and warmth, and all winter they head out to a warm and nice place with a lot of food and water.

and that is why they migrates.

*** Because “they” refers to many birds, that means that the subject is plural. A plural subject should be followed by a plural verb. In this case, “migrate” does not need the “s” at the end.”

Edited sentence: That is why they migrate.

*** Please divide up your sentences using periods instead. Some uses of “and” can be replaced by periods. Make sure that plural subjects are followed by plural verbs — for example, one bird “migrates” but many birds “migrate.”

Edited paragraph:

The reason why birds migrate during the long cold winter is to escape the cold. Because it is too cold they have to move from place to place and the text states “they are not warm and have to leave and repeat this process every year long and they have no choice.” The birds don’t have enough food, water, and warmth, and all winter they head out to a warm and nice place with a lot of food and water. That is why they migrate.

Edited by Penny Yagake






The main idea of the article is that because of COVID19 now it seems like animals are having the greatest time of there life without no one there they seem to like it without no one they are running around jumping eating because in the text it states”Though the animals indeed appear to be having a good time, the heartwarming videos and images shared on social media, are also bringing much-needed cheer to millions of humans worldwide”they seem happy that no ones there and all are indoor.


The main idea of the article is that because of COVID19 now it seems like animals are having the greatest time of there life

*** “COVID19” should be written as “COVID-19.” Remove “now.” The word “there” relates to a place whereas “their” relates to a person or in this case, the animals. Change “there” to “their.” The word “life” should be plural since there is more than one animal. Change “life” to “lives.” Add a period at the end of this sentence.

Edited sentence: The main idea of the article is that because of COVID-19 it seems like animals are having the greatest time of their lives.

without no one there they seem to like it without no one they are running around jumping eating

*** “without no one” does not need to be repeated twice. I replaced the second “without no one” to “because.” Change the first “no one” to “anyone.” I added a comma after “there” and a comma after “around.” Add a period at the end of this sentence and capitalize the first word.

Edited sentence: Without anyone there, they seem to like it because they are running around, jumping and eating.

because in the text it states”Though the animals indeed appear to be having a good time, the heartwarming videos and images shared on social media, are also bringing much-needed cheer to millions of humans worldwide”

*** Remove “because.” Add a space after “states.” Add a period before the last quotation mark and capitalize the first word.

Edited sentence: In the text it states, “Though the animals indeed appear to be having a good time, the heartwarming videos and images shared on social media, are also bringing much-needed cheer to millions of humans worldwide.”

they seem happy that no ones there and all are indoor.

*** Write “no ones” as “no one is.” Add an “s” at the end of “indoor.” Add a period at the end of this sentence and capitalize the first word.

Edited sentence: They seem happy that no one is there and all are indoors.

*** Please use periods to divide up your sentences. Right now the paragraph looks like one big sentence, but the paragraph needs to have more. I split up the sentences to work with them better. Remember each sentence should have the first word capitalized and have a period at the end. Also remember that the word “there” relates to a place whereas “their” relates to a person or in this case, the animals. Additionally, to make space between paragraphs, type in "----" between paragraphs.

Edited paragraph:

The main idea of the article is that because of COVID-19 it seems like animals are having the greatest time of their lives. Without anyone there, they seem to like it because they are running around, jumping and eating. In the text it states, “Though the animals indeed appear to be having a good time, the heartwarming videos and images shared on social media, are also bringing much-needed cheer to millions of humans worldwide.” They seem happy that no one is there and all are indoors.

Edited by Penny Yagake






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