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Boeing stops the 737 Max production
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Cuttlefish Watching 3D movies
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Cuttlefish watching with 3D glasses I think that is cool and fascinating. As the cuttlefish was put on 3Dglasses they placed a screen of a 3D movie of a shrimp going across the screen. The cuttlefish tried to catch it with its tentacles. Binocular visions the brain using images to create a perception of depth. Other creatures have it as well. Even with the cuttlefish's eyes not "yoked" which yoked means looking at the same thing at the same time. They were still able to hunt. The scientists do need more information about how the cuttlefish use cues and spacial information to capture their prey. This is why I believe that cuttlefish are very cool and fascinating.
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https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/cuttlefish-depth-perception-3d-glasses/
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Boeing Stops the 737 Max Production
  
 
Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production for many reasons. Boeing made tens of thousands of parts to create a plane, which cost hundreds of millions they did not pay the money yet because the airplane did not come in yet. Boeing says that they are not reaching the limit of reducing the comings of 12000 strong workforces at the Renton factory. The Wall Street Journal told Boeing settled with Southwest Airlines alone to date for about $830 million. This is why Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production.
 
Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production for many reasons. Boeing made tens of thousands of parts to create a plane, which cost hundreds of millions they did not pay the money yet because the airplane did not come in yet. Boeing says that they are not reaching the limit of reducing the comings of 12000 strong workforces at the Renton factory. The Wall Street Journal told Boeing settled with Southwest Airlines alone to date for about $830 million. This is why Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production.

Revision as of 04:17, 10 January 2020

Cuttlefish Watching 3D movies

Cuttlefish watching with 3D glasses I think that is cool and fascinating. As the cuttlefish was put on 3Dglasses they placed a screen of a 3D movie of a shrimp going across the screen. The cuttlefish tried to catch it with its tentacles. Binocular visions the brain using images to create a perception of depth. Other creatures have it as well. Even with the cuttlefish's eyes not "yoked" which yoked means looking at the same thing at the same time. They were still able to hunt. The scientists do need more information about how the cuttlefish use cues and spacial information to capture their prey. This is why I believe that cuttlefish are very cool and fascinating. https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/cuttlefish-depth-perception-3d-glasses/


Boeing Stops the 737 Max Production

Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production for many reasons. Boeing made tens of thousands of parts to create a plane, which cost hundreds of millions they did not pay the money yet because the airplane did not come in yet. Boeing says that they are not reaching the limit of reducing the comings of 12000 strong workforces at the Renton factory. The Wall Street Journal told Boeing settled with Southwest Airlines alone to date for about $830 million. This is why Boeing is stopping the 737 Max production. https://www.popsci.com/story/aviation/boeing-737-max-halted/


The Tongue's Taste Bud's

Our tongue has many dots, which are papillae. The dots contain groups of taste buds. There ae three types of taste, sensing papillae, fungiform papillae, Foliate Papillae. Taste buds have a collection of 50 to 150 taste receptors and supporting cells for each of the tastebuds. This shows why the tongue is a very important part of the body. https://www.popsci.com/story/health/tastebuds-tongue-eating-flavor/

The Tongue's Taste Bud's***

    Good, to the point and clear. "Bud's" shouldn't be possessive though because in this headline the buds don't 'own' anything here. It should be just a regular plural.

The Tongue's Taste Buds

Our tongue has many dots, which are papillae.***

    This article, for the most part, is introducing new information to the reader. So, we should add "called" before "papillae" because then it sounds more like you understand that your reader probably doesn't know what a "papillae" is as well. 

Our tongue has many dots, which are called papillae.

The dots contain groups of taste buds.***

    To keep to the learning theme, let's use the new word "papillae" instead of "dots". This sentence is very short and sweet but, so is the previous sentence. To keep the reader interested I suggest adding some more descriptive language: 

Inside the papillae contains the taste buds.

There ae three types of taste, sensing papillae, fungiform papillae, Foliate Papillae.***

    Make sure to proofread to catch any typos. The last listed papilla does not need to be capitalized and it needs the word 'and' after the last comma. Read the article carefully. The different papillae aren't 'taste' but 'taste receptors'. The forth papilla is different because it doesn't pick up taste and instead acts as a touch receptor. You are missing a fact sentence so we will use this information to add another sentence.

There are three types of taste recepting papillae called, sensing papillae, fungiform papillae, and foliate papillae. A forth papilla, named filiform papillae, doesn't have any taste buds and instead contains small hairs so we can better feel the food on our tongue.

Taste buds have a collection of 50 to 150 taste receptors and supporting cells for each of the tastebuds.***

    Plagarized. Be careful! Although this isn't an exact sentence from the article, it uses much of the same vocabulary. Use your own words. Take a look at how I keep the same meaning but use different words:

Each taste bud has its own cells to help it as well as anywhere from 50 to 150 taste receptors.

This shows why the tongue is a very important part of the body.***

    To better align with the original article I suggest rewriting this sentence. We already know that our tongue is important but, what is the article trying to teach us? I wrote a sentence below that touches on the bigger picture: 

This information further proves that taste is complicated and varies for every person.

https://www.popsci.com/story/health/tastebuds-tongue-eating-flavor/***

    Missing 'source'. 

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/tastebuds-tongue-eating-flavor/

Edited Paragraph:

The Tongue's Taste Buds

Our tongue has many dots, which are called papillae. Inside the papillae contains the taste buds. There are three types of taste recepting papillae called, sensing papillae, fungiform papillae, and foliate papillae. A forth papilla, named filiform papillae, doesn't have any taste buds and instead contains small hairs so we can better feel the food on our tongue. Each taste bud has its own cells to help it as well as anywhere from 50 to 150 taste receptors. This information further proves that taste is complicated and varies for every person.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/tastebuds-tongue-eating-flavor/

Edited by Kira Carson







The Real Batmobile

This electric version of a pickup truck is very fascinating in many ways. Elon Musk said that at least 200,000 orders of the futuristic vehicle are in for, just three days after it was unveiled. For the car, at least 41% of the orders were for the triple motor all-wheel drive starts at 69,900 and the single motor real wheeled drive starts at 39,900. Pre-orders only cost $100 to secure, it's a lot cheaper today for someone to express interest in the cybertruck versus fully financing one. This is why electric pickup trucks are very fascinating in many ways. https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/23/cars/cybertruck-tesla-preorders/index.html

      • Before we begin there are a few overall things for your summary to note. Please take more time reading the article and making sure you stick to the format. Remember, Headline, topic sentence, 4 different fact sentences, then a concluding sentence (for a total of 6 sentences). Make the most of these sentences! They should accurately summarize the article using your own words. Watch your plagiarism. It takes more than just removing one word from a sentence to not be considered plagiarized. I hope you get some inspiration on how to properly summarize from my rewritten sentences. Before writing ask yourself: What are the main points of this article? What is the most important?


The Real Batmobile***

    I do like this headline however, the article focuses on things like its presales, the exterior, and the internet jokes so, I suggest something more like: 

Futuristic Truck Gets Impressive Presale Numbers

This electric version of a pickup truck is very fascinating in many ways.***

    True, but doesn't convey the true topic of the article. Take a look at the first paragraph. I suggest mentioning how the truck is causing commotion before being built or about how there are mixed responses from the internet. Note how my edited sentence below introduces the topic and uses new vocabulary to depict the same meaning from the article. I've also moved the mention of Elon Musk from your second sentence to this one instead of "This" because 'this' sounds too vague for a beginning sentence. 

Elon Musk's new electric version of a pickup truck is already gaining popularity and memes.

Elon Musk said that at least 200,000 orders of the futuristic vehicle are in for, just three days after it was unveiled.***

    This is completely plagiarized. This is almost an exact sentence from the article except for the word 'for'.  Please rewrite. Note how my sentence still stays true to the same meaning without being copied from the article.  

There have been 200,000 orders for the vehicle even though the production doesn't begin for at least another year.

For the car, at least 41% of the orders were for the triple motor all-wheel drive starts at 69,900 and the single motor real wheeled drive starts at 39,900.***

    Again, this is plagiarised and remember to read carefully. 41% of the orders are just for the expensive version not the $39,900 version. There should be '$' before the amount. This is the kind of fact sentence that is important so, note how I write it without copying from the original text:  

Surprisingly, 41% of these presales are for the most expensive version selling at $69,900.

Pre-orders only cost $100 to secure, it's a lot cheaper today for someone to express interest in the cybertruck versus fully financing one.***

    Plagiarized. Please don't copy and paste the sentences, that is not the assignment. Again, this fact is important so take a look at my unplagiarized version: 

The low cost to preorder being only $100 may be why there were so many, as this is more cost-effective than to finance the cybertruck.

    Below I have added an extra sentence. You are missing a fact sentence which should be used to either summarize how the internet is making fun of its appearance or about the truck's strength. Since I mentioned memes in the topic sentence we will go with that.

Despite its popularity, nothing is safe from the internet which has exploded in memes making fun of its boxy exterior.

This is why electric pickup trucks are very fascinating in many ways.***

     Like your topic sentence, this is true, but we need something that stays true to the article's conclusion. The article ends talking about the durability of the exterior. Since we haven't mentioned that yet, this would be a good time to include it while concluding the summary. Below I have ended with a quote from Musk, which you should not rely on but, can use as long as you quote it correctly.   

The humorous exterior is constructed of a steel alloy which according to Musk, makes it "literally bulletproof".

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/23/cars/cybertruck-tesla-preorders/index.html***

    Make sure to add 'Source:' in front of the website.

Source: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/23/cars/cybertruck-tesla-preorders/index.html

   Also, note that in your tutorial it asks that after your article, create space by hitting 'enter' 5 times, followed by '-----' and then 'enter' 5 more times. 

Edited Paragraph:

Futuristic Truck Gets Impressive Presale Numbers

Elon Musk's new electric version of a pickup truck is already gaining popularity and memes. There have been 200,000 orders for the vehicle even though the production doesn't begin for at least another year. Surprisingly, 41% of these presales are for the most expensive version selling at $69,900. The low cost to preorder being only $100 may be why there were so many, as this is more cost-effective than to finance the cybertruck. Despite its popularity, nothing is safe from the internet which has exploded in memes making fun of its boxy exterior. The humorous exterior is constructed of a steel alloy which according to Musk, makes it "literally bulletproof".
Source: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/23/cars/cybertruck-tesla-preorders/index.html

Edited by Kira Carson






Dangerous Fossil Fuels***
Fossil fuels are very interesting and dangerous in my way.***

   
-This is the topic sentence. It should lead the reader to know what this summary is going to be about. -The use of 'in my way' makes this sentence unclear. The word 'interesting' also doesn't accurately describe this article's topic. 'Dangerous' is accurate but is used in your heading so, let's leave it out as well. -A good topic sentence can be found from the article by paraphrasing the article's headline and subheading.;

Alarmingly, fossil fuel outputs are predicted to rise.

The global government are planning to produce/make 120 percent more fossil fuels by 2030.***

   
-'are' is referring to 'global government'. 'Are' is plural so to agree 'global government' should be 'global governments'. -'produce/make' is not necessary. Both words mean the same thing. Choose just 'produce'.; -This is almost and exact quote and could be considered plagiarism. Must rewrite. Try to summarize using your own words and sentence structure.;

By 2030, we can expect a rise in fossil fuels of about 120 percent.

With the odds of 2.7 degrees Farenheit (1.5 degrees Celsius) and the warming limit thay they all agreed to under the 2015 PAris Climate Agreement.***

    
-Again, could be considered plagiarism. Must summarize using your own words. -Proofread to find your spelling and typing errors. -Let's delete this sentence to keep to the 6 sentence structure.;
Many countries ae all trying to increase production of fossil fuels.***
   
-Typing error. -Omit "all". It's not needed for clarity.;

Many countries are trying to increase production of fossil fuels.

Carbon emissions from fossil fuelall totaled up to 27.1 billion tonne in2018.***

    
-Typing and spelling errors. ex, "fuelall totaled".;

Carbon emissions from fossil fuels totaled up to 27.1 billion tonnes in 2018.


The countries plans are to increase the production of coal,oil, and gas for the country up to 120 percent more in 2030.***

   
-Please omit, this has already been stated in your topic sentence.;

This is why fossil fuels are very in teresting and dangerous in many ways.***

   
-Watch for typing errors. -let's use a sentence instead with more detail. There should be something that explains why the rise is fossil fuels is dangerous. -please reread the original article;

This rise could negatively effect the climate, humans, and wildlife more than it already has.

Fossil fuels are very interesting and dangerous in many ways***

    
-please reread the original article -Although this matches your original topic sentence, it is too similar. Let's rewrite so it compliments the new topic sentence and let's use the original article. It should summarize the meaning of the original article. Please see the last paragraph in original article;

Stockholm Environment Institute’s Executive Director, Måns Nilsson, tells us that if our governments keep going the way they are, things will only get worse.

    
-Also, after every sentence there must be a period followed by one space to start a new sentence.

Complete paragraph:


Dangerous Fossil Fuels

Alarmingly, fossil fuel outputs are predicted to rise. By 2030, we can expect a rise in fossil fuels of about 120 percent. Many countries are trying to increase production of fossil fuels. Carbon emissions from fossil fuels totaled up to 27.1 billion tonnes in 2018. This rise could negatively effect the climate, humans, and wildlife more than it already has. Stockholm Environment Institute’s Executive Director, Måns Nilsson, tells us that if our governments keep going the way they are, things will only get worse.

//www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/11/world-fossil-fuel-production-rise-guarantees-missing-paris-climate-goals/

Edited by Kira Carson


Peace Maker

Mahatma Gandhi has helped so many people with his protesting for freedom and peace to end British rule over Indians.
-Split this sentence up because it was too long and confusing. I kept in Gandhi's protesting against British rule because that is the main focus of your paragraph; Mahatma Gandhi has helped so many people with his protesting to have freedom and peace in Natal,London for the Indians and to end the British rule over Indians.

Mohandas Gandhi was born in Gujarat, India in 1869 to a rich and powerful family.
-Fixed the spelling of "Mohandas."

He went to London to study law, but had to promise his mom to keep the strict Hindu morals.
-Combined the next two sentences; Then left home to study law in London. He went to London, but had to promise his mom to keep the strict Hindu Morals.

In 1893, at the age of 24 he went to the British colony Natal in southeastern Africa where many Indians lived.
-Added context about Natal; In 1893, at the age of 24 he went to Natal where many Indians lived.

He was thrown out of train cars, pushed on public walkways, and stripped of the ability to vote.
-Combined the next sentence with this one; He was thrown out of train cars, pushed on public walkways. Also was stripped of the ability to vote.

Gandhi was surprised and started an Indian resistance movement to protest against Britain, focusing on nonviolence.
-Added "movement." This makes it more clear that Gandhi's protest including a lot of other people.
-Combined this sentence with part of the next; So Gandhi was suprised and started a Indian resistance to protest against Britain.

The Indian people did everything to break away from Britain, including boycotting British shops and having a 241-mile-long march.
-Rephrased and re-structured this sentence to be more cohesive. It includes the highlights of the resistance movement, and also uses the people as the subject of the sentence (not just Gandhi)
-Combined a couple of sentences for cohesion; He thebn focused on no-violence/peace, but was soon sent to jail for protesting, but they did everything to break awway from Britain they boyctted the British shops and had more mass protests. Also he made a 241-mile-long march and for peace and freedom.

This shows that Gandhi had risked everything starting from his reputation to his life.
-Cut the last sentence because it is unnecessary; This shows that Gandhi had risked everything starting from his reputation to his life. He did all this stuff for peace and freedom from Britain.

Peace Maker (completely edited article)
Mahatma Gandhi has helped so many people with his protesting for freedom and peace to end British rule over Indians. Mohandas Gandhi was born in Gujarat, India in 1869 to a rich and powerful family. He went to London to study law, but had to promise his mom to keep the strict Hindu morals. In 1893, at the age of 24 he went to the British colony Natal in southeastern Africa where many Indians lived. He was thrown out of train cars, pushed on public walkways, and stripped of the ability to vote. Gandhi was surprised and started an Indian resistance movement to protest against Britain, focusing on nonviolence. The Indian people did everything to break away from Britain, including they boycotting British shops and having a 241-mile-long march. This shows that Gandhi had risked everything starting from his reputation to his life.

Peace Maker (unedited article)
Mahatma Gandhi has helped so many people with his protesting to have freedom and peace in Natal,London for the Indians and to end the British rule over Indians. Mahondas Gandhi was born in Gujarat,India in 1869 he was born in a rich and powerful family. Then left home to study law in London. He went to London, but had to promise his mom to keep the strict Hindu Morals. In 1893, at the age of 24 he went to Natal where many Indians lived. He was thrown out of train cars, pushed on public walkways. Also was stripped of the ability to vote. So Gandhi was suprised and started a Indian resistance to protest against Britain. He thebn focused on no-violence/peace, but was soon sent to jail for protesting, but they did everything to break awway from Britain they boyctted the British shops and had more mass protests. Also he made a 241-mile-long march and for peace and freedom. This shows that Gandhi had risked everything starting from his reputation to his life. He did all this stuff for peace and freedom from Britain.

Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/people/reference/mahatma-gandhi-changed-political-protest/


Editor, please send me an email at contact@goodtoknow.com - Doing a great job! -Steve.

Facebooks Portal VIdeo Chat

Everyday technology is advancing and we humans make something better each day.
-Split this sentence into two because it was a run-on sentence; Everyday technology is advancing and we humans make something better each day, but for facebook they made a new portal video chat, which is smaller and cheaper than other ones from other companies.

For Facebook, this new technology is a Portal video chat, which is smaller and cheaper than other ones from other companies.
-Rephrased the sentence to better connect your ideas. Now, the sentence connects Facebook's new Portal video devices with the technology you mention in the first sentence.
-Capitalized "Portal" because it is a pronoun; Everyday technology is advancing and we humans make something better each day, but for facebook they made a new portal video chat, which is smaller and cheaper than other ones from other companies.

Last year, the standard model was $199, while the luxurious portal was $349.
-Added "last year" to give the reader a sense of the price timeline of the Portals. The Portals aren't these prices anymore, but they were last year; The standard model is $199, while the luxurious portal is $349.

Now the official price is $279 for a 15.6 inch Portal, while the 10 inch Portal is $179—$20 cheaper.
-Rephrased the phrase about the price of the 10 in Portal. Putting $20 after makes it more clear that you are referring to it being $20 cheaper than the previous model; Now the official price is $279 for a 15.6 inch portal, while the 10 inch portal is $20-179.

The Portal Mini model has an 8 inch screen and is $129, while the portal TV is $149.
-Added "the Portal Mini model" to make it clear what device you are talking about.
-Rephrased the second half of the sentence to make it more clear. The price should come after Portal TV so the reader is clear about what you're referring to; Now the 8 inch screen is $129 and the $149 portal TV.

This shows how technology is advancing everyday.
-Replaced "increasing" with "advancing." "Advancing" is a better and more precise word to use here; So this shows how technology is incresing everyday.


Facebook's Portal Video Chat (completely edited article)
Everyday technology is advancing and we humans make something better each day. For Facebook, this new technology is a portal video chat, which is smaller and cheaper than other ones from other companies. Last year, the standard model was $199, while the luxurious portal was $349. Now the official price is $279 for a 15.6 inch Portal, while the 10 inch Portal is $179—$20 cheaper. The Portal Mini model has an 8 inch screen and is $129, while the Portal TV is $149. This shows how technology is advancing everyday.

Facebooks Portal VIdeo Chat (unedited article)
Everyday technology is advancing and we humans make something better each day, but for facebook they made a new portal video chat, which is smaller and cheaper than other ones from other companies. The standard model is $199, while the luxurious portal is $349. Now the official price is $279 for a 15.6 inch portal, while the 10 inch portal is $20-179. Now the 8 inch screen is $129 and the $149 portal TV.So this shows how technology is incresing everyday.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/facebook-portal-tv-video-chat/

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Cargo Drones

The APT 70 drone is a sophisticated drone that will help our military by delivering cargo to the U.S. Army.
-Added "APT 70" to provide context for the reader and to be more specific.
-Rephrased part of the sentence. Changed "giving cargo for" to "delivering cargo to." "Delivering" implies that the drone is bringing cargo from one place to another, which is what is happening here. Also capitalized "U.S. Army" because it is a proper noun; This drone is a very sophisticated drone and it will help our military by giving cargo for the U.S. army.

This drone will not be an average UPS worker; it will help the army by providing cargo like military gear, medical supplies, industrial components, and tools.
-Rephrased the sentence to make it more concise. Also added a semicolon to separate the two parts of the sentence.
-Changed "giving" to "providing." "Providing" is a more active verb and is more representative of what the drone's functions are; This drone will also not be an average UPS worker it will only help the army by giving cargo like military gear, medical supplies, industrial components, and tools.

The drone flies parallel to the ground while its four propellers pull it through the air supported by two wide surfaces as wings.
-Changed "when flying has its positions" to "flies." "Flies" is an active verb, and is much more concise to the previous passive form.
-Changed "the" to "while its." "While its" acts as transition words and makes your sentence more cohesive and easier to read.
-Changed "pull the drone to the air with" to "pull it through the air supported by." "Supported by" gives the reader a better understanding of how the drone actually functions, and makes the sentence feel less choppy; The drone when flying has its positions parallel to the ground the four propellers pull the drone to the air with two wide surfaces as wings.

The drone flies at a speed of 100 mph and does it by shifting its entire position in space.

The APT 70 is why we should have more drones all over the world to help all of us people.
-Changed "this" to "the APT 70" to be more specific; This is why we should have more drones all over the world to help all of us people.

Cargo Drones (completely edited article)
The APT 70 drone is a sophisticated drone that will help our military by delivering cargo to the U.S. Army. This drone will not be an average UPS worker; it will help the army by providing cargo like military gear, medical supplies, industrial components, and tools. The drone flies parallel to the ground while its four propellers pull it through the air supported by two wide surfaces as wings. The drone flies at a speed of 100 mph and does it by shifting its entire position in space. The APT 70 is why we should have more drones all over the world to help all of us people.

Cargo Drones (unedited article)
This drone is a very sophisticated drone and it will help our military by giving cargo for the U.S. army. This drone will also not be an average UPS worker it will only help the army by giving cargo like military gear, medical supplies, industrial components, and tools. The drone when flying has its positions parallel to the ground the four propellers pull the drone to the air with two wide surfaces as wings. The drone flies at a speed of 100 mph and does it by shifting its entire position in space. This is why we should have more drones all over the world to help all of us people.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/bell-drone-apt70-biplane-autonomous-flight/

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Lord Of The Rings TV Show

The new TV show based on The Lord Of the Rings will be an intriguing and exciting show to watch.
-Added "based on" to indicate to the readers that the show is a different story than the original Lord of the Rings series.
-Changed "very interesting and very fun" to "intriguing and exciting." "Very interesting and very fun" are generic and vague phrases. Replacing it with more descriptive words such as "intriguing and exciting" adds more depth to your sentence; The new TV show The Lord Of the Rings will be very interesting and a very fun TV show to watch.

The TV show will be available on Amazon Prime, will be 5 seasons, and is set to be released in 2021.
-Changed "available" to "happening." "Available" indicates that it will be open for streaming to audiences on this site.
-Added "Amazon Prime" for specificity.
-Changed "heard" to "set." "Set" is a more accurate way to describe the release date (which hasn't been confirmed yet); The TV show will be happening in Amazon and will be 5 seasons and is heard to be released in 2021.

The show will be about a story in Middle Earth that is 3,441 years before The Fellowship Of The Ring.
-Deleted "furthermore." You are starting to talk about a different point now, and aren't expanding on your previous sentence; Furthermore, the TV show will be about a story in Middle Earth that is 3,441 years before The Fellowship Of The Ring.

Although The Lord Of The Rings was set in The Third Age, the TV show will be based on The Second Age.

Meanwhile, Amazon invested an unbelievable amount of money for the TV show, amounting to around a billion or more.

The new Lord of the Rings show will be entertaining and compelling to watch.
-Deleted the "I" statement. This should be strictly a paraphrase of the news article, and should mimic a news article. Please don't include personal statements.
-Changed "interesting and fun" to "entertaining and compelling." "Entertaining and compelling" are more descriptive adjectives than "interesting and fun."
-Please don't address the reader/use second person; I believe that this is why the new TV show coming out will be interesting and fun to watch in various ways, so I hope you watch it and enjoy it.

Lord of the Rings TV Show (completely edited article)
The new TV show based on The Lord Of the Rings will be an intriguing and exciting show to watch. The TV show will be available on Amazon Prime, will be 5 seasons, and is set to be released in 2021. The show will be about a story in Middle Earth that is 3,441 years before The Fellowship Of The Ring. Although The Lord Of The RIngs was set in The Third Age, the TV show will be based on The Second Age. Meanwhile, Amazon invested an unbelievable amount of money for the TV show, amounting to around a billion or more. The new Lord of the Rings show will be entertaining and compelling to watch.

Lord of the Rings TV Show (unedited article)
The new TV show The Lord Of the Rings will be very interesting and a very fun TV show to watch. The TV show will be happening in Amazon and will be 5 seasons and is heard to be released in 2021. Furthermore, the TV show will be about a story in Middle Earth that is 3,441 years before The Fellowship Of The Ring. Although The Lord Of The RIngs was set in The Third Age, now the TV show will be based on The Second Age. Meanwhile, Amazon invested an unbelievable amount of money for the TV show, amounting to around a billion or more. I believe that this is why the new TV show coming out will be interesting and fun to watch in various ways, so I hope you watch it and enjoy it.

Source: https://www.cordcuttersnews.com/heres-what-we-know-about-amazons-new-lord-of-the-rings-series/ —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Basking Sharks

Basking Sharks can measure up to 30 feet and over 10,000 pounds and are even larger than other sharks.
-Rephrased "feared predators" to "other sharks" for clarity.
-Split this sentence into two to avoid confusion; Basking Sharks can measure up to 30 feet and over 10,000 pounds and are even larger than that of the feared predators, which are harmless to us humans.

They are also harmless to us humans.
-Split from the previous sentence; Basking Sharks can measure up to 30 feet and over 10,000 pounds and are even larger than that of the feared predators, which are harmless to us humans.

Basking Sharks are just like blue whales, who capture krill and plankton with their mouth wide open.
-Pluralized "Basking Sharks" because you are talking about the species as a whole.
-Deleted "such as the blue whale they" because it is a confusing phrase and can be condensed; The Basking Shark are just like whales, such as the blue whale they capture krill and plankton with their mouth wide open.

In California, Basking Sharks disappeared for decades because people captured and killed them for their fins, meat, liver, and oil.
-Rearranged the sentence to be less confusing and to avoid being a run on sentence. Also fixed a couple of typos; Basking Sharks dissaperes for decades because in California they has great numbers, but people captured and killed them for their fi,meat,liver,and its oil.

They were being killed because they interrupted salmon fishing operations.
-Truncated the sentence for cohesion and clarity.
-Rephrased "being known as" to "interrupted." The first phrase is a little confusing and doesn't reflect the source article's point about the salmon operations. I reworded to better reflect that
-Split the sentence into two to avoid a run on sentence. Try to not pack too much information into one sentence; The Basking Shark were being killed because they were being known as salmon fishing operations and they were then listed as vulnerable endangered species.

They were then listed as vulnerable endangered species.
-Split from the previous sentence; The Basking Shark were being killed because they were being known as salmon fishing operations and they were then listed as vulnerable endangered species.

These are some reasons we should help save Basking Sharks.
-Rephrased the sentence for conciseness. "These are some reasons" is just a more concise way of stating what you previously wrote.
-Deleted "this is why Basking Sharks are cool and interesting to me in many ways." This is a generic phrase that doesn't add anything to your sentence, and doesn't reflect the content of your article; This is why we should help save Basking Sharks and also this is why Basking Sharks are cool and interesting to me in many ways.

Basking Sharks (completely edited article)
Basking Sharks can measure up to 30 feet and over 10,000 pounds and are even larger than other sharks. They are also harmless to us humans. Basking Sharks are just like blue whales, who capture krill and plankton with their mouth wide open. In California, Basking Sharks disappeared for decades because people captured and killed them for their fins, meat, liver, and oil. They were being killed because they interrupted salmon fishing operations. They were then listed as vulnerable endangered species. These are some reasons we should help save Basking Sharks.

Basking Sharks (unedited article)
Basking Sharks can measure up to 30 feet and over 10,000 pounds and are even larger than that of the feared predators, which are harmless to us humans. The Basking Shark are just like whales, such as the blue whale they capture krill and plankton with their mouth wide open. Basking Sharks dissaperes for decades because in California they has great numbers, but people captured and killed them for their fi,meat,liver,and its oil. The Basking Shark were being killed because they were being known as salmon fishing operations and they were then listed as vulnerable endangered species. This is why we should help save Basking Sharks and also this is why Basking Sharks are cool and interesting to me in many ways.

Source: https://www.dogonews.com/2019/6/25/basking-sharks-return-to-california-waters-after-several-decades

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Albino Panda

Albino pandas are both fascinating and rare.
-Rephrased. "Very interesting and rare" is vague and there are better alternatives to "interesting." "Fascinating" is one that I put here. I also deleted "in many ways" because it doesn't add anything to the sentence; Albino pandas are very interesting and rare in many ways.

There are 2,000 giant pandas that are left in the wild and they are found wandering around different bamboo forests.
-Rephrased. The remaining pandas in the wild aren't all in the same bamboo forest, so I pluralized "bamboo forests." I also added "different"; There are 2,000 giant pandas that are left in the wild and they are found wandering around in the bamboo forest.

Wolong National Nature Reserve officials announced the discovery of a white panda bear on May 25, 2019.
-Added "Wolong National Nature Reserve" to provide more context for the reader.
-"Discovered" is misused here. The proper term for the present tense is "discovery."
-Rephrased "ghost-like" to "white." This is to avoid sounding too similar to the source article. I also split the sentence into two; Wolong officials announced the discovered of a ghost-like panda bear on May 25, 2019, they found it in China's first giant panda breeding and research center.

They found it in China's first giant panda breeding and research center.
-Split this sentence from the previous one. It can act as an independent clause, and it has a subject and a verb. When this happens, a sentence can be split (also in order to avoid a run on sentence); Wolong officials announced the discovered of a ghost-like panda bear on May 25, 2019, they found it in China's first giant panda breeding and research center.

Albino animals are very rare and all-white pandas are even more rare: albinism mutation can only be inherited if both parents carry the gene.
-Added a colon. This is to put emphasis on the following phrase, but also to improve the sentence's readability; Albino animals are very rare and all-white pandas are even more albinism mutation can only be inherited if both parents carry the gene.

Albino pandas are interesting and extraordinary in many ways.
-Rephrased "rare" to "extraordinary." "Extraordinary can act as a synonym for "rare", and in this context it works well. This is also to avoid writing the same sentence as the first one.
-Try to limit your use of "very." It is a filler word that often has better and more descriptive alternatives. Also deleted "this shows that" because it is not necessary; This shows that albino pandas are very interesting and rare in many ways.

Albino Panda (completely edited article)
Albino pandas are both fascinating and rare. There are 2,000 giant pandas that are left in the wild and they are found wandering around different bamboo forest. Wolong National Nature Reserve officials announced the discovery of a white panda bear on May 25, 2019. They found it in China's first giant panda breeding and research center. Albino animals are very rare and all-white pandas are even more rare: albinism mutation can only be inherited if both parents carry the gene. Albino pandas are interesting and extraordinary in many ways.

Albino Panda (unedited article)
Albino pandas are very interesting and rare in many ways. There are 2,000 giant pandas that are left in the wild and they are found wandering around in the bamboo forest. Wolong officials announced the discovered of a ghost-like panda bear on May 25, 2019, they found it in China's first giant panda breeding and research center. Albino animals are very rare and all-white pandas are even more albinism mutation can only be inherited if both parents carry the gene. This shows that albino pandas are very interesting and rare in many ways.

Source: https://www.dogonews.com/2019/5/30/all-white-giant-panda-caught-on-camera-for-the-first-time

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Trash Eating Sharks

Technology is advancing every day, being used to get rid of pollution each step of the way---starting with the trash eating shark.
-Deleted "we are helping the world..." It is a vague statement, and it is unclear who "we" is supposed to be.
-Added an em dash to emphasize the subject of the article (the trash eating sharks); Technology is advancing every day and we are helping the world by getting rid of pollution each step of the way starting with the trash eating shark.

The shark's mouth takes in garbage or waste from up to a foot below the surface of the water.
-Deleted "between two parallel hulls." It is a bit confusing in the context of this sentence, and is not necessary information to understand the sentence; The shark's mouth is found between two parallel hulls it takes in garbage or waste from up to a foot below the surface of the water.

It can work up to eight hours on one charge and collect up to 1,120 pounds of waste.

'The sharks are equipped with sensors to collect data such as "pH levels, salinity, and temperature".
-Please do not directly quote from the source article. You are meant to paraphrase, which means that you communicate the basic tone and meaning of the article, but you use your own words. Please fix this sentence by paraphrasing.

"The portable device emits no carbon, produces no noise or light pollution, and causes no harm to marine life".
-Read what I wrote above. Please fix this sentence by paraphrasing.

As technology advances, it can be used to help the world out even more than it currently is.
-Rephrased "we can sooner or later" to "it can be used to." The subject of the sentence is really "technology", so I rephrased to keep the focus on that. Again, "we" is vague and is not the real subject of this sentence; As technology advances, we can sooner or later help the world out even more than it is.

Trash Eating Sharks (completely edited article)
Technology is advancing every day, being used to get rid of pollution each step of the way---starting with the trash eating shark. The shark's mouth takes in garbage or waste from up to a foot below the surface of the water. It can work up to eight hours on one charge and collect up to 1,120 pounds of waste. The sharks are equipped with sensors to collect data such as "pH levels, salinity, and temperature". As technology advances, it can be used to help the world out even more than it currently is.

Trash Eating Sharks (unedited article)
Technology is advancing every day and we are helping the world by getting rid of pollution each step of the way starting with the trash eating shark. The shark's mouth is found between two parallel hulls it takes in garbage or waste from up to a foot below the surface of the water. It can work up to eight hours on one charge and collect up to 1,120 pounds of waste. The sharks are equipped with sensors to collect data such as "pH levels, salinity, and temperature". " The portable device emits no carbon, produces no noise or light pollution, and causes no harm to marine life". As technology advances, we can sooner or later help the world out even more than it is.

Source: https://www.dogonews.com/2019/4/8/trash-eating-sharks-are-taking-over-harbors-worldwide —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Encountering Bison

Bison are dangerous and fascinating animals.
-Rephrased this sentence. "Important and interesting" are both vague terms that don't really tell the reader much about your subject. "Fascinating" isa synonym for interesting that is more descriptive and less vague. Try to also avoid the term "very." It doesn't add to your sentence, and in most cases can be replaced by a more descriptive adjective (example: very important--->essential); Bison are very dangerous, but are important and interesting in many ways.

Bison/Buffalo are all over the U.S., but the largest populations of bison are found in Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado, while some roam up to Kentucky.
-Made "population" plural because the Bison are spread out across several different states.
-"While" is a useful term to use when you are describing something that is different than something else. So, most Bison go to Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado but a smaller population goes to Kentucky; Bison/Buffalo are all over the U.S., but the largest population of bison are found in Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado, and some roam up to Kentucky.

They are the size of a car and live with many other bison.
-Changed the subject of the sentence to "they." This is to avoid using "bison" twice in the same sentence; Bison are the size of a car and bison live with many other bison.

In 2018, there were more than 4.1 million bison in Yellowstone.
-Added "In 2018." This contextualizes the rest of the sentence for the reader.
-Changed some of the phrasing. This is so the sentence ends with a preposition ("in"), which helps describe where something happened. In this case, it happened in Yellowstone; In Yellow stone more than 4.1 million bison came.

Bison normally injure more people than other animals within the park.
-Changed "within 3,500 square mile area" to "within the park." It is not clear from the original sentence that you are referring to Yellowstone. I simplified it a little bit to make this more clear; Bison normally injure more people than animals within 3,500 square mile area.

They weigh 2,000 pounds and can run up to 35 mph, and can jump over objects up to 5 feet tall.

These are some reasons why bison are both dangerous and interesting.
-Rephrased the sentence. Try to avoid repeating sentences too closely. The phrase "these are some reasons why" is another good way to summarize and wrap up your paragraph. I also combined your two adjectives ("dangerous" and "interesting") to make the sentence more concise and less vague; This is why bison are very dangerous, but are important and interesting in many ways.

Encountering Bison (completely edited article)
Bison are dangerous and fascinating animals. Bison/Buffalo are all over the U.S., but the largest populations of bison are found in Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado, while some roam up to Kentucky. They are the size of a car and live with many other bison. In 2018, there were more than 4.1 million bison in Yellowstone. Bison normally injure more people than other animals within the park. They weigh 2,000 pounds and can run up to 35 mph, and can jump over objects up to 5 feet tall. These are some reasons why bison are both dangerous and interesting.

Encountering Bison (unedited article)
Bison are very dangerous, but are important and interesting in many ways. Bison/Buffalo are all over the U.S. , but the largest population of bison are found in Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado , and some roam up to Kentucky. Bison are the size of a car and bison live with many other bison. In Yellow stone more than 4.1 million bison came. Bison normally injure more people than animals within 3,500 square mile area. They weigh 2,000 pounds and can run up to 35 mph, and can jump over objects up to 5 feet tall. This is why bison are very dangerous, but are important and interesting in many ways.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/bison-encounter-buffalo/ —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Fish Walking On Land
-Placed the subject ("fish") first, followed by a verb ("walking"); Walking Fish On Land.

Snakeheads/Frankenfish are interesting and dangerous in several different ways.
-"Several" is a more descriptive word to use than "many." I also deleted "very" because does not enhance the sentence or add detail; Snakeheads/Frankenfish are very interesting and dangerous in many ways.

Snakeheads were first discovered in a pond in Maryland in 2002.

-I made this its own sentence in order to avoid a run on sentence.

Snakeheads established themselves in the Potomac River, with about 21,000 individuals over 120 river miles.
-The phrase "estimated from" is a little confusing, so I replaced it with "with."
-"Over" is a good way to describe the distance that "120 river miles" represents, which emphasizes just how widespread the snakeheads are; Snakeheads were first discovered in a pond in Maryland in 2002 snakeheads established themselves in the Potomac River estimated from 21,000 individuals going from 120 river miles.

At 18 pounds and three feet, the "frankenfish" have kept spreading and can now be found above Great Falls in the C&O.
-"At" is a more concise and little less confusing way of describing the size and weight of the fish.
-Put "frankenfish" in quotes because it is a nickname and an informal term.
-Changed "keep" to "have kept." "Have kept" describes that the spread of the snakeheads was an event that has largely already occurred, but it still has a present day impact; It can group up to 18 pounds and three feet the frankenfish keep spreading and now found above Great Falls in the C&O.

The species were imported legally from Asia to the aquarium and seafood trades until 2004.
-I split this sentence from the next one because it was a run on sentence.

The "frankenfish" have an organ that allows them to get oxygen out of the air, allowing them to stay alive for many days out of the water.
-I split the first half of this sentence off from the previous one and combined it with part of the next sentence. This construction better links and organizes your thoughts, so the reader is better able to follow the flow of the paragraph.
-Deleted "only if they are cool and moist" for conciseness; Frankenfish can stay alive for many days out of the water only if they are cool and moist since they could travel short distances on land, which they were then called by some (walking fish).

They can also travel short distances on land, called "walking fish" by some.
-Because I broke up the previous sentence, this one needed to have a transition phrase. "They can also" is a way to link your previous sentence with your next one.
-Added quotations around "walking fish" because it is an informal name. Also removed some words for conciseness and moved the "walking fish" to be more integrated within the sentence; Frankenfish can stay alive for many days out of the water only if they are cool and moist since they could travel short distances on land, which they were then called by some (walking fish).

This is why Snakeheads/"Frankenfish" are both interesting and dangerous.
-Deleted "in many ways" because it is repetitive and doesn't add to your sentence; This explains why Snakeheads/Frankenfish are interesting and dangerous in many ways.

Fish Walking On Land (completely edited article)
Snakeheads/Frankenfish are interesting and dangerous in several different ways. Snakeheads were first discovered in a pond in Maryland in 2002. Snakeheads established themselves in the Potomac River, with about 21,000 individuals over 120 river miles. At 18 pounds and three feet, the "frankenfish" have kept spreading and can now be found above Great Falls in the C&O. The species were imported legally from Asia to the aquarium and seafood trades until 2004. The "frankenfish" have an organ that allows them to get oxygen out of the air, letting them to stay alive for many days out of the water. They can also travel short distances on land, which they were then called "walking fish" by some. This is why Snakeheads/"Frankenfish" are both interesting and dangerous.

Walking Fish On Land (unedited article)
Snakeheads/Frankenfish are very interesting and dangerous in many ways. Snakeheads were first discovered in a pond in Maryland in 2002 snakeheads established themselves in the Potomac River estimated from 21,000 individuals going from 120 river miles. It can group up to 18 pounds and three feet the frankenfish keep spreading and now found above Great Falls in the C&O. The species were imported legally from Asia to the aquarium and seafood trades until 2004, the frankenfish have an organ that allows them to get oxygen out of the air. Frankenfish can stay alive for many days out of the water only if they are cool and moist since they could travel short distances on land, which they were then called by some (walking fish). This explains why Snakeheads/Frankenfish are interesting and dangerous in many ways.

Source: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/03/160317-snakeheads-potomac-river-chesapeake-bay-invasive-species-fish/ —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Planting Trees

Planting trees are very important in many ways to save and help the world.

The International Panel on Climate Change said that at least 1 billion hectares of trees must be planted to help stop the planet from warming up to 1.5-Celsius degrees.
-Combined these two sentence to form a complete thought. I also rearranged some of the first sentence to help make it flow better; The International Panel on Climate Change said that we need to plant at least 1 billion hectares.

Many programs were created to help countries plant forests.
-"Got brought up" is a confusing phrase to use here. I put in an active verb to better illustrate how these programs were made and implemented by different groups.
-The purpose of the programs are to give countries the funds to plant trees and build forests. I changed some of the wording here to reflect that; Many programs got brought up to make countries to help forests.

For example, China has restored 108,000 square miles of forests.
-I moved this sentence to earlier in your paragraph. It is a good way to build upon your previous sentence and use it as an example. It felt a little disjointed before.

Under the Bonn Challenge, 10 percent of countries have planned to plant more trees, but 43 percent aren't pulling their weight.
-Added Bonn Challenge to specify what exactly you are referring to. This clarifies that you are talking about a specific program.
-Added "but" to emphasize the contrast between the countries who are participating and the countries who aren't; 10 percent of countries have p[lanned to plant more trees, and 43 percent aren't pulling their weight.

Because of this, 3.5 hectares of trees by 2030 are at risk of not being planted.
-Added a transition phrase here. Try and incorporate transition words and phrases that can help link your ideas and make them more cohesive. By adding "because of this", it sets up the sentence as a direct result of what you wrote about in the previous one
-Added "of not being planted" to provide more context (what are they at risk for?). It is important to make your ideas as fleshed out as possible to give the reader a clear picture of what you mean to write about; 3.5 hectares of trees by 2030 at risk.

-Deleted the sentence "45 percent of commitments are under the Bonn Challenge." It did not provide any important information that wasn't already in other sentences.

This is why planting trees are very important in helping to save the world and humanity.
-Deleted "many ways" to avoid too closely repeating your topic sentence.
-Changed "help" to a verb and placed it earlier in the sentence. This avoids repeating "help" twice in the same sentence; This is why planting trees are very important in many ways to save and help the world and also help humanity.

Planting Trees (completely edited article)
Planting trees are very important in many ways to save and help the world. The International Panel on Climate Change said that 1 billion hectares of trees must be planted to help stop the planet from warming up to 1.5-Celsius degrees. Many programs were created to help countries plant forests. For example, China has restored 108,000 square miles of forests. Under the Bonn Challenge, 10 percent of countries have planned to plant more trees, but 43 percent aren't pulling their weight. Because of this, 3.5 hectares of trees by 2030 at risk. This is why planting trees are very important in helping to save the world and humanity.

Planting Trees (unedited article)
Planting trees are very important in many ways to save and help the world. The International Panel on Climate Change said that we need to plant at least 1 billion hectares. Stopping the planet from warming up to 1.5-Celsius degrees. Many programs got brought up to make countries to help forests. 10 percent of countries have p[lanned to plant more trees, and 43 percent aren't pulling their weight. 3.5 hectares of trees by 2030 at risk. China restored 108,000 square miles of forests. 45 percent of commitments are under the Bonn Challenge. This is why planting trees are very important in many ways to save and help the world and also help humanity.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/planting-trees-save-planet/ —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Uranium

Uranium can be very interesting, but dangerous in many ways.

A German chemist identified uranium in 1789, called atomic number 92.
-Added "a" to specify that it was a particular German chemist.
-"In" can be used here because you are referring to something happening in a specific year.
-Split this sentence into two; German chemist identified uranium at 1789, an atomic number92 it is a very troubling substance on the planet.

It is a very troubling substance and is naturally radioactive.
-Deleted "on the planet" because it is not necessary to state.
-Combined the next sentence with this one to improve cohesion; German chemist identified uranium at 1789, an atomic number92 it is a very troubling substance on the planet. It's naturally radioactive.

In 1938, Nazi nuclear chemists did what seemed to be impossible and split a uranium nucleus into two.
-Made "Nazi nuclear chemist" plural because it was multiple chemists who did this.
-Deleted "they" because it is already clear that the subject of your sentence is plural and they are the ones performing the action; In 1938 a Nazi nuclear chemist in 1938 and did what was seemed to be impossible and they split uranium nucleus into two.

Then American physicists discovered they could make uranium-238 decay to plutonium-239 to build weapons and power plants.
-Changed "forced" to "make" to avoid sounding too similar to the source. I deleted "to" because of this change.
-Made "American physicist" plural. Because you use the plural "they", your subject pronoun should agree.
-Changed "into" to "to build." "Into" is a little confusing here, and does not make it clear that plutonium is what is used to make weapons and build power plants. I changed it to an active verb that describes the uses of plutonium; Then an American physicist discovered they could force uranium-238 to decay to plutonium-239 into weapons and power plants.

This is why uranium is a very interesting substance, but dangerous.
-Removed "in many ways" and "very" to avoid repetition (same sentence as your topic sentence); This is why uranium is a very interesting substance, but dangerous in many ways.

Uranium (completely edited article) Uranium can be very interesting, but dangerous in many ways. A German chemist identified uranium in 1789, called atomic number 92. It is a very troubling substance and is naturally radioactive. In 1938, Nazi nuclear chemists did what seemed to be impossible and split a uranium nucleus into two. Then American physicists discovered they could make uranium-238 decay to plutonium-239 to build weapons and power plants. This is why uranium is an interesting substance, but dangerous.

Uranium (unedited article) Uranium can be very interesting, but dangerous in many ways. German chemist identified uranium at 1789, an atomic number92 it is a very troubling substance on the planet. It's naturally radioactive. In 1938 a Nazi nuclear chemist in 1938 and did what was seemed to be impossible and they split uranium nucleus into two. Then an American physicist discovered they could force uranium-238 to decay to plutonium-239 into weapons and power plants. This is why uranium is a very interesting substance, but dangerous in many ways.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/uranium-nuclear-energy-weapons/ —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Arctic Foxes Using Warp Speed
-Deleted the period and capitalized all of the words, like a news article; Arctic Foxes using warp speed.

An Arctic fox went on a long journey from Norway to Canada, going 30 miles a day.
-"An" is a better word to use here because you are writing about one specific fox, not just Arctic foxes in general
-Split up the sentence into two; The Arctic fox went on a long journey from Norway to Canada going 30 miles a day, so the Arctic foxes got through 2,176 miles in 76 days.

It got through 2,176 miles in 76 days.
-Made this a separate sentence and changed the subject to the generic "it" to avoid repeating "Arctic fox"; The Arctic fox went on a long journey from Norway to Canada going 30 miles a day, so the Arctic foxes got through 2,176 miles in 76 days.

One female Arctic fox had been tracked, and in twenty-two days she got to Greenland in about 940 miles from her original point.
-Good sentence! I adjusted the wording of "starting point" so it didn't reflect the source too much; One female Arctic fox had been tracked, and in twenty-two days she got to Greenland in about 940 miles starting point.

She was then found 76 days later in Canada.
-Deleted "Norway" because Canada was her final destination. Norway was her starting point, but in this sentence you're describing where they eventually found her; She was then found 76 days later from Norway to Canada.

Arctic foxes have muzzles, ears, and legs, as well as thick, deep fur lets them walk on snow and ice.
-"Have" is a great way to signify possession. In this case, the Arctic fox has these physical attributes that make them better adapted to traveling on snow and ice.
-Replaced "as well as" with "with their." "As well as" is a good phrase to use when trying to list multiple things, like here in this sentence; The Arctic foxes and their muzzles, ears, and legs, with their thick, deep fur it lets them walk on snow and ice.

Arctic foxes are very fascinating in many ways to people and scientists.
-Deleted "the" to make the subject of the sentence more general (because you are talking about Arctic foxes as a species).

Arctic Foxes Using Warp Speed (completely edited article)
An Arctic fox went on a long journey from Norway to Canada, going 30 miles a day. It got through 2,176 miles in 76 days. One female Arctic fox had been tracked, and in twenty-two days she got to Greenland in about 940 miles from her original point. She was then found 76 days later in Canada. Arctic foxes have muzzles, ears, and legs, as well as thick, deep fur lets them walk on snow and ice. Arctic foxes are very fascinating in many ways to people and scientists.

Arctic Foxes using warp speed. (unedited article)
The Arctic fox went on a long journey from Norway to Canada going 30 miles a day, so the Arctic foxes got through 2,176 miles in 76 days. One female Arctic fox had been tracked, and in twenty-two days she got to Greenland in about 940 miles starting point. She was then found 76 days later from Norway to Canada. The Arctic foxes and their muzzles, ears, and legs, with their thick, deep fur it lets them walk on snow and ice. The Arctic foxes are very fascinating in many ways to people and scientists.

Source: https://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/ny-arctic-fox-norway-inuit-canada-epic-trek-20190702-mxur6otdxjep5pvavclyvppf3i-story.html

Chsz, Do this article: https://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/ny-arctic-fox-Norway-Inuit-Canada-epic-trek-20190702-mxur6otdxjep5pvavclyvppf3i-story.html —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Child Labor for Chocolate

There are many hardships for the kids that are being forced to work for the chocolate industry.
-Changed "chocolate and for many other things" because the focus of your paragraph is only on chocolate; There are many hardships for the kids that are being forced to work for chocolate and for many other things.

In Ghana and Cote d'Ivoire, there are 2 million kids doing dangerous work for chocolate companies.
-Changed "or in" to "and." This labor is occurring in both countries, not just one or the other.
-I split up this sentence because it was a run on sentence and became a little difficult to follow.
-Changed "industry's" to "companies" to avoid repetition; In Ghana or in Cote d'Ivoire there are 2 million kids doing dangerous work for chocolate industry's in Ghana there are 92 % of kids doing dangerous work such as for an example spraying chemicals and igniting fires to burn fields.

In Ghana, 92 % of kids do dangerous work such as spraying chemicals and igniting fires to burn fields.
-Deleted "there are."
-Changed "doing" to "do." Because I split up the sentences, "do" is the more appropriate verb.
-Deleted for an example. "Such as" is good enough for introducing your next phrase; In Ghana or in Cote d'Ivoire there are 2 million kids doing dangerous work for chocolate industry's in Ghana there are 92 % of kids doing dangerous work such as for an example spraying chemicals and igniting fires to burn fields.

A study found that if the price of cocoa increased by 2.8 percent farmers could get adult laborers instead of little children.
-Changed some of the wording of this sentence because it didn't exactly reflect the content of the original article. The price hasn't actually been raised---that statistic was based on a study that looked at the hypothetical effects of that price change. So I added some context about the study; The people increased the price of cocoa by 2.8 percent so that the farmers could get adult laborers instead of little children; The people increased the price of cocoa by 2.8 percent so that the farmers could get adult laborers instead of little children.

The reason children have to do this labor is because of poverty and need.
-Changed "are in labor" to "have to do this labor." When "labor" is used to mean "work", it becomes a verb. So, someone performs labor or does labor. I changed the wording of this phrase to reflect that.
-Changed depression to need. I think you meant to paraphrase "desperation", the original word used in the article. I thought "need" was a good synonym for "desperation" in this context, and captures what you're trying to say; The reason children are in labor is because of poverty and depression.

This is why we should help the kids from having to perform labor.
-Deleted "and adults too" because the focus of your summary is on children; This is why we should help the kids from labor and adults too.

Child Labor for Chocolate (completely edited article)
There are many hardships for the kids that are being forced to work for the chocolate industry. In Ghana and Cote d'Ivoire, there are 2 million kids doing dangerous work for chocolate companies. In Ghana, 92 % of kids do dangerous work such as spraying chemicals and igniting fires to burn fields. A study found that if the price of cocoa increased by 2.8 percent farmers could get adult laborers instead of little children. The reason children have to do this labor is because of poverty and need. This is why we should help the kids from having to perform labor.

Child Labor for Chocolate (unedited article)
There are many hardships for the kids that are being forced to work for chocolate and for many other things. In Ghana or in Cote d'Ivoire there are 2 million kids doing dangerous work for chocolate industry's in Ghana there are 92 % of kids doing dangerous work such as for an example spraying chemicals and igniting fires to burn fields. The people increased the price of cocoa by 2.8 percent so that the farmers could get adult laborers instead of little children. The reason children are in labor is because of poverty and depression. This is why we should help the kids from labor and adults too.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/child-labor-chocolate-cocoa —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Zooming Away

Car engineers are trying to make better and faster cars.
-Changed "the" to "car" to be more specific about who these engineers are.
-Deleted "or the people." It's a confusing phrase, and is very vague.
-Deleted "much more." These words are filler, and aren't needed here; The engineers or the people are trying to make much more better and faster cars.

One company making faster cars for people to enjoy is Ferrari.
-Changed the structure of this sentence because the previous wording was somewhat confusing. I wanted to make the focus of the sentence be on the company Ferrari, so I started it off referencing a car company. The sentence also introduces Ferrari as the topic of your paragraph. I tried to keep in a phrase about customers; Much faster cars for people who own Ferrari's and for them to enjoy them too.

Ferrari is trying to improve on the problems with their 488 GTB model.
-Changed "show the difficult problems" to "improve on the problems." The second phrase is more active and direct.
-I only removed the phrase "Pista, a track centric version of the company's..." because I couldn't find any reference to it in the source material. Please try to stick paraphrasing your source; Ferrari is trying to show the difficult problems with the Pista, a track centric version of the company's 488 GTB.

The company's 10,000 two-day program is made for Ferrari owners enjoy their cars.
-This sentence is fine but I couldn't find anything resembling it in the source. Please try to only use things from your source. I would rewrite and paraphrase something from the article.

The drivers may choose between the 488 GTB or the 812 Superfast.
-Changed "divers" to "drivers"---typo.
-Changed "the" to "between." Since you're describing a choice between two things, "between" is a great word to use here. However, I did not find anything in your source that really reflected the content of this sentence. 488 GTB is mentioned, but only in reference to its interior design. Again, please try to only paraphrase your source and rewrite this sentence; The divers may choose the 488 GTB or the 812 Superfast.

Overall, the 488 GTB is more appropriate for the track.
-Deleted "is from a foundation of the 488 GTB." The wording was a bit confusing, and the information could be condensed into one sentence. Again, this information is not reflected in the source material. Please rewrite; Although the Pista is more appropriate for the track. Is from a foundation of the 488 GTB.

In the future, Ferrari will surely make many more improved and faster cars.
-Changed the subject of the sentence from "we" to "Ferrari", since that is the focus of your paragraph.
-Added "In the future" to introduce the rest of your sentence.
-I condensed some of the phrases of the sentence so they are a bit easier to follow.
-Deleted "we should keep on making more things." It doesn't add any information to the sentence, and uses a vague "we" pronoun; We will make many more better cars and improve to make even faster cars we should keep on making more things.

Zooming Away (completely edited article)
Car engineers are trying to make better and faster cars. One company making faster cars for people to enjoy is Ferrari. Ferrari is trying to improve on the problems with their 488 GTB model. The company's 10,000 two-day program is made for Ferrari owners enjoy their cars. The drivers may choose between the 488 GTB or the 812 Superfast. Overall, the 488 GTB is more appropriate for the track. In the future, Ferrari will make many more better and faster cars.

Zooming Away (unedited article)
The engineers or the people are trying to make much more better and faster cars. Much faster cars for people who own Ferrari's and for them to enjoy them too. Ferrari is trying to show the difficult problems with the Pista, a track centric version of the company's 488 GTB. The company's 10,000 two-day program is made for Ferrari owners enjoy their cars. The divers may choose the 488 GTB or the 812 Superfast. Although the Pista is more appropriate for the track. Is from a foundation of the 488 GTB. We will make many more better cars and improve to make even faster cars we should keep on making more things.

Source: https://www.theverge.com/2017/3/7/14841400/ferrari-812-superfast-photos-price-speed-geneva-motor-show-2017 —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Notre Dame Lost for Now

The most beautiful and delicate building burned down on a Monday evening it was said that about 400 firefighters were needed for the fire with it burning down it bruised the Parisians and led them week after weeks of violent protesting. The historic landmark Notre Dame its cathedral was visited almost 30,000 times a day and about 13 million people a year. Broken gargoyles and fallen balustrades had been replaced by plastic pipes and wooden planks. Flying buttresses had been darkened by pollution and eroded by rainwater. A foundation based in the United States estimated that the structure needed nearly $40 million for urgent repairs. The French state, which owns the cathedral, already devotes up to 2 million euros a year in upkeep, or about $2.4 million. This is why the world is getting more worse and worse every day starting with the burning of Notre Dame.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/15/world/europe/notre-dame-fire.html


‘’’Chris, your headline is creative, but “hunchback” is not very relevant here. I suggest something like, ”France Weeps Over Burning of Notre-Dame Cathedral”’’’
‘’’Remember to avoid run-on sentences. If a sentence is too long, you can separate it with either a period or a semicolon. I added “One of” at the beginning because you were stating an opinion by writing “the most beautiful and delicate”. I also placed a period after “evening” and switched “delicate” for “treasured”. I also changed “burned down” to “damaged by a fire” since it did not, in fact, burn down. Additionally, I removed the bit about protesting, because the article stated that the protesting had occurred prior to the fire. Remember to carefully read the original article and fact-check. The article said that about 500 firefighters were needed, not 400; One of the most beautiful and treasured buildings in France, the Notre-Dame cathedral, was damaged by a fire on a Monday evening. About 500 firefighters were needed to control, and eventually put out the fire.’’’
‘’’I removed “its” because it was unnecessary. I also placed “Notre-Dame” at the beginning of the sentence. I don’t know where you got the “30,000 times a day” fact because I was unable to find it in the original article, so I omitted it; The Notre-Dame cathedral is a historic landmark which is visited by 13 million people each year.’’’
‘’’Chris, you absolutely CANNOT continue plagiarizing; you need to come up you’re your own original ideas. Plagiarism is a form of theft, because you are taking someone else’s words and claiming them as your own. The cause of the fire has not yet been determined; however, it is known that the fired began in the interior network of wooden beams.’’’
‘’’Chris, you absolutely CANNOT continue plagiarizing; you need to come up you’re your own original ideas. Plagiarism is a form of theft, because you are taking someone else’s words and claiming them as your own. According to officials, the fire broke out at approximately 6:30 p.m. and blazed on for almost four hours, until around 11 p.m.’’’
‘’’Chris, you absolutely CANNOT continue plagiarizing; you need to come up you’re your own original ideas. Plagiarism is a form of theft, because you are taking someone else’s words and claiming them as your own. There were no fatalities, though a firefighter was seriously injured.’’’
‘’’Chris, you absolutely CANNOT continue plagiarizing; you need to come up you’re your own original ideas. Plagiarism is a form of theft, because you are taking someone else’s words and claiming them as your own. Before the fire occurred, it had already been estimated that the cathedral needed nearly $40 million for urgent repairs.’’’
‘’’Remember to avoid opinions; With the fire occurring at the very beginning of Holy Week, France’s Catholics, who make up two-thirds of the country’s population, will have to find another place to spend Easter.’’’


Hunchback of Notre Dame

The most beautiful and delicate building burned down on a Monday evening it was said that about 400 firefighters were needed for the fire with it burning down it bruised the Parisians and led them week after weeks of violent protesting. The historic landmark Notre Dame its cathedral was visited almost 30,000 times a day and about 13 million people a year. Broken gargoyles and fallen balustrades had been replaced by plastic pipes and wooden planks. Flying buttresses had been darkened by pollution and eroded by rainwater. A foundation based in the United States estimated that the structure needed nearly $40 million for urgent repairs. The French state, which owns the cathedral, already devotes up to 2 million euros a year in upkeep, or about $2.4 million. This is why the world is getting more worse and worse every day starting with the burning of Notre Dame. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/15/world/europe/notre-dame-fire.html


‘’’France Weeps Over Burning of Notre-Dame Cathedral

One of the most beautiful and treasured buildings in France, the Notre-Dame cathedral, was damaged by a fire on a Monday evening. About 500 firefighters were needed to control, and eventually put out the fire. The Notre-Dame cathedral is a historic landmark which is visited by 13 million people each year. The cause of the fire has not yet been determined; however, it is known that the fired began in the interior network of wooden beams. According to officials, the fire broke out at approximately 6:30 p.m. and blazed on for almost four hours, until around 11 p.m. There were no fatalities, though a firefighter was seriously injured. Before the fire occurred, it had already been estimated that the cathedral needed nearly $40 million for urgent repairs. With the fire occurring at the very beginning of Holy Week, France’s Catholics, who make up two-thirds of the country’s population, will have to find another place to spend Easter.’’’ Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/15/world/europe/notre-dame-fire.html


Don't let the article suck you in.

The Black Hole is a very weird celestial it is so powerful that light can't even escape it. All of that is supposed to change in less than 24 hours, thanks to the Event Horizon Telescope (EHT)—an eight-telescope project turned on in April 2017. Its mission: was to go into space and take the first ever picture of the black hole. The massive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The project has imaged the black hole’s event horizon, the “point of no return” boundary beyond which nothing and no one can escape the object’s enormous gravitational force. The observatories involved weren’t tasked with taking a convent photo of which has the mass of 4 million suns. Instead, they were operated to observe radiation produced by the event horizon’s bright ring of material, which could help illustrate the silhouette of the massive black hole itself. This is a pretty tall order when we’re talking about an object that’s more than 25,000 light-years in the distance, but EHT has a resolution that can, as MIT puts it, “count the stitches on a baseball 8,000 miles away.” Combined, the eight telescopes boast an optical power 1,000-times that of the Hubble Space Telescope. If our technology keeps developing we could years later go live in Mars, Mercury, Saturn, and etc. This is why we should keep advancing our technology every day. https://www.popsci.com/event-horizon-telescope-black-hole-watch


‘’’Very creative headline! Remember to capitalize vital words: Don't Let This Article Suck You In’’’
‘’’Make sure to avoid run-on sentences. Remember to read the original article carefully and make sure you understand everything, before creating your own sentences. To avoid a run-on, I added a semicolon. I also removed “weird” and changed “The” to “A” as well as “so powerful” to “powerful enough”; A Black Hole is a very celestial occurrence; it is powerful enough that even light can't escape it.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to add context. What is supposed to change? Also, be very careful to avoid plagiarism; you can’t copy exactly what is written in the original article. You need to use your own words. I deleted “in less than 24 hours” because that is no longer true, since days have passed since the article was written. Not much is known about black holes. However, all of that is supposed to change, thanks to the Event Horizon Telescope (EHT). This is an eight-telescope project turned that began in April 2017.’’’
‘’’Again, make sure to use your own words. I changed “Its” to “EHT” and moved “mission” to the beginning of the sentence. I also changed “the black hole” to “a black hole”; The mission of the EHT was to go into space and take the first ever picture of a black hole’’’
‘’’Good job on this sentence, but make sure to check for errors; you forgot to write “is”. I also changed “the” to “this”; This massive black hole is at the center of the Milky Way galaxy.’’’
‘’’Chris, once more, you must be extremely careful to avoid plagiarism. Using your own words is essential. The black hole’s event horizon is what was imaged. This horizon marks the boundary beyond which nothing can escape the object’s enormous gravitational force.’’’
‘’’Chris, you need to avoid plagiarism. Instead of being tasked with taking a conventional photo, the observatories involved were asked to observe radiation, the result of the event horizon’s bright ring of material.’’’
‘’’Avoid plagiarism. I deleted the first part of the sentence since I had already mentioned that in the previous sentence; This would help illustrate the silhouette of the massive black hole itself.’’’
‘’’Again, it is imperative that you do not continue to plagiarize; The image can only be captured, thanks to the fact that the EHT has an extremely high resolution; in fact, it contains an optical power 1,000-times that of the Hubble Space Telescope.’’’
‘’’Combined, the eight telescopes boast an optical power 1,000-times that of the Hubble Space Telescope. I combined this sentence with the previous one. Again, avoid plagiarism.‘’’
‘’’Where did you get this information? Is it credible? Remember to avoid opinions and stick to facts. I deleted your sentence and took information out of the original article to create a new one; The image serves as proof of concept for technology which could push astronomy to new heights.’’’
‘’’Again, avoid opinions and writing in first person; With the successful capturing of this image, the EHT project can go on to capture a number of higher quality images.’’’


Don't let the article suck you in

The Black Hole is a very weird celestial it is so powerful that light can't even escape it. All of that is supposed to change in less than 24 hours, thanks to the Event Horizon Telescope (EHT)—an eight-telescope project turned on in April 2017. Its mission: was to go into space and take the first ever picture of the black hole. The massive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The project has imaged the black hole’s event horizon, the “point of no return” boundary beyond which nothing and no one can escape the object’s enormous gravitational force. The observatories involved weren’t tasked with taking a convent photo of which has the mass of 4 million suns. Instead, they were operated to observe radiation produced by the event horizon’s bright ring of material, which could help illustrate the silhouette of the massive black hole itself. This is a pretty tall order when we’re talking about an object that’s more than 25,000 light-years in the distance, but EHT has a resolution that can, as MIT puts it, “count the stitches on a baseball 8,000 miles away.” Combined, the eight telescopes boast an optical power 1,000-times that of the Hubble Space Telescope. If our technology keeps developing we could years later go live in Mars, Mercury, Saturn, and etc. This is why we should keep advancing our technology every day. https://www.popsci.com/event-horizon-telescope-black-hole-watch


‘’’Don't Let This Article Suck You In

A Black Hole is a very celestial occurrence; it is powerful enough that even light can't escape it. Not much is known about black holes. However, all of that is supposed to change, thanks to the Event Horizon Telescope (EHT). This is an eight-telescope project turned that began in April 2017. The mission of the EHT was to go into space and take the first ever picture of a black hole. This massive black hole is at the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The black hole’s event horizon is what was imaged. This horizon marks the boundary beyond which nothing can escape the object’s enormous gravitational force. Instead of being tasked with taking a conventional photo, the observatories involved were asked to observe radiation, the result of the event horizon’s bright ring of material. This would help illustrate the silhouette of the massive black hole itself. The image can only be captured, thanks to the fact that the EHT has an extremely high resolution; in fact, it contains an optical power 1,000-times that of the Hubble Space Telescope. The image serves as proof of concept for technology which could push astronomy to new heights. With the successful capturing of this image, the EHT project can go on to capture a number of higher quality images.’’’ Source: https://www.popsci.com/event-horizon-telescope-black-hole-watch


Corn Pollution Everyone knows corn it is one of the most favorite crops in America, but it can be dangerous by the pollution it causes. The Nature team found that America's corn kernels contributed to thousands of deaths a year from their air pollution. Corn is widely spread and is the most produced feed grain in the U.S. taking 90 millions of acres of farms and farmers grew 14 billion bustles in last year 90 percent goes to livestock and producing ethanol. While a team assessed 2,000 corn producing companies in the U.S. it all linked together with air pollution deaths and that air pollution generated by corn production caused 4,300 deaths. The team also found out that agriculture is responsible for about 16,000 air pollution-related deaths a year in the U.S, and the most popular crop (corn) make up to 25% of the deaths. As discussed above corn can be tasty but deadly.https://www.popsci.com/air-pollution-corn-production-premature-deaths


‘’’Chris, remember to focus on positive news :)’’’
‘’’Your headline is good, but it is a bit vague. You might want to try something like “Lend an “Ear” to Learn About Corn Pollution”’’’
‘’’I omitted “Everyone knows” and added “easily”. I also rearranged your words for clarity but kept your main idea. Additionally, I changed “by the pollution” to “due to the pollution”; Corn is easily one of America’s favorite crops, but it can be dangerous due to the pollution it causes.’’’
‘’’I italicized “Nature” and changed “team” to “study”. I also changed “contributed” to “contribute”; A study published in Nature found of that America's corn may contribute to thousands of deaths a year from its air pollution.’’’
‘’’Chris, be careful to avoid run-on sentences. You can fix this issue by separating ideas with a period or a semicolon. Also, make sure to watch your spelling; I assume you were trying to write “spread”. Additionally, “bushels” is the correct spelling, not “bustles”; Corn is the most produced feed grain in the U.S. taking up more than 90 million acres of farmland. Last year, farmers grew over 14 billion bushels, most of which was consumed by livestock.’’’
‘’’Who is this team? Why are they credible? Jason Hill, an engineering professor at the University of Minnesota, and his team of scientists assessed 2,000 corn producing companies in the U.S. and found that their geographic distributing paths matched up with air pollution-related deaths; 4,300 deaths, to be exact.’’’
‘’’Chris, be careful to avoid plagiarism. You should read the original article, but then reiterate in your own words. Hill and his team also discovered that agriculture is responsible for about 16,000 air pollution related deaths a year and corn, specifically, makes up for more than 25% of the deaths.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to avoid opinions; stick to the facts.; Hill’s study suggested finding ways to improve the way nitrogen is added to fertilizer, keeping ammonia in the soil and out of the air.’’’

Corn Pollution

Everyone knows corn it is one of the most favorite crop in America, but it can be dangerous by the pollution it causes. The Nature team found of that America's corn kernels contributed to thousands of deaths a year from their air pollution. Corn is widely speread and is the most produced feed grain in the U.S. taking 90 millions of acres of farms and farmers grew 14 billion bustles in last year 90 percent goes to livestock and producing producing ethanol. While a team assessed 2,000 corn producing companies in the U.S. it all linked together with air pollution deaths and that air pollution generated by corn production caused 4,300 deaths. The team also found out that agriculture is responsible for about 16,000 air pollution related deaths a year in the U.S, and the most popular crop (corn) make up to 25% of the deaths. As disscussed above corn can be tasty but deadly.https://www.popsci.com/air-pollution-corn-production-premature-deaths


‘’’Lend an “Ear” to Learn About Corn Pollution

Corn is easily one of America’s favorite crops, but it can be dangerous due to the pollution it causes. Corn is easily one of America’s favorite crops, but it can be dangerous due to the pollution it causes. A study published in Nature found of that America's corn may contribute to thousands of deaths a year from its air pollution. Corn is the most produced feed grain in the U.S. taking up more than 90 million acres of farmland. Last year, farmers grew over 14 billion bushels, most of which was consumed by livestock. Jason Hill, an engineering professor at the University of Minnesota, and his team of scientists assessed 2,000 corn producing companies in the U.S. and found that their geographic distributing paths matched up with air pollution-related deaths; 4,300 deaths, to be exact. Hill and his team also discovered that agriculture is responsible for about 16,000 air pollution related deaths a year and corn, specifically, makes up for more than 25% of the deaths. Hill’s study suggested finding ways to improve the way nitrogen is added to fertilizer, keeping ammonia in the soil and out of the air.’’’ Source: https://www.popsci.com/air-pollution-corn-production-premature-deaths


Measles Back Again The measles virus is going all over the U.S., although the 2019 cases aren't recorded we are turning toward the year full of sick people. In the middle of March, 15 states have reported with measles cases to the Centers for Disease Contral: Arizona, California, Colorado Conneticut, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, michigan, Missouri, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington. The L.A. County Department of Public Health announced on March 21 that, for the second time in a month, somebody passed through the Los Angles International Airport while contagious with measles. Many measles cases were brought to the U.S., for instance the Philippines. There is outbreak there with more than 70 people dying in January out of total 14,300 cases. An epidemic in Madagascar has killed more than 900 people and sickened more than 68,000. This is very dangerous so us the people of the United States should get vaccinated and be care ful from other people too. https://www.popsci.com/current-measles-outbreaks-information-update


‘’’Chris, remember to focus on positive news’’’
‘’’Your headline is good, but I suggest something like: “Measles: A Resurfacing Epidemic”’’’
‘’’Chris, be careful to avoid run-on sentences. You can separate two, similar ideas by adding a semicolon or a period. Also, remember to write in past tense. I changed “is making” to “has made”. Additionally, I changed “going” to “making a reappearance” in order to provide more context. I also added a semicolon after “U.S.” and I subbed in “haven’t yet” for “aren’t”. The measles virus has made a reappearance across the U.S.; although the 2019 cases haven’t yet reached record numbers, it appears that the year will leave many indisposed.’’’
‘’’I switched the order of the first sentence, to differentiate a bit more from the original article’s sentence. Because I am starting the sentence off with a number, I have to spell it out, as opposed to using digits. Remember the check your spelling; I believe the word you were trying to spell was “Control”. Remember to capitalize and correctly spell all state names; Fifteen states have reported cases of measles to the Centers for Disease Control, as of March.’’’
‘’’Chris, be very careful to avoid plagiarism; this sentence was lifted almost word-for- word from the original article. During that same month, the L.A. County Department of Public Health made it public that, for the second time in a month, an individual passed through the Los Angeles International Airport while contagious with measles.’’’
‘’’Again, be careful to avoid plagiarism. I changed “Philippines” to “other countries” because the disease is not limited to the Philippines; Many measles cases that appear in the U.S. originate in other countries.’’’
‘’’I added “in the Philippines” to provide more context for your reader. I also changed “dying” to “resulted in the death” to further differentiate from the original article; In the Philippines, there is currently an outbreak that has resulted in the death of 70 children, out of a total 14,300 cases.’’’
‘’’Chris, you need to avoid plagiarizing. Remember to read the original article and then create your ideas. I added a semicolon to separate two, similar ideas. I also changed “sickened” to “infected”; Moreover, since September, an epidemic in Madagascar has killed more than 900 people; this epidemic has also infected more than 68,000 others.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to avoid first person and writing your own opinions; stick to the facts. Also, remember that “careful” is one word; It is recommended that children receive both doses of the MMR (measles) vaccine, which could very well mean the difference between life and death.’’’


Measles Back Again

The measles virus is going all over the U.S., although the 2019 cases aren't recorded we are turning toward the year full of sick people. In the middle of March, 15 states have reported with measles cases to the Centers for Disease Contral: Arizona, California, Colorado Conneticut, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, michigan, Missouri, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington. The L.A. County Department of Public Health announced on March 21 that, for the second time in a month, somebody passed through the Los Angles International Airport while contagious with measles. Many measles cases were brought to the U.S., for instance the Philippines. There is outbreak there with more than 70 people dying in January out of total 14,300 cases. An epidemic in Madagascar has killed more than 900 people and sickened more than 68,000. This is very dangerous so us the people of the United States should get vaccinated and be care ful from other people too. https://www.popsci.com/current-measles-outbreaks-information-update


‘’’Measles: A Resurfacing Epidemic

The measles virus has made a reappearance across the U.S.; although the 2019 cases haven’t yet reached record numbers, it appears that the year will leave many indisposed. Fifteen states have reported cases of measles to the Centers for Disease Control, as of March. During that same month, the L.A. County Department of Public Health made it public that, for the second time in a month, an individual passed through the Los Angeles International Airport while contagious with measles. Many measles cases that appear in the U.S. originate in other countries. In the Philippines, there is currently an outbreak that has resulted in the death of 70 children, out of a total 14,300 cases. Moreover, since September, an epidemic in Madagascar has killed more than 900 people; this epidemic has also infected more than 68,000 others. It is recommended that children receive both doses of the MMR (measles) vaccine, which could very well mean the difference between life and death.’’’ Source: https://www.popsci.com/current-measles-outbreaks-information-update



Planes Software Nowadays the future is coming faster and faster with new and better technology to help us, but some of the technology to help us, but some don't though. Before making improvements in the jet engines their reason their planes crashed was the same causes for Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 and a 737 MAX 8. Before the Ethiopian crash people had already been working on a software updates for the aircrafts. When they finished the software update it has been confirmed it will take about 60 minutes to install per aircraft. This is very critical software that's why you don't want anybody hacking it. This is why the future will be better everyday in our lives, but you also have to have the chance of possible incomes of dangers like the one in the article hacking the aircrafts software. https://www.popsci.com/boeing-software-update



‘’’Your headline is a bit vague. You could try something like, “Boeing Planes Are Grounded - Literally”’’’
‘’’Chris, try to avoid run on sentences; an easy way to separate ideas is to use a period or a semicolon. I deleted “Nowadays” because it was redundant. The future is now, as evidenced by new technology; this technology, however, can sometimes fail.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to ease your reader into your article; give them context before using words like “their”. Who are they? Two aviation accidents occurred that involved the same type of aircraft: a 737 MAX 8. These accidents were Lion Air Flight 610 and Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302.’’’
‘’’Again, remember to give context; which “people” are you talking about? Are they credible? I changed “people” to “Boeing” and “aircrafts” to “planes”, in order to differ from the original article. Even before the Ethiopian 302 crash occurred, Boeing had already been working on a software updates for their planes.’’’
‘’’Again, make sure to give the name of the person or representative so that your reader knows that the information is credible; don’t just use “they”; Once the software has been completed, Boeing confirmed that the update will take about 60 minutes to install, per aircraft.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to avoid using first and second person; The software is very critical, and measures are being taken, so as not to leave it exposed to hacking.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember that you should focus on writing facts and omitting your opinion. Also, try to avoid writing in first person. Although the software is being expertly developed, the FAA has grounded all Boeing 737 MAX planes, for the time being.’’’

Planes Software

Nowadays the future is coming faster and faster with new and better technology to help us, but some of the technology to help us, but some don't though. Before making improvements in the jet engines their reason their planes crashed was the same causes for Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 and a 737 MAX 8. Before the Ethiopian crash people had already been working on a software updates for the aircrafts. When they finished the software update it has been confirmed it will take about 60 minutes to install per aircraft. This is very critical software that's why you don't want anybody hacking it. This is why the future will be better every day in our lives, but you also have to have the chance of possible incomes of dangers like the one in the article hacking the aircrafts software. https://www.popsci.com/boeing-software-update

‘’’Boeing Planes Are Grounded – Literally

The future is now, as evidenced by new technology; this technology, however, can sometimes fail. Two aviation accidents occurred that involved the same type of aircraft: a 737 MAX 8. These accidents were Lion Air Flight 610 and Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302. Even before the Ethiopian 302 crash occurred, Boeing had already been working on a software updates for their planes. Once the software has been completed, Boeing confirmed that the update will take about 60 minutes to install, per aircraft. The software is very critical, and measures are being taken, so as not to leave it exposed to hacking. Although the software is being expertly developed, the FAA has grounded all Boeing 737 MAX planes, for the time being.’’’ Source: https://www.popsci.com/boeing-software-update


Robot Surgeons Having a robot surgeon will be helpful and dangerous in many ways. Robots can make precise cuts with a blade, insert threading needles, and can even tie knots, but the modern machines are still hindered by poor vision. In the crowded environment of soft-tissue surgery, but the struggle to keep track of where the organs are related to each other. Robots have been used for a third hand for scientists, but now STAR is bringing self-driving robot-surgery a step closer. Therefore, may we keep working on this we will help many people in the world. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/05/video-robot-surgeons-make-big-advance


‘’’Chris, your headline was a little vague; remember you want to give your reader an idea of what the rest of your article will be about. I suggest something like “Robot Surgeons: Science Fiction Made Reality”’’’
‘’’I made “robot surgeon” plural and I changed “and” to “both”. I also used the synonym “several” instead of “many” and I added “in the medical field” to provide context for your reader; Using robot surgeons in the medical field can be both helpful and dangerous in several ways.’’’
‘’’Great job on this sentence! I removed the comma before “and can even tie knots” because it is not necessary. Your sentence was also too long, so I divided it by adding a semicolon and inserting “however”; Robots can make precise cuts with a blade, insert threading needles and can even tie knots; however, the modern machines are still hindered by poor vision.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember to re-read your sentences and make sure they make sense. I changed “crowded” to “crammed” because you should try to avoid using too many of the same words from the original article. I also removed “but the” because it did not make sense where you placed it. Additionally, I added “robots” so that the reader knows what you are talking about; In the crammed environment of soft-tissue surgery, robots struggle to keep track of where the organs are, related to each other.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember that your reader does not have all the information you have; you’ll want to spell out acronyms such as STAR. I also added “in the past” so that the reader can differentiate. Additionally, I divided the thought into two sections by using a semicolon; In the past, robots have been used as a sort of “third hand” for scientists; these days, a new system, the Smart Tissue Autonomous Robot (STAR), is bringing self-driving robot-surgery a step closer.’’’
‘’’Chris, be careful to avoid run-on sentences. Also, remember that you want to focus on writing facts, and not opinions. Additionally, try to avoid writing in the third person; If experts continue working on this project, the medical world may soon see robot surgeons at work, everywhere.’’’

Robot Surgeons

Having a robot surgeon will be helpful and dangerous in many ways. Robots can make precise cuts with a blade, insert threading needles, and can even tie knots, but the modern machines are still hindered by poor vision. In the crowded environment of soft-tissue surgery, but the struggle to keep track of where the organs are related to each other. Robots have been used for a third hand for scientists, but now STAR is bringing self-driving robot-surgery a step closer. Therefore, may we keep working on this we will help many people in the world.https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/05/video-robot-surgeons-make-big-advance


‘’’Robot Surgeons: Science Fiction Made Reality

Using robot surgeons in the medical field can be both helpful and dangerous in several ways. Robots can make precise cuts with a blade, insert threading needles and can even tie knots; however, the modern machines are still hindered by poor vision. In the crammed environment of soft-tissue surgery, robots struggle to keep track of where the organs are, related to each other. In the past, robots have been used as a sort of “third hand” for scientists; these days, a new system, the Smart Tissue Autonomous Robot (STAR), is bringing self-driving robot-surgery a step closer. If experts continue working on this project, the medical world may soon see robot surgeons at work, everywhere.’’’ Source: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/05/video-robot-surgeons-make-big-advance


World's Largest Bee gone missing now found

The bee was discovered in 1858 by Alfred Russel Wallace he noted that the bee's large jaws, which looked like those from a stag beetle. In 1981 the bee went missing again, but the bee lived in the rain forest of Indonesia. The bee was four times larger than the typical honey bee, with giant jaws and a wingspan of 6 centimeters, is as long as the short side of a dollar bill. It has been found again after 5 days of searching, they located a single female in a termite's nest, while the bees build their own nests inside structures defending them with tree sap they collected. Therefore, if we keep looking it is possible we can find more important creatures and things. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/02/world-s-largest-bee-vanished-decades-ago-now-scientists-have-spotted-it-again



Make sure to separate the ideas in your headline. I would recommend a headline such as “An UnBEElievable Discovery”
Chris, remember you can’t begin without giving any context about the bee. What bee? You want to begin your article by giving an idea of what the rest of it will be about; The world’s largest bee, Wallace’s giant bee, which was previously thought to be extinct, was recently spotted.
Be careful to avoid run on sentences. I added “during which” to unite your two ideas. I also removed “which” because it was not necessary. Additionally, I changed “from” to “of”; The bee was discovered in 1858 by Alfred Russel Wallace, during which he noted the bee's large jaws, which looked like those of a stag beetle.
Chris, the original article said that the bee lives in Indonesia currently; it makes no mention of where it lived in the past. Try not to repeat your words too often; instead of saying “the bee” twice, you can use “it” on the second reference; The bee, which lives in the rainforests of Indonesia, went missing for the second time since its discovery, in 1981.
I changed “was” to “is” because you are talking about the bee’s current characteristics. Chris, make sure to check your spelling; I changed “then” to “than”; The bee is four times larger than the typical honey bee, with giant jaws and a wingspan of 6 centimeters, making it as long as the short side of a dollar bill.
Chris, you began this sentence without giving any context, making it a bit confusing. Who is “they”? What is “it”? Recently, a group of entomologists was responsible for finding a single female in a termite's nest, after 5 days of searching.
Chris, remember to focus on the facts and try to avoid writing opinions. Also, try to avoid writing in first and second person; With further searching and investigating, more of earth’s mysteries can continue to be uncovered.

World's Largest Bee gone missing now found


The bee was discovered in 1858 by Alfred Russel Wallace he noted that the bee's large jaws, which looked like those from a stag beetle. In 1981 the bee went missing again, but the bee lived in the rain forest of Indonesia. The bee was four times larger then the typical honey bee, with giant jaws and a wingspan of 6 centimeters, is as long as the short side of a dollar bill. It has been found again after 5 days of searching, they located a single female in a termite's nest, while the bees build their own nests inside structures defending them with tree sap they collected. Therefore, if we keep looking it is a possible we can find more important creatures and things. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/02/world-s-largest-bee-vanished-decades-ago-now-scientists-have-spotted-it-again


An UnBEElievable Discovery


The world’s largest bee, Wallace’s giant bee, which was previously thought to be extinct, was recently spotted. The bee was discovered in 1858 by Alfred Russel Wallace, during which he noted the bee's large jaws, which looked like those of a stag beetle. The bee, which lives in the rainforests of Indonesia, went missing for the second time since its discovery, in 1981. The bee is four times larger than the typical honey bee, with giant jaws and a wingspan of 6 centimeters, making it as long as the short side of a dollar bill. Recently, a group of entomologists was responsible for finding a single female in a termite's nest, after 5 days of searching. With further searching and investigating, more of earth’s mysteries can continue to be uncovered. Source: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/02/world-s-largest-bee-vanished-decades-ago-now-scientists-have-spotted-it-again


Flying Taxis

There are new advancements happening every day and it will keep on advancing every day.Aurora Flight Sciences created a nearly 9-feet-wide, 30-feet-long prototype aircraft, but can only carry a few people a short distance. The Boeing test vehicle, which has a "cruise" propeller in the back for horizontal flight, and on addition eight rotors for vertical flight. Your flight with the aircraft across the ocean is powered by jet fuel, built a 10-to15- minute jaunt in a city could be battery-driven. One problem is getting battery tech to where it should be even if it got impotent. I think we will make better advancements and will make more cool tech every day if we work hard. https://www.popsci.com/flying-taxis-boeing-test-vehicle


‘’’Your headline is good but remember to give your reader an idea of what your article will be about. For example, I recommend something like, “Flying Taxis: Uber in the Sky”’’’
‘’’Chris, try not to use the same word more than once, per sentence. I changed “happening” to “occurring” and “advancing” to “changing”; New advancements are constantly occurring and changing the world we live in, each day.’’’
‘’’I added “for instance” to connect the idea from the previous sentence. I also separated the original sentence by adding a semicolon, so as to avoid a run-on sentence; For instance, Aurora Flight Sciences created a nearly 9-feet-wide, 30-feet-long prototype aircraft; so far, it can only carry a few people a short distance.’’’
‘’’Chris, be careful not to plagiarize; your sentence was too similar to the original one. I removed “which” because it was unnecessary, as well as “on addition” which, in any case, would be written “in addition”; The Boeing test machine has a "cruise" propeller in the back for horizontal flight and eight rotors for vertical flight.’’’
‘’’Again, make sure you’re not simply pulling sentences directly from the original article; Unlike a flight across the ocean, which is powered by jet fuel, the Boeing aircraft could offer a 10-to 15-minute flight in a city, which would be battery-driven.’’’
‘’’Again, you can’t take sentences directly from the original article; read it through and then make your own sentences. However, a significant issue is getting battery tech to where it should be, despite all the advancements that have been made.’’’
‘’’Chris, remember that you should focus on writing facts and omitting your opinion. Also, try to avoid writing in first person. Despite the challenges, aerospace engineers have shown great excitement towards what the future might hold.’’’

Flying Taxis

There are new advancements happening every day and it will keep on advancing every day. Aurora Flight Sciences created a nearly 9-feet-wide, 30-feet-long prototype aircraft, but can only carry a few people a short distance. The Boeing test vehicle, which has a "cruise" propeller in the back for horizontal flight, and on addition eight rotors for vertical flight. Your flight with the aircraft across the ocean is powered by jet fuel, built a 10-to15- minute jaunt in a city could be battery-driven. One problem is getting battery tech to where it should be even if it got impotent. I think we will make better advancements and will make more cool tech every day if we work hard.

‘’’Flying Taxis: Uber in the Sky

New advancements are constantly occurring and changing the world we live in, each day. For instance, Aurora Flight Sciences created a nearly 9-feet-wide, 30-feet-long prototype aircraft; so far, it can only carry a few people a short distance. The Boeing test machine has a "cruise" propeller in the back for horizontal flight and eight rotors for vertical flight. Unlike a flight across the ocean, which is powered by jet fuel, the Boeing aircraft could offer a 10-to 15-minute flight in a city, which would be battery-driven. However, a significant issue is getting battery tech to where it should be, despite all the advancements that have been made. Despite the challenges, aerospace engineers have shown great excitement towards what the future might hold.’’’ Source: https://www.popsci.com/flying-taxis-boeing-test-vehicle


Ghost apples are coming over to Kent County by freezing cold weather. The freezing rain coated rotting apples, creating a solid icy shell around them. Some of the apples the mush slipped out of the bottom of the ice casing. It was cold enough for the ice to remain, but warm enough to make the apples into mush. Since apples have a lower freezing point than water. Maybe more ghost apples will come if the tempature is colder. https://www.woodtv.com/news/kent-county/icy-rain-creates-ghost-apples-in-kent-county/1762758353


Headline is missing. A good example might be “An Apeeling Find” (a pun based on an apple’s peel)
Chris, remember that it’s usually best to write in the past tense. I also changed “by” to “due to”; Ghost apples appeared in Kent County due to freezing cold weather.
Chris, be careful to avoid plagiarism. This sentence is basically taken word for word from the original article; The freezing rain coated rotting apples, creating a solid shell made entirely of ice.
I added “In” at the beginning to give clarity and added “leaving only the shell” to differ from the original; In some of the apples, the fruit mush emptied out of the bottom of the ice casing, leaving only the shell.
I changed the word “make” into “turn” because it fits better in the sentence; It was cold enough for the ice to remain, but warm enough to turn the apples into mush.
Chris, this sentence is incomplete, so I added what was necessary to make it whole; This is due to the fact that apples have a lower freezing point than water.
Chris, be aware of correct spelling; “temperature” is the correct spelling. I also changed “maybe” to “perhaps”; Perhaps more ghost apples will appear if the temperature becomes that cold again.

An Apeeling Find Ghost apples are coming over to Kent County by freezing cold weather. The freezing rain coated rotting apples, creating a solid icy shell around them. Some of the apples the mush slipped out of the bottom of the ice casing. It was cold enough for the ice to remain, but warm enough to make the apples into mush. Since apples have a lower freezing point than water. Perhaps more ghost apples will come if the temperature is colder. Source: https://www.woodtv.com/news/kent-county/icy-rain-creates-ghost-apples-in-kent-county/1762758353


An Apeeling Find Ghost apples appeared in Kent County due to freezing cold weather. The freezing rain coated rotting apples, creating a solid shell made entirely of ice. In some of the apples, the fruit mush emptied out of the bottom of the ice casing, leaving only the shell. It was cold enough for the ice to remain, but warm enough to turn the apples into mush. This is due to the fact that apples have a lower freezing point than water. Perhaps more ghost apples will appear if the temperature becomes that cold again. Source: https://www.woodtv.com/news/kent-county/icy-rain-creates-ghost-apples-in-kent-county/1762758353


Star Trek-like replicators

New technology is advancing starting with the newly and advanced 3D printer. Most built objects are made from solidifying gels or plastics, but now we are building off of technology used to pinpoint delivery of radiation to cancer patients. How it works the researches use computer-controlled digital light projector to cast a series of 2D images from a rotating vial having photosensitive gel.While the vial rotates photons are coming in at every direction which the photons meet at selected spots in the gel. In their meeting place they combine energy which solidifies the gel, where the meetup doesn't happen, and the photons just pass through without messing with the photosensitive material. Looks like ideas that were created fifty years ago in Star Trek that are coming now. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/01/star-trek-replicator-creates-entire-objects-minutes


Good title, but I would consider changing it to “The Star Trek-like Replicator”
Chris, writing “new” about “advancing” technology is a bit repetitive, so I am removing “new”. I also changed “newly” to “new” which is the correct term; Technology is advancing, as evidenced by the new and advanced 3D printer.
Chris, make sure to carefully read the original article so that you can fully understand the main idea. I added “printing technologies” so that the reader can have a better understanding of what you are talking about. Also, remember to avoid writing “we” because it is best to stay away from first and second person. To avoid a run-on sentence, I divided the ideas into two sentences; Most printing technologies build objects from solidifying gels or plastics, layer by layer. The new advance, however, creates formed objects by building on a technology for pinpoint delivery of radiation to patients that suffer from cancer.
Again, make sure you fully understand the original article before writing your take. I added “to explain” at the beginning of the sentence to allow the sentence to flow better; To explain how it works, researches use a computer-controlled digital light projector to cast a series of 2D images through a rotating vial which contains a photosensitive gel.
I removed your second use of “photons” because it was not necessary; While the vial rotates, photons entering from different directions meet at selected spots in the gel.
Chris, be careful to avoid “fluff” which are extra words that are not necessary to get your point across. Again, be careful to avoid run-on sentences; At the meeting place, their fused energy solidifies the gel. If the meetup doesn't take place, the photons just pass through without altering the photosensitive material.
I reworded your sentence so that it made more sense, but kept your original idea which was great; It appears that ideas which were created fifty years ago in the Star Trek movies are now coming to real life!

Star Trek-like replicators New technology is advancing starting with the newly and advanced 3D printer. Most built objects are made from solidifying gels or plastics, but now we are building off of technology used to pinpoint delivery of radiation to cancer patients. How it works the researches use computer-controlled digital light projector to cast a series of 2D images from a rotating vial having photosensitive gel. While the vial rotates photons are coming in at every direction which the photons meet at selected spots in the gel. In their meeting place they combine energy which solidifies the gel, where the meetup doesn't happen, and the photons just pass through without messing with the photosensitive material. Looks like ideas that were created fifty years ago in Star Trek that are coming now. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/01/star-trek-replicator-creates-entire-objects-minutes

The Star Trek-like Replicator Technology is advancing, as evidenced by the new and advanced 3D printer. Most printing technologies build objects from solidifying gels or plastics, layer by layer. The new advance, however, creates formed objects by building on a technology for pinpoint delivery of radiation to patients that suffer from cancer. To explain how it works, researches use a computer-controlled digital light projector to cast a series of 2D images through a rotating vial which contains a photosensitive gel. While the vial rotates, photons entering from different directions meet at selected spots in the gel. At the meeting place, their fused energy solidifies the gel. If the meetup doesn't take place, the photons just pass through without altering the photosensitive material. It appears that ideas which were created fifty years ago in the Star Trek movies are now coming to real life! Source: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/01/star-trek-replicator-creates-entire-objects-minutes


Dead-lifting

Dead-lifts have been passed on for centuries, until this one we are now changing history as we go through each day.They started with competitions of dead-lifting huge wagon wheels connected to a wooden post, but nowadays we use carefully engineered barbells.This barbell is built to endure half ton lifts without bending or breaking.The barbell is a 14-foot bar and has tires, but much taller than the typical weight plates.They needed strong material that was between 190,000 and 220,000 psi tensile strength, but the company decided to land on 200,000 psi stainless steel.If more technology keeps on advancing we certainly will have much more durable and better dead-lifts for the future. https://www.popsci.com/rogue-elephant-bar-deadlift-barbell


Good headline, but it is a bit vague; you could try something like “The Evolution of the Deadlift”
Chris, the article talks about deadlifts dating back to 1987, so “centuries” would not be the right word. Instead, I used “decades”. I reworded the sentence so that the reader can follow along easier but kept your idea; Deadlifts have been an iconic part of strength competition for decades, but have undergone different transformations over the years.
Chris, who is “they”? Try to avoid ambiguous words that leave the reader with questions. Also, remember to avoid using first and second person. Additionally, don’t be afraid to separate ideas with periods or semicolons, to avoid run-on sentences; In the beginning, competitions consisted of participants deadlifting huge wagon wheels connected to a wooden post; nowadays competitors use carefully engineered barbells.
Chris, try to avoid starting sentences with the word “this” because it too ambiguous. Also, make sure to read the original article carefully; the article states that the barbell should, in fact, bend, though not permanently; The kind of barbells that are used today are built to endure half ton lifts without permanently bending or breaking.
Again, make sure to very carefully read your original article. The description that you are giving in this sentence pertains to an older version of a barbell, not the one used nowadays; The barbell, from which the evolved version comes from, was a 14-foot bar and had tires, much taller than the weight plates used today.
Chris, who is “they”? Make sure to specify so that your reader does not get confused; Also, remember to use semicolons or periods to avoid run-on sentences; In order to create the perfect bar, the fitness equipment manufacturer, Rogue Fitness, needed strong material that was between 190,000 and 220,000 psi tensile strength; the company eventually landed on 200,000 psi stainless steel.
Again, try to avoid using first and second person when writing; As technology continues advancing, people can expect more durable and all-around better deadlifts for the future.

Dead-lifting


Dead-lifts have been passed on for centuries, until this one we are now changing history as we go through each day. They started with competitions of dead-lifting huge wagon wheels connected to a wooden post, but nowadays we use carefully engineered barbells. This barbell is built to endure half ton lifts without bending or breaking. The barbell is a 14-foot bar and has tires, but much taller than the typical weight plates. They needed strong material that was between 190,000 and 220,000 psi tensile strength, but the company decided to land on 200,000 psi stainless steel. If more technology keeps on advancing we certainly will have much more durable and better dead-lifts for the future. https://www.popsci.com/rogue-elephant-bar-deadlift-barbell


The Evolution of the Deadlift


Deadlifts have been an iconic part of strength competition for decades, but have undergone different transformations over the years. In the beginning, competitions consisted of participants deadlifting huge wagon wheels connected to a wooden post; nowadays competitors use carefully engineered barbells. The kind of barbells that are used today are built to endure half ton lifts without permanently bending or breaking. The barbell, from which the evolved version comes from, was a 14-foot bar and had tires, much taller than the weight plates used today. In order to create the perfect bar, the fitness equipment manufacturer, Rogue Fitness, needed strong material that was between 190,000 and 220,000 psi tensile strength; the company eventually landed on 200,000 psi stainless steel. As technology continues advancing, people can expect more durable and all-around better deadlifts for the future. Source: https://www.popsci.com/rogue-elephant-bar-deadlift-barbell


Robot Dogs

These days,technology is developing better each day of our lives, starting with the robot dog. Teaching the robot dog through a computer simulation is 1000-times faster than teaching it in real-life.If you would have thrown the robot dog in the air, it would supposedly figure out how to stand back up.The robot dog is 2 feet tall, has 12 joints, and is electrically-powered.The robot dog also if commanded to walk 1.1 mph it could do it better than before,also if it gets up from a fall it can run faster than before too.With more advancements with technology, more developments will be created. https://www.popsci.com/robotic-dog-artificial-intelligence


Chris< I reworded “these days” to “In today’s world” because I find it is a better way to introduce the idea. Instead of using “better”, which is a but vague, I used “further and further”; In today’s world, technology is developing further and further, evidenced, for example, by the robot dog.
Chris, it is important to let your reader know where you are acquiring your information so that they know it is valid. Also, you don’t need a hyphen between “real” and “life”; According to a study in the Science Robotics journal, teaching the robot dog through a computer simulation is 1000-times faster than teaching it physically, in real life.
Chris, remember to avoid writing in first and second person. I also added information on how experts figured this fact out; If someone were to throw the robot dog in the air, it would supposedly figure out how to stand back up, thanks to a computer-generated simulation that was run first.
Great job with this sentence; I removed the last comma because it was not necessary; The robot dog is 2 feet tall, has 12 joints and is electrically-powered.
Chris, I changed the word “better to “accurately” because it is more descriptive. I also removed the last part about the robot getting up, because you already talked about that in a previous sentence; Thanks to time with the simulator, the robot dog can follow more precise instructions; if commanded to walk 1.1 mph, the robot could do it more accurately than before.
I reworded your sentence, so that it is easier for the reader to follow, but kept your original idea which was great; As further advancements in technology are made, more developments will be incorporated.

Robot Dogs

These days,technology is developing better each day of our lives, starting with the robot dog. Teaching the robot dog through a computer simulation is 1000-times faster than teaching it in real-life.If you would have thrown the robot dog in the air, it would supposedly figure out how to stand back up. The robot dog is 2 feet tall, has 12 joints, and is electrically-powered. The robot dog also if commanded to walk 1.1 mph it could do it better than before,also if it gets up from a fall it can run faster than before too. With more advancements with technology, more developments will be created. https://www.popsci.com/robotic-dog-artificial-intelligence

Robot Dogs

In today’s world, technology is developing further and further, evidenced, for example, by the robot dog. According to a study in the Science Robotics journal, teaching the robot dog through a computer simulation is 1000-times faster than teaching it physically, in real life. If someone were to throw the robot dog in the air, it would supposedly figure out how to stand back up, thanks to a computer-generated simulation that was run first. The robot dog is 2 feet tall, has 12 joints and is electrically-powered. Thanks to time with the simulator, the robot dog can follow more precise instructions; if commanded to walk 1.1 mph, the robot could do it more accurately than before. As further advancements in technology are made, more developments will be incorporated. Source: https://www.popsci.com/robotic-dog-artificial-intelligence


Myrrh and Frankincense

Frankincense and Myrrh are very helpful herbs and are very interesting. The first Myrrh tree was secured 3,500 years ago in Egypt by a pharaoh named Hatshepsut. Also in the bible in Matthews it said 3 magi's followed a star to Bethlehem to see baby Jesus and gave gold, frankincense, and myrrh.Frankencence looks golden, but meanwhile, myrrh is brown.In ancient times gold, frankincense, and myrrh cost the same.This is the origin about myrrh and frankincense. https://www.popsci.com/what-are-frankincense-and-myrrh


I liked your headline, but I would recommend something like “The Genesis of Myrrh and Frankincense” This is another way to say“ The beginning of Myrrh and Frankincense” and it flows well, because you mention the Bible in your article.
I used “beneficial” instead of helpful because it is a more descriptive word. Remember that you don’t capitalize the names of the herbs unless they are at the beginning of a sentence; Frankincense and myrrh are both very interesting and beneficial herbs.
I clarified that, according to the article, myrrh is the name given to the sap, not the actual tree; The first Commiphora tree, from which myrrh is extracted, was secured 3,500 years ago in Egypt by a pharaoh named Hatshepsut and her explorers.
Chris, remember to capitalize “Bible”. Also, generally speaking, you should always spell out numbers one through nine. I also clarified what “magi” are, so that your reader can understand what you are talking about; The Bible says, in the book of Matthew, that three Magi, or wise men, followed a star to Bethlehem to see baby Jesus and gifted gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Chris, you can either use “but” or “meanwhile” but not both, because that makes your sentence redundant; Frankincense has a golden color, while myrrh has a brown hue.
I added a comma after “times” and removed the unnecessary one before “and”; In ancient times, gold, frankincense and myrrh cost the same amount.
Chris, try to avoid using “this” at the beginning of your sentences because it is a bit vague; The aforementioned facts explain the origin of myrrh and frankincense.

Myrrh and Frankincense

Frankincense and Myrrh are very helpful herbs and are very interesting. The first Myrrh tree was secured 3,500 years ago in Egypt by a pharaoh named Hatshepsut. Also in the bible in Matthews it said 3 magi's followed a star to Bethlehem to see baby Jesus and gave gold, frankincense, and myrrh.Frankencence looks golden, but meanwhile, myrrh is brown.In ancient times gold, frankincense, and myrrh cost the same.This is the origin about myrrh and frankincense. https://www.popsci.com/what-are-frankincense-and-myrrh

The Genesis of Myrrh and Frankincense

Frankincense and myrrh are both very interesting and beneficial herbs. The first Commiphora tree, from which myrrh is extracted, was secured 3,500 years ago in Egypt by a pharaoh named Hatshepsut and her explorers. The Bible says, in the book of Matthew, that three Magi, or wise men, followed a star to Bethlehem to see baby Jesus and gifted gold, frankincense and myrrh. Frankincense has a golden color, while myrrh has a brown hue. In ancient times, gold, frankincense and myrrh cost the same amount. The aforementioned facts explain the origin of myrrh and frankincense. Source: https://www.popsci.com/what-are-frankincense-and-myrrh


"Ion Drive" Plane

The Ion Drive plane doesn't need any battery or gas it just needs an Ion drive and an electrode.The planes weight is a little over 5 pounds, the wingspan is 16 feet, and it went 230 feet up on its longest flight, its speed is 11 mph.An electrode is like a wire, and it can be charged with 20,00 volts of electricity.The two electrodes can help the plane fly because, the first one, spurs nearby nitrogen molecules to lose an electron and be positively charged.The positive nitrogen ions are then attracted to the second electrode, which has a negative charge. While a nitrogen ion is traveling between the electrodes, because it bumps into regular air molecules, and on each collision, it transfers energies to those molecules and creates a wind of neutral air.Now scientists and engineers are now figuring out how to put passengers in a plane like that and enlargen the plane more. https://www.popsci.com/ion-drive-airplane



I would recommend a more descriptive headline, like “The Ion Drive Plane: A New Kind of Aircraft”
Chris, take care to make sure you thoroughly read and understand the original article. I focused on the electrodes which is what the article mostly talks about. Also, remember to avoid contractions like “don’t”; The ion drive plane does not run on a battery or gas; it just needs a pair of key components: electrodes.
The article indeed states that the plane flew 230 feet, but it did not fly 230 feet up into the sky; instead, it flew straight for those 200 feet. Be careful to avoid run-on sentences and use semicolons or periods to separate ideas; The plane’s weight is a little over 5 pounds, the wingspan is 16 feet, and it can reach a speed of 11 mph; on its longest flight, it flew 230 feet.
Great job with this sentence. I placed it right after you mention that the plane runs on electrodes so that the reader can be informed; An electrode is like a wire and can be charged with 20,000 volts of electricity.
I removed excess wordiness that was not necessary but kept your original idea; To help the plane fly, the first electrode spurs nearby nitrogen molecules to lose an electron and becomes positively charged.
Chris, be careful to avoid plagiarism; this sentence was taken word for word from the original article; Consequently, the positive nitrogen ions are attracted to the second electrode, which has a negative charge.
Again, make sure you are understanding the original article, and not just copying what you read; While a nitrogen ion is traveling between the electrodes, it bumps into regular air molecules, transferring energies to the molecules, which creates a wind of neutral air.
Make sure to watch your spelling. I reorganized the order of your sentence, but kept your idea; Scientists and engineers are in the process of figuring out how to enlarge the plane, in order to put passengers on it.

"Ion Drive" Plane


The Ion Drive plane doesn't need any battery or gas it just needs an Ion drive and an electrode.The planes weight is a little over 5 pounds, the wingspan is 16 feet, and it went 230 feet up on its longest flight, its speed is 11 mph.An electrode is like a wire, and it can be charged with 20,00 volts of electricity.The two electrodes can help the plane fly because, the first one, spurs nearby nitrogen molecules to lose an electron and be positively charged.The positive nitrogen ions are then attracted to the second electrode, which has a negative charge. While a nitrogen ion is traveling between the electrodes, because it bumps into regular air molecules, and on each collision, it transfers energies to those molecules and creates a wind of neutral air.Now scientists and engineers are now figuring out how to put passengers in a plane like that and enlargen the plane more. https://www.popsci.com/ion-drive-airplane


The Ion Drive Plane: A New Kind of Aircraft


The ion drive plane does not run on a battery or gas; it just needs a pair of key components: electrodes. An electrode is like a wire and can be charged with 20,000 volts of electricity. To help the plane fly, the first electrode spurs nearby nitrogen molecules to lose an electron and becomes positively charged. Consequently, the positive nitrogen ions are attracted to the second electrode, which has a negative charge. While a nitrogen ion is traveling between the electrodes, it bumps into regular air molecules, transferring energies to the molecules, which creates a wind of neutral air. The plane’s weight is a little over 5 pounds, the wingspan is 16 feet, and it can reach a speed of 11 mph; on its longest flight, it flew 230 feet. Scientists and engineers are in the process of figuring out how to enlarge the plane, in order to put passengers on it. Source: https://www.popsci.com/ion-drive-airplane


Sleeping

Getting sleep for more than 9 or ten hours can be unhealthy.Studies say that if you have 9 or more hours of sleep it could lead to mortality (death).Sleeping more than 10 hours can also cause you to have serious illnesses you could get infections, pneumonia, and immune-activating cancers.The director of the sleep and neuroimaging lab talked about how many diseases and ailments might encourage someone to sleep more but put them in a higher risk.It is not clear how 9.5 hours versus 8 hours of sleep would negatively impact somebody.Now you know to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a day.


The missing hyperlink prevented me from checking the facts.
headline is a bit too vague; you might want to try something like “Sleeping: Less is More”
I removed excess wordiness but kept your original idea; Getting more than nine or 10 hours of sleep can be unhealthy.
Again, I reworded your sentence a bit, but kept your idea. When talking about studies, it usually best to use the word “show” instead of “say”; Studies show that sleeping for over eight hours can lead to mortality (death).
Remember to avoid using first and second person; Sleeping more than 10 hours can also cause serious illnesses, such as infections, pneumonia, and immune-activating cancers.
Chris, who is this director? A name would give more validity to your words. I reworded your sentence, for clarity, but maintained your idea; The director of the sleep and neuroimaging lab explained that many diseases and ailments may encourage a person to sleep more, but excessive sleeping might put them at a higher risk.
Remember, generally speaking, you should spell out numerals from one through nine; It is not clear how getting nine and a half hours of sleep versus eight hours could negatively impact somebody.
Again, remember to avoid first and second person and to spell out your numerals; However, it is recommended to get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night.
Chris, remember to always add the hyperlink from the original article.

Sleeping


Getting sleep for more than 9 or ten hours can be unhealthy.Studies say that if you have 9 or more hours of sleep it could lead to mortality (death).Sleeping more than 10 hours can also cause you to have serious illnesses you could get infections, pneumonia, and immune-activating cancers.The director of the sleep and neuroimaging lab talked about how many diseases and ailments might encourage someone to sleep more but put them in a higher risk.It is not clear how 9.5 hours versus 8 hours of sleep would negatively impact somebody.Now you know to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a day.

Sleeping: Less is More


Getting more than nine or 10 hours of sleep can be unhealthy. Studies show that sleeping for over eight hours can lead to mortality (death). Sleeping more than 10 hours can also cause serious illnesses, such as infections, pneumonia, and immune-activating cancers. The director of the sleep and neuroimaging lab explained that many diseases and ailments may encourage a person to sleep more, but excessive sleeping might put them at a higher risk. It is not clear how getting nine and a half hours of sleep versus eight hours could negatively impact somebody. However, it is recommended to get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night. Missing Source


Helmets Save Lives

A innovative helmet can save an accident victim almost instantaneously by reporting the accident to emergency officials.The helmet helps you by seeing if the accelerometer and gyroscope detect a fall, maybe from a car or tripping on something.The helmet is also connected on your phone with Bluetooth. To initiate an alarm if you're hurt.The helmet can also contact your emergency contacts and tells the location of where you are too.If you don't respond. The helmet can also capture three kinds of events, one is a straightforward and linear impact, another is involving linear forces and rotational ones too, the last is a whiplash of a crash. This helmet can now lessen the amounts of death for cyclists. https://www.popsci.com/bike-helmet-crash-detection


Chris, remember to carefully read the article and make sure you understand it; the helmet cannot instantaneously save a crash victim on it own, but it can serve as an aid; An innovative bike helmet can help save a crash victim by almost instantaneously reporting the accident to emergency officials.
Try to avoid using first and second person whenever possible. Also, try to avoid the words “or something” because it is too ambiguous; The helmet has an accelerometer and a gyroscope that, when detecting a fall, initiates an alarm via a Bluetooth connection to the user’s phone.
I combined this sentence with the previous one, because they had correlating ideas; The helmet is also connected to the user’s phone by Bluetooth.
This sentence is only a fragment; make sure to use correct punctuation; To initiate an alarm if you're hurt.
I reworded your sentence to provide clarity, but I kept your original idea which was great; Additionally, if the user does not respond, the helmet can notify emergency contacts and can communicate the individual’s location.
Again, his sentence is only a fragment; make sure to use correct punctuation; If you don't respond.
I used semicolons to separate the items on the list you wrote, because the original sentence was a run-on; Furthermore, the helmet has the ability to capture three kinds of events that can happen to a user’s head: a straightforward and linear impact; an impact involving linear and rotational forces; and the whiplash of a crash.
I added “innovation” to explain ‘what’ about the helmet helps it save lives; Thanks to its innovation, the helmet can aid in reducing the amount of deaths in cyclists.

Helmets Save Lives

A innovative helmet can save an accident victim almost instantaneously by reporting the accident to emergency officials.The helmet helps you by seeing if the accelerometer and gyroscope detect a fall, maybe from a car or tripping on something.The helmet is also connected on your phone with Bluetooth. To initiate an alarm if you're hurt.The helmet can also contact your emergency contacts and tells the location of where you are too.If you don't respond. The helmet can also capture three kinds of events, one is a straightforward and linear impact, another is involving linear forces and rotational ones too, the last is a whiplash of a crash. This helmet can now lessen the amounts of death for cyclists.https://www.popsci.com/bike-helmet-crash-detection


Helmets Save Lives

An innovative bike helmet can help save a crash victim by almost instantaneously reporting the accident to emergency officials. The helmet has an accelerometer and a gyroscope that, when detecting a fall, initiates an alarm via a Bluetooth connection to the user’s phone. The helmet is also connected to the user’s phone by Bluetooth. Additionally, if the user does not respond, the helmet can notify emergency contacts and can communicate the individual’s location. Furthermore, the helmet has the ability to capture three kinds of events that can happen to a user’s head: a straightforward and linear impact; an impact involving linear and rotational forces; and the whiplash of a crash. Thanks to its innovation, the helmet can aid in reducing the amount of deaths in cyclists. Source: https://www.popsci.com/bike-helmet-crash-detection


Comets VS Asteroids

Most people have heard of comets and asteroids, but don't really know the differences between them. Asteroids could be different kinds they can be metallic, stony, or composed of rocks, while comets are frozen of ice while traveling through the solar system. Asteroids orbit close to the sun and comets tend to try to stay away, but the orbit sometimes brings them close. According to NASA, the largest asteroid is 329 miles around and the smallest 6 feet around. Comets are small and may melt away very quick while being next to the sun. Though comets and asteroids seem alike they are very many differences between them. Source: https://www.popsci.com/what-is-a-comet-asteroid#page-2


According to the AP style guide, “versus” should have a period after it, when abbreviated.
Chris, I excluded the word “really” because it is not necessary and added “few know” because it allows the sentence to flow better; Most people have heard of comets and asteroids, but few know the differences between them.
Christ, “stony” and “made of rocks” is basically the same description so I would suggest you only choose one. Remember to carefully read the article; the whole comet is not frozen; just the center part or nucleus. Also, be careful of run-on sentences; make sure to separate your ideas; Asteroids come in different forms: metallic or stony; contrarily, comets have a nucleus made of ice that remains frozen while traveling through the solar system.
I changed “and” to “while” and I added a little more information. Because there was too uch information for one sentence, I placed a semicolon to separate similar ideas; Asteroids orbit close to the sun, while comets tend to stay away, due to high temperatures; however, their orbit sometimes brings them close.
I only added “is only” but great job on the rest; According to NASA, the largest asteroid is 329 miles around and the smallest is only 6 feet around


I reworded “while being next to” to “when they get within close range” because it flows better; Comets are small and may melt away very quickly when they get within close range of the sun.
Again, be careful with spelling. I changed the word “they” to “there” and I removed “them” because it was not necessary;


Comets VS Asteroids Most people have heard of comets and asteroids, but don't really know the differences between them. Asteroids could be different kinds they can be metallic, stony, or composed of rocks, while comets are frozen of ice while traveling through the solar system. Asteroids orbit close to the sun and comets tend to try to stay away, but the orbit sometimes brings them close. According to NASA, the largest asteroid is 329 miles around and the smallest 6 feet around. Comets are small and may melt away very quick while being next to the sun. Though comets and asteroids seem alike they are very many differences between them. Source: https://www.popsci.com/what-is-a-comet-asteroid#page-2

Comets vs. Asteroids Most people have heard of comets and asteroids, but few know the differences between them. Asteroids come in different forms: metallic or stony; contrarily, comets have a nucleus made of ice that remains frozen while traveling through the solar system. Asteroids orbit close to the sun, while comets tend to stay away, due to high temperatures; however, their orbit sometimes brings them close. According to NASA, the largest asteroid is 329 miles around and the smallest is only 6 feet around. Comets are small and may melt away very quickly when they get within close range of the sun. Though comets and asteroids seem alike, there are many differences between the two. Source: https://www.popsci.com/what-is-a-comet-asteroid#page-2






Chris's article page
Hey Chris! Do this article, it's a good and easy one for starters.

Do it like this:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/sep/24/10-minutes-of-exercise-a-day-improves-memory
Do it like this: Follow the following steps to write articles on www.goodtoknow.com

You must condense your article to:
1. Headline

2. Topic sentence
3. Fact 1 sentence
4. Fact 2 sentence
5. Fact 3 sentence
6. Fact 4 sentence
7.Concluding sentence
8. Source: (The URL - the website that you got the news articles from. Like this: Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/long-sleeves-on-doctors-white-coats-may-spread-germs/ )